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Divorce Rates Are At Worst Ever. Why?

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A student forum is definitely the best place to ask this.

I haven't bothered reading most of the crap posted, but I do suspect that if benefits are removed for single parents, most won't resort to divorce so quickly.

Not saying its the right thing to do now, that'd punish some that left abusive husbands, ext. Nor am I saying its the sole reason for divorces/single parents.
Reply 41
i kind of take offence to your point that divorce is awful and the kids are screwed up and mess about as a result of it.
i dont feel there is a problem with being divorced if it is handled well. if the parents are constantly fighting in front of their children (whether married or divorced) it will have a negative effect, whereas those who are civil about the whole thing around their children wont have that bad an effect. my parents are divorced and i have turned out fine as have both of my cousins (both of my aunts split from their partners and 1 is a qualified lawyer and the other is hopefully going to uni to be a lawyer). my parents handled it well despite living about an hour away from each other for many points of my childhood, they were always good around each other and i actually preferred them seperately rather than together as it was when they were together that we had problems.its all to do with how the parents are around each other and how they handle the situation that determines how well the child will cope with it.

also just cos a parent is a single parent, doesnt mean that kid will automatically be screwed up and mess about/cause trouble in class all the time. i know many children in my school who came from "happily married" families and have been right dickheads in lessons, and also as a nursery nurse i never saw any different behaviour from those that had single parents to those that had married parents.

i think the reason that the rate has gone up is because it is more acceptable to be divorced, as back in the day it would bring shame to the family so people just used to stick it out and be absolutely miserable, rather than just admit "yes we have tried but its really not working out and would be best all round if we called it a day because with how we are now it is just hurting everyone involved". also i dont think anyone gets a divorce lightly as a lot of people still see it as a bit of a failure for their marriage and desperately hope it can be turned around and get better, especially if kids are involved, as many will still try to make it work "for the kids sake", which is wrong and is usually when the problems really start for everyone involved.

anyway rant over, i just get annoyed at people who make it out to be the worst thing in the world to be a single parent and pass judgement on single mums, when i know many single mums who are amazing (just like i know many married parents who are also amazing).
I'm the child of divorced parents and I turned out very well, thank you. It's worse living with two parents who are miserable with each other and fighting all the time.
Original post by Alpharius
A student forum is definitely the best place to ask this.

I haven't bothered reading most of the crap posted, but I do suspect that if benefits are removed for single parents, most won't resort to divorce so quickly.

Not saying its the right thing to do now, that'd punish some that left abusive husbands, ext. Nor am I saying its the sole reason for divorces/single parents.


so it's better to keep them miserable and together than apart but maybe happier?

I dont agree with your New Right views. You cant force people to stay together with financial incentives, and even if you could it would not be a good thing.

on a side note, marriage rates in the UK are actually increasing. i think divorce has also been going down in the past few years.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 44
Original post by Kenocide
So you're suggesting that now, with a state to "sponge of" [sic], people don't need the money their spouse would otherwise provide?

OK two slight problems I have with that:
- Are you really implying that the main factor in deciding whether or not to get a divorce is money?
- We're kind of in this worldwide economic crisis. Suggesting that people at present are more willing to get divorced because they don't need the money during an economic crisis seems kind of stupid when all the evidence points to the contrary.



Where did i say the main factor? I

Exactly, they dont need the money as they can sponge of the state!
Original post by ras90
Where did i say the main factor? I

Exactly, they dont need the money as they can sponge of the state!


oh jesus christ! where do you get this idea that there are thousands of evil single parents "sponging" money off the state?? i'm sick of people using that expression!
Reply 46
Original post by MrHappy_J
oh jesus christ! where do you get this idea that there are thousands of evil single parents "sponging" money off the state?? i'm sick of people using that expression!


There is a direct link between divorce rates on country's and welfare available.

Yopu are agueing with facts.

I CBA talk to you anymore, you are too stupid.
Original post by ras90
There is a direct link between divorce rates on country's and welfare available.

Yopu are agueing with facts.

I CBA talk to you anymore, you are too stupid.


There really isn't. The vast majority of benefit claimants are pensioners and the disabled, NOT lone parents. The media just likes to create moral panics because it benefits the government if general sentiments go against single parents and others who might claim benefits.

:rolleyes:

"anymore"? I've only quoted you once.

also: your sig is offensive. kindly keep photographs of porn stars to yourself. And do learn how to spell.
(edited 12 years ago)
I think stress levels are probably higher now than before because of the recession and the unemployment rates and things and when financial problems become more common so will divorces because stress makes people less tolerant of each other which ultimately leads to more frequent and more heated arguments. When you're ridiculously stressed and you feel like your world is crumbling around you it's very difficult to have the same regard for other people's feelings and hold back from saying what you think. I'm normally very tactful but when I get too stressed to think straight I find it really difficult to keep my thoughts to myself sometimes if something/someone/a situation winds me up.

I also think people develop slightly differently than they did years ago in that they want different things and they tend to have different views. Years ago the norm was to get married, have children and stay with that person for the rest of your life and the people who did that probably never would have considered any other way of life and divorce was looked down upon much more than it is today. If you think about how many people you know who have divorced parents and then compare that to how many people have divorced grandparents the difference is massive. Also, I think these days we're constantly having stuff shoved in our faces showing us how great other people's lives are compared to ours and it makes us feel like we should go out and experience everything the world has to offer, living life to the fullest rather than being content with what we have now.
Original post by Sephiroth
Oh right, that explains why you know absolutely nothing about gay life.


Men are gay because they want to have relationships with other men. If they did not want to have relationships with men they would not be gay.

/
because people rush into getting married because they think that's what they're supposed to do, but now there isn't the social stigma to prevent divorces from happening when they realise they've made a mistake.
Original post by Sephiroth

It's a lot easier to prove something does exist and nearly impossible to prove something doesn't exist.


Well roughly 8,728 civil partnerships occured in 20081 along with 232K marriages2 if the number of gay people is 5% of the whole population and we use the conservative number of 10% of adult gay people in the closet. If there were the same number of out gay people as straight people then this would put civil partnership numbers at 192K which while is still lower than their straight counterparts, is still more substantial than "Doesn't exist" and if you take into account the fact that there will still be a load more same sex relationships extending this number pretty much shows that GAY PEOPLE WANT RELATIONSHIPS AND LEGAL RECOGNITION OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP and to say most gay people don't want relationships and not just a little stupid (imo) factually inaccurate.

1.http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/guide-method/method-quality/quality/quality-information/social-statistics/summary-quality-report-for-civil-partnerships.pdf

2 http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/marriages-in-england-and-wales--provisional-/2008/index.html

[TLDR] for there proportion of the population gay people have fairly close to the same number of Civil partnerships as Straight marriages
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 52
Original post by TheCasual
I think there are a few reasons. People are living longer, theres more pressure in life, its easier to get a divorce and its not as frowned on to get divourced like in olderden days.

:colonhash:
Original post by Sephiroth
Come on now, that's like asking me to prove god doesn't exist.

It's a lot easier to prove something does exist and nearly impossible to prove something doesn't exist.

So go on, prove to me that a majority of gays want relationships and marriage. Spend a month on Fitlads, Gaydar, Grindr, your local gay scene, your uni's LGBT society etc. and come back with your results.

Or you could just cry yourself to sleep while desperately hammering your mouse button at people's -reputation links.

At the end of the day you have zero experience of gay life, whereas I have tonnes. If gays did relationships I'd certainly not be single right now having spoken to probably 10000 gays in my life. I've yet to encounter one who is looking for more than cock, often bareback cock too. There's a reason like 1 in 7 gays in London have HIV.


I have plenty of experience of the gay life; a majority of my male friends are gay. A majority of those friends are either in long term relationships or seeking one. There, prove me wrong. Oh, and I'm not a guy or gay, so I guess this makes my opinion valid? Lol. Using Grindr to gauge the gay male population is like using "Girls gone wild" to gauge the straight population. Don't be so blissful in your ignorance...it's obnoxious.
Reply 54
Original post by vickie89
i kind of take offence to your point that divorce is awful and the kids are screwed up and mess about as a result of it.
i dont feel there is a problem with being divorced if it is handled well. if the parents are constantly fighting in front of their children (whether married or divorced) it will have a negative effect, whereas those who are civil about the whole thing around their children wont have that bad an effect. my parents are divorced and i have turned out fine as have both of my cousins (both of my aunts split from their partners and 1 is a qualified lawyer and the other is hopefully going to uni to be a lawyer). my parents handled it well despite living about an hour away from each other for many points of my childhood, they were always good around each other and i actually preferred them seperately rather than together as it was when they were together that we had problems.its all to do with how the parents are around each other and how they handle the situation that determines how well the child will cope with it.

also just cos a parent is a single parent, doesnt mean that kid will automatically be screwed up and mess about/cause trouble in class all the time. i know many children in my school who came from "happily married" families and have been right dickheads in lessons, and also as a nursery nurse i never saw any different behaviour from those that had single parents to those that had married parents.

i think the reason that the rate has gone up is because it is more acceptable to be divorced, as back in the day it would bring shame to the family so people just used to stick it out and be absolutely miserable, rather than just admit "yes we have tried but its really not working out and would be best all round if we called it a day because with how we are now it is just hurting everyone involved". also i dont think anyone gets a divorce lightly as a lot of people still see it as a bit of a failure for their marriage and desperately hope it can be turned around and get better, especially if kids are involved, as many will still try to make it work "for the kids sake", which is wrong and is usually when the problems really start for everyone involved.

anyway rant over, i just get annoyed at people who make it out to be the worst thing in the world to be a single parent and pass judgement on single mums, when i know many single mums who are amazing (just like i know many married parents who are also amazing).


if you re read my post, maybe i communicated it wrong, but I was implying that divorced parents to a degree, hold a child back from achieving what they can. This is what I and many many others believe, this includes mine and your government who actively are encouraging, through some new policies, a stable family background.

I also mentioned in my original post a stable family background will not guarantee any significance either way, it just makes it more likely. So I appreciate you turned out 'ok', but it is universally agreed that having divorced parents will adversely affect a child because of stress, worry, travelling, I dont want to go into details but a child wonders why their mum and dad are not living together, why they live in two different homes when their mates live in one. If you dont believe me use google please.

..............................

i agree with the welfare argument to a small extent. I wouldnt say the majority of divorce cases originate from this reason but there were girls in my school who openly, and I directly quote 'i wanna have a baby quick time coz it means i get a flat'

..............................

i like how some people have shrugged this of saying this is not a problem. Just today i heard on that radio that an official report into the riots of last year concluded that parenting, or lack of, was the blame. These people who have taken part in the riots, some of them are facing tough times ahead with the legal system, they may go to jail, which will make them not fit for work when the come out in the eyes of many employers. This is a serious issue because all data shows that this is increasing, not decreasing. So if high divorce rates are not a problem, is it ok then to go round f****** what ever one pleases everyday on the basis that we are 'free' human beings?

It is well documented what having a mother and father does to a child. With the gay parenting issue, this has come up. Scientists have published articles how the different influences of a male and female parent combine to benefit a child.
Original post by konvictz0007

However, we keep hearing things like paedophile cases, rape, crime increasing. One are which I would like to focus on is divorce rates.

Divorce rates are at an all time high currently in the UK/USA from various sources.


UK divorce rates in 2010 were higher than 2009 (2011 figures are not yet available) but 2010 divorce rates were lower than divorce rates in every other year since 1977.

UK crime figures peaked around 1994/5 and have consistently declined since then. They rose last year but are still below the figures for previous years back to 1994/5.

US crime figures have also declined.

Rape statistics have risen, but that is believed to be due to greater reporting rather than an increase in crime.

As paedophilia is not a separate crime I am unaware of any statistics. If you are, please share them.
I think that the ease of divorce is a part, and also that couples walk away even when there is the possibility of reconciliation.
Original post by Sephiroth

What I find funny is how most gays are shouting on for gay marriage yet you'd be hard pressed to find a gay who even wants a relationship nevermind a marriage. There should be no debates on the issue until people change their attitudes to relationships, it's a complete waste of tax payer's money.


I'd say there are plenty of people from the LGBT community and even people who aren't (like me) who support the idea of gay marriage because it's not about whether people will actually get married, more to do with the option to get married. I know some people from the LGBT community who do want to get married. I don't agree that one might be "hard pressed to find a gay who even wants a relationship nevermind a marriage. "
Furthermore there are many straight people who might not want a relationship let alone marriage, should we stop marriage for straight people?
The campaign for the legalisation of gay marriage is legitimate and it should happen.
Reply 58
Original post by nulli tertius
UK divorce rates in 2010 were higher than 2009 (2011 figures are not yet available) but 2010 divorce rates were lower than divorce rates in every other year since 1977.

UK crime figures peaked around 1994/5 and have consistently declined since then. They rose last year but are still below the figures for previous years back to 1994/5.

US crime figures have also declined.

Rape statistics have risen, but that is believed to be due to greater reporting rather than an increase in crime.

As paedophilia is not a separate crime I am unaware of any statistics. If you are, please share them.


again im sorry if my original post misled you, my idea was to show that divorce rates have increased over time, and it has. You are comparing year on year in the last 15 or so years, obviously data fluctuates in a year on year period, that is why statisticians use a larger time scale in order get a better picture.

also you must account for relative divorce rates.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce-rates-marriage-ons

If you look at the data, it is undeniable that divorce rates are following an increasing. I dont know if your trying to suggest there is no problem or something but clearly respectable newspapers and the UK government disagree with what your saying and support the notion that divorce rates are worryingly high and something must be done about it.
I think its due to women's equality. More women have their own jobs qualifications and such. I think its a mistake to assume no divorce means happy marriages, it might just mean no other options, meaning unhappy men can take a mistress and unhappy women have to lump it as without their husband's money they would be on the street. Now if a women is unhappy she can leave, if her husband cheats she can leave, if she cheats due to more interaction more likely to meet someone her husband can leave.

Divorce rates often correlated with the economic climate, marriage ties people together financially too.
(edited 12 years ago)

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