Hi guys, I've written an erotic story and would like to hear your thoughts on erotic fiction. It's a second draft so there are still improvements to make.
I was just wondering what you guys thought made a good erotic story?
I am wary of posting the first page here just in case it makes anyone a bit too excited! lol
Anyway here it is...
Precious wrapped the towel around her wet, fragile body and looked over at Guy whose legs were stretched out over the bed. His big bulge was pulsating through his Calvin Klein boxers, like a hamster trying to escape from its cage.
"Come over here, you sexy thing" Guy licked his lips and drooled at Precious, like a drunken man drooling over a kebab.
"You have one hot body" Guy gasped, as Precious neatly dropped the towel down to her feet.
Precious winked at him, then jumped on top of him like an excitable, adorable puppy. She started barking with joy as Guy started sucking her flabby skin. He started biting her nipple, nibbling at it obsessively. Precious felt his warm saliva pouring over her skin and a spasm of pleasure escaped her lips.
They kissed and she unwrapped his lollipop, which sprung out with joy like a jack in the box. She giggled and grabbed the lucky lottery balls that were fortunate enough to provide pleasure to her entire body.
That's the first page pretty much.