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Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:17 #1 
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Default Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
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Even though I love her to bits my girlfriend can annoy the HELL outta me when it comes to texting, sometimes she replies quickly and normally then all of a sudden she will take longer and longer and the texts become shorter. Then I just feel like im talking to(at) her but shes not really too bothered to talk back to me and it makes me feel ****. So often I say summing like 'well text me later if you want', coz then at least I know that she wants to talk to me. For example earlier she said she wasnt up to much and i suggested she call me coz we were both bored and she said she coudnt really talk at the moment, which i thought was quite contradictory or her way of saying f off lol?

My main point is what should I do whenever i feel she cant be bothered to talk to me and starts sending me short texts. Im not sure if she relises it, but in a way it puts me off coz I never know if she wants to talk to me. She never really reveals her feelings either and it makes me a bit paranoid aout us, and then randomly she will be really sweet. I find that I have lost quite a bit of confidence in myself compared to when we first met because i alwais feel that i may be annoying her. Should I just stop replying or what? Its just soo annoying, coz i dunno wether she is busy, pissed off etc etc

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Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:31 #2 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Your losing confidence isn't her fault, from what I can tell she's behaving normally.

Something tells me this is a newish relationship and that you're quite young.
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:33 #3 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
You are looking into her texts, way too much.
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:35 #4 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Im 21 andYeah it is quite new, my second relationship although my first one was over two years, im 21, in a way she has the total opposite personality to my ex so for me its taking time to adjust and some days I find it harder than others.
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:37 #5 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Do you text her quite a lot? One of my ex-girlfriends text me all day, everyday and it annoyed the hell out of me.
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:40 #6 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Yeah i do, it bugs me coz we aint seen each other much recently and shes like I miss you, but yet in my head im thinking but u barely talk to me when u have the chance?!?! lol
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:42 #7 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Yeah i do, it bugs me coz we aint seen each other much recently and shes like I miss you, but yet in my head im thinking but u barely talk to me when u have the chance?!?! lol

That doesn't mean she doesn't miss you, she might just not be big on texting. A lot of the time it can feel like talking just for the sake of feeling in touch, which is just a reminder for some that you're not together.

Stop reading so much into things.
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:44 #8 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Text her less frequently overall. Or the same amount, but packed into small bursts.
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:45 #9 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
You can't decipher a text she sends as her being pissed off, unless she says in a text she's pissed off. It doesn't really matter what she's doing when you're texting her, you should concern yourself with your day.
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:46 #10 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Well my boyfriend texts me quite often sometimes and it annoys the hel out of me. Not that I don't love him or whatever. Maybe you being too clingy makes her want to have more free space.
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 18:49 #11 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Inferences made from texts = 0.
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 20:17 #12 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Seriously, get some confidence and get over it. It's a text.

My boyfriend sometimes texts me straight away, other times he waits hours upon hours, or he doesn't reply at all. Sometimes he finishes texts with "kiss" and is all sweet, other times he's just bland and doesn't finish his texts with anything sweet. Do I conclude from that that he doesn't wanna talk to me? No. I'm exactly the same with texts - sometimes I simply haven't checked my phone.

Be more secure in your relationship. Now, her not talking about her feelings bothers you - so tell her. Ask her if she could be more expressive towards you. Different people need different things to make them feel secure - for me, it's words. I like to hear it.

But regarding the texting - seriously, you're reading into it waaaay too much. Your relationship is not based on just how long her texts are or how fast she replies. And have you talked to her about this? Tell her of your paranoia, and see what she says. Sometimes hearing her reason behind it, even if it's just "I didn't think it mattered" can help calm you down, cus you realise that there're no hidden meanings and messages behind the text.

Communication is the key
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 20:46 #13 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Keep annon I have friends who use this site

Even though I love her to bits my girlfriend can annoy the HELL outta me when it comes to texting, sometimes she replies quickly and normally then all of a sudden she will take longer and longer and the texts become shorter. Then I just feel like im talking to(at) her but shes not really too bothered to talk back to me and it makes me feel ****. So often I say summing like 'well text me later if you want', coz then at least I know that she wants to talk to me. For example earlier she said she wasnt up to much and i suggested she call me coz we were both bored and she said she coudnt really talk at the moment, which i thought was quite contradictory or her way of saying f off lol?

My main point is what should I do whenever i feel she cant be bothered to talk to me and starts sending me short texts. Im not sure if she relises it, but in a way it puts me off coz I never know if she wants to talk to me. She never really reveals her feelings either and it makes me a bit paranoid aout us, and then randomly she will be really sweet. I find that I have lost quite a bit of confidence in myself compared to when we first met because i alwais feel that i may be annoying her. Should I just stop replying or what? Its just soo annoying, coz i dunno wether she is busy, pissed off etc etc

Opinions please

good old texting..sounds like MSN to be honest. Both convey a tone that may be unintentional and both have no emotions either.
she may be doing it unintentionally - and might be texting you when she's really bored or missing you, and the short texts could be when she's actually busy doing something.
Girls are weird - I know I used to do that, but that was early days really.

I'd just suggest you talk to her about it to be honest and say you're not sure if she wants to talk or not coz the tone of voice sounds unconvincing via text.
And as for the confidence aspect, I don't really think it's confidence you're losing, more like feeling the effect of miscommunication. To be honest, its not something that should ruffle your feathers.. just talk to her
 
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 21:35 #14 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
ok i will try not to read into it so much, i guess its jus a vibe of negative shadows coming from my last relationship which i quite blame myself for ending, and i just dont want this one to go the same way! its hardddd
Old 18-12-2008: 18th December 2008 21:57 #15 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Don't read so much into it. I've been with my boyfriend for fifteen months now, and aometimes we send long texts and sometimes all I get is a "Love you" and that's my lot for the day. There's nothing malicious in it, it's just that sometimes you're busy and simply don't have time to write a book. Still, if it bothers you that much, I'd say talk to her. She might just not have realised how much this bothers you, and chances are you'll get even more pissed the longer this continues and the longer she fails to notice how you feel.
Old 19-12-2008: 19th December 2008 21:05 #16 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
omg! i hate that... ive started going out with this guy... and he is lovely... but he always texts really short texts... and sometimes puts 3 kisses... mostly 2.. and even sometimes 1...
but then i figured out.. that sometimes i totally forget to put kisses anyway lol just made me feel better about our relationship.. that maybe he forgets to put kisses liek i did
Old 19-12-2008: 19th December 2008 22:45 #17 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
I can see why you're annoyed, OP, if it seems like she's blowing hot and cold and not being consistent. Why not just tell her how you feel, and clear the air? It would be nice to find out she's just being forgetful or whatever, and doesn't mean to make you feel insecure after all.
 
Old 19-12-2008: 19th December 2008 23:07 #18 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Text less, she will soon start texting you.
Old 2 Weeks Ago: 3rd November 2009 16:59 #19 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
tbh i get like that about texting back..it doesnt mean anything !if its all the time its probably habit she has(lik me ha)
im guessing she wants to keep in contact with you but it does get hard trying to be interesting all the time!just relax..if it meant anything serious you'd KNOW about it
 
Old 2 Weeks Ago: 3rd November 2009 21:50 #20 
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Default Re: Girlfriend texting - Losing Confidence :S
 
Originally Posted by Dr Zeuss™
Do you text her quite a lot? One of my ex-girlfriends text me all day, everyday and it annoyed the hell out of me.

This. Especially when the texts are banal as ****.
 
 
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