I have nothing really to say. And no I should go to bed as I've got to be at the station for quarter past 8 but I really don't want.
Even if you're not feeling too tired, send yourself to bed anyway, and just close your eyes and clear your head, try not to think about anything. This calms me down quite quickly and helps me fall asleep.
If he really typed that then it just seems like a massive waste of your time.
I'm alright, thanks. How did the parent situation turn out? Presuming it has reached some sort of temporary conclusion.
I know, and combining that with all the crap he's said/done, it shouldn't be worth it. I can say "oh, he's very different now", but it's always at the back of my mind, it's always there to make me feel crap. But then this was a year and a few months ago. Another thing is that we've got a load of stuff booked together and I'm supposed to meet his mum and stuff, if I say something now I'll probably lose a lot of money. I'm not going to contact him until I've got something sorted out. Thanks for replying
Glad to hear it Yeah, it's alright now, other family have had a word with my dad and he's been subdued, overall it's much better than at Christmas. Thank you for asking
Yep, I understand how she's feeling ( for her!) And at the end of the day they can and probably would turn around and say they found a better candidate. They can also claim that the workplace isn't suitable for a person with mental illness
I know, and combining that with all the crap he's said/done, it shouldn't be worth it. I can say "oh, he's very different now", but it's always at the back of my mind, it's always there to make me feel crap. But then this was a year and a few months ago. Another thing is that we've got a load of stuff booked together and I'm supposed to meet his mum and stuff, if I say something now I'll probably lose a lot of money. I'm not going to contact him until I've got something sorted out. Thanks for replying
Glad to hear it Yeah, it's alright now, other family have had a word with my dad and he's been subdued, overall it's much better than at Christmas. Thank you for asking
At least you're not in denial about it. Unfortuantely, it seems that very few people actually do change but then again, he could be in the minority that has done so. Although if he did/said anything like that again, I really would just try and... yeah, terminate that aspect of your life immediately
Ah, great! I'm glad you can study in peace now and whatnot.
At least you're not in denial about it. Unfortuantely, it seems that very few people actually do change but then again, he could be in the minority that has done so. Although if he did/said anything like that again, I really would just try and... yeah, terminate that aspect of your life immediately
Ah, great! I'm glad you can study in peace now and whatnot.
I'm not sure, I've always felt that for half our 2 year relationship he was horrible, but I was too weak to say anything. I still think about everything now and again, so maybe I should just end it. I don't know, ah well.
Yeah, it's been better, thank you again for asking
I keep talking about myself sorry, am feeling pretty bad about it How have things been with you? Good start to the new year?
Is this a friend you're talking about, or someone else?
I'm a bit like this too, I get quite panicky when I feel like I'm being ignored, so I just ask it straight out because I can't stand any form of tension. I don't know if I'm interpreting your situation correctly, but sometimes it better to just ask straight out.
Yeah. I've been trying to ask straight out, but he's been ignoring me.
It's ok though- I went and made myself tea (cinnamon bagels are the best thing ever) and made a decision. So, yeah, basically, that's it, case closed and I'm not thinking about it any more.
I know what you mean about tension, I'm horrible for it. I don't even like returning things in shops, because I think that I'm making the sales person sad
I'm not sure, I've always felt that for half our 2 year relationship he was horrible, but I was too weak to say anything. I still think about everything now and again, so maybe I should just end it. I don't know, ah well.
Yeah, it's been better, thank you again for asking
I keep talking about myself sorry, am feeling pretty bad about it How have things been with you? Good start to the new year?
Well, he seems to make you unhappy and it doesn't seem like you can trust him... which is pretty much the exact opposite of what a relationship is meant to be doing/consist of. Presumably you're not going to the same university as him?
No need to thank me or anyone else, its what this thread is for. And don't worry, there is literally nothing going on in my life right now that is worth talking about. I'm just waiting for September/October.
Yeah. I've been trying to ask straight out, but he's been ignoring me.
It's ok though- I went and made myself tea (cinnamon bagels are the best thing ever) and made a decision. So, yeah, basically, that's it, case closed and I'm not thinking about it any more.
I know what you mean about tension, I'm horrible for it. I don't even like returning things in shops, because I think that I'm making the sales person sad
I just replied to your PM, and given what you've told me here most of what I said doesn't matter so big big big hugs from me, well done. I definitely agree with you with the bagels too
It's a horrible feeling isn't it? I do the same, haha! I have to put my tough face on With other people, I just let it build up until I get frustrated, not the best thing to do.
Well, he seems to make you unhappy and it doesn't seem like you can trust him... which is pretty much the exact opposite of what a relationship is meant to be doing/consist of. Presumably you're not going to the same university as him?
No need to thank me or anyone else, its what this thread is for. And don't worry, there is literally nothing going on in my life right now that is worth talking about. I'm just waiting for September/October.
You're very right But how would I go about explaining that I found this post? Or that I haven't forgotten what he used to be like? Would I sound stupid? Long story short, we've an age gap between us and he's just about to finish uni. *sigh*
I just replied to your PM, and given what you've told me here most of what I said doesn't matter so big big big hugs from me, well done. I definitely agree with you with the bagels too
It's a horrible feeling isn't it? I do the same, haha! I have to put my tough face on With other people, I just let it build up until I get frustrated, not the best thing to do.
I'm glad things are ok now, enjoy your bagels
Ah, it's ok. Bagels are the best thing ever (a bit expensive, but one of my flatmates eats them all the time and I've been resisting buying a packet of my own for months )
I wish I didn't care about not upsetting other people, because there's a point where it gets daft. I don't like telling my doctor that things haven't been so good because I feel like I'm disappointing her. Which isn't a particularly good reason, really..
The bagels were enjoyed an hour ago Currently resisting the urge to go and eat the three that are left..
Ah, it's ok. Bagels are the best thing ever (a bit expensive, but one of my flatmates eats them all the time and I've been resisting buying a packet of my own for months )
I wish I didn't care about not upsetting other people, because there's a point where it gets daft. I don't like telling my doctor that things haven't been so good because I feel like I'm disappointing her. Which isn't a particularly good reason, really..
The bagels were enjoyed an hour ago Currently resisting the urge to go and eat the three that are left..
I only buy them when I see them in the reduced section, I'm quite the cheapo
No, I know what you mean. What I've started to do is just force myself into being more assertive, being assertive doesn't mean you have to be raging and stuff, it just means you're looking out for you which is fine. And remember that your doctor is there to help you above all, it'll be better in the long run if you say what's going on. It's the only way we can make progress, right?
You're very right But how would I go about explaining that I found this post? Or that I haven't forgotten what he used to be like? Would I sound stupid? Long story short, we've an age gap between us and he's just about to finish uni. *sigh*
Ah, uni excitement? High 5
How did you find out? As long as you didn't hack into his e-mail or anything, I'd just be very direct about it. He's entirely in the wrong there and it's pretty unpleasant that he said he loved you a week later. So no, you definitely wouldn't sound stupid as long as you didn't do anything 'wrong', really. If he says anything like you're being too sensitive then he's full of ****
Pretty much! The offers are Unconditional so now it's just the wait...
I was googling the username he uses for a photo website he has as I couldn't remember the site and saw he was on TSR. I suppose I did look at his posts, which could be seen as privacy-evading though. I'm an idiot, I know.
I was googling the username he uses for a photo website he has as I couldn't remember the site and saw he was on TSR. I suppose I did look at his posts, which could be seen as privacy-evading though. I'm an idiot, I know.
Oh nice! Where are you looking to go?
Then you should probably point it out to him. He's kind of an idiot for not deleting it, really. It's not like you were even looking for it. Again, gotta stress that isn't your fault at all.
Glasgow/Kent/Essex/Bangor, I like 'em all equally. You?
Feeling more confused and crap about myself than ever. I really don't think I have any kind of future. Everyone else has plans but I have nothing. I'm almost 2/3 the way through my first year and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. Before I was so hard working and was so looking forward to university.. and now I don't even try, I just worry all the time.
And I didn't go to see the nurse this week like I said I would. I chickened out because I don't want someone to tell me all my problems, I already know them.
Spoiler
The senior tutor said to me today "what you're going through isn't uncommon. Hang in there, we don't want to lose you" so clearly someone has been talking about me to him, either the nurse or another tutor. I don't want to be treated like a special case. He knows about my home background and was asking how things were at home and if I was fitting in. And he was asking all this within earshot of other people :/ I don't understand how I can change as a person if people label me as this one person. When people call you shy all the time its hard to be anything else.
Don't forget, you're doing a degree. I'm sure they're supposed to challenge you so you won't get everything right first time. Try not to worry about it too much, I'm almost certain there are people who are struggling with the work too.
Spoiler
Thanks, I guess you're right, just when I can't do it right away I want to give up, wonder if my concentration will ever come back. Did 3 questions for the nicer module last night, hoping to complete it today so that at least I'm doing some work while avoiding the stuff I can't do. Got an email from my advisor, he wants me to come and see him next week. Why do I keep thinking he will be mad at me and think I'm making excuses when I have no evidence for that. Going to try to stop torturing myself.
Spoiler
Sorry about your grandad, hope he is better and out of hospital soon. Enjoy your visit. I know, still in bed, well got up to have a shower then came back to bed. Got an insane amount of work to do, but just want to stay here.
Feeling more confused and crap about myself than ever. I really don't think I have any kind of future. Everyone else has plans but I have nothing. I'm almost 2/3 the way through my first year and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. Before I was so hard working and was so looking forward to university.. and now I don't even try, I just worry all the time.
And I didn't go to see the nurse this week like I said I would. I chickened out because I don't want someone to tell me all my problems, I already know them.
Spoiler
The senior tutor said to me today "what you're going through isn't uncommon. Hang in there, we don't want to lose you" so clearly someone has been talking about me to him, either the nurse or another tutor. I don't want to be treated like a special case. He knows about my home background and was asking how things were at home and if I was fitting in. And he was asking all this within earshot of other people :/ I don't understand how I can change as a person if people label me as this one person. When people call you shy all the time its hard to be anything else.
Spoiler
I know it can be uncomfortable but maybe it's for the best he knows, at least he sounds supportive. I know it's hard but I would really try to see the gp about how you are feeling, this doesn't have to continue. Glad the guy is nice and you are not a fraud, he has just seen you for who you are.