[Anonymous]

I used to be so shy (literally no more than 4 or 5 months ago), but I realised I would never get myself anywhere with girls if I continued to be like that.

Don't listen to others telling you to "fake confidence", just be confident. I've settled into being confident around girls absolutely fine now and I'm having much better luck with girls (despite not being good looking (and this worse looking guy than me that i know was being grinded by two hot girls in a club the other night!))

[fernandotorres999]

Originally Posted by DominF

Wow, it's almost like the advice in this thread is directed at me... OP, would I be correct in thinking that maybe, even though you try to act confident, you're getting the impression that confidence isn't something you can fake. And, since your confidence is dependent someone showing vague interest in you, you feel somewhat trapped in a vicious cycle?

Exactly.
And the person who asked what i do - i'm a uni student.

[issih]

looks really have nothing to do with it, there are plenty of butt ugly guys out there with super fine girlfriends.
its all down to confidence, charm, arrogance all that shhiz.
big headed pricks are damn annoying but they get girls. just think yourself as top meat and you'll do fiine.
this is all advice for pulling btw, not serious relationships...

[DominF]

Originally Posted by fernandotorres999

Exactly.
And the person who asked what i do - i'm a uni student.

Thought so. I'll be watching the answers to this thread closely myself.

[n0c0ntr0l]

You aren't confident enough. I'm finding as I become even more confident, I'm getting more and more girls. YOu just have the wrong attitude to life. Live in your own reality.

[Cowtipper]

Originally Posted by Age_of_Innocence

But you're Fernando Torres!

No! I'm Fernando Torres!

[TheNack]

Originally Posted by DominF

Wow, it's almost like the advice in this thread is directed at me... OP, would I be correct in thinking that maybe, even though you try to act confident, you're getting the impression that confidence isn't something you can fake. And, since your confidence is dependent someone showing vague interest in you, you feel somewhat trapped in a vicious cycle?

I think this is the problem lots of guys share: we let our self esteem depend on how much attention we get from girls. Like Superfrank said, if you don't like or value yourself, then the girls won't either. I really think the key is to find a way to build your own self esteem yourself without needing female attention for it. I've recently started getting more active in some societies at uni and going swimming a few times a week. It's early days yet, but hopefully over the next few weeks and months my self-esteem will grow and I will start to have true self-confidence. It takes time, but it should be worth it in the end.

[n0c0ntr0l]

Originally Posted by TheNack

I think this is the problem lots of guys share: we let our self esteem depend on how much attention we get from girls. Like Superfrank said, if you don't like or value yourself, then the girls won't either. I really think the key is to find a way to build your own self esteem yourself without needing female attention for it. I've recently started getting more active in some societies at uni and going swimming a few times a week. It's early days yet, but hopefully over the next few weeks and months my self-esteem will grow and I will start to have true self-confidence. It takes time, but it should be worth it in the end.

You feel like that gives you confidence. That's silly. Be confident for confidences sake. if you want try this. Just think about all the good feelings you have when you are in an area you are comfortable in. And try and feel that. Secondly act in the here and now. Don't be so introspective.

[mike_J]

Originally Posted by issih

looks really have nothing to do with it, there are plenty of butt ugly guys out there with super fine girlfriends.
its all down to confidence, charm, arrogance all that shhiz.
big headed pricks are damn annoying but they get girls. just think yourself as top meat and you'll do fiine.
this is all advice for pulling btw, not serious relationships...

Oh please, don't lie. Of course they do.

[TheNack]

Originally Posted by n0c0ntr0l

You feel like that gives you confidence. That's silly. Be confident for confidences sake. if you want try this. Just think about all the good feelings you have when you are in an area you are comfortable in. And try and feel that. Secondly act in the here and now. Don't be so introspective.

So are you saying that acting confident will make you confident? Up to a point maybe, but isn't that still only fake confidence? All you have learned to do is to act confident, rather than really be a confident person. It's not easy for some guys to just "be" confident, it has to be learned, so a little introspection is necessary from time to time. There is a time and a place for it though, and that is not when you are talking to a girl. Like you said, that's when you want to be in the here and now rather than worrying and analysing too much.

[n0c0ntr0l]

Originally Posted by TheNack

So are you saying that acting confident will make you confident? Up to a point maybe, but isn't that still only fake confidence? All you have learned to do is to act confident, rather than really be a confident person. It's not easy for some guys to just "be" confident, it has to be learned, so a little introspection is necessary from time to time. There is a time and a place for it though, and that is not when you are talking to a girl. Like you said, that's when you want to be in the here and now rather than worrying and analysing too much.

Personally I just know to be confident cause I'm me. Thats enough. I'm the product of billions of years of evolution. So I deserve hot women, I work hard and so I deserve everything I get.
I just believe I should be confident. And noone can take that from me.

[Age_of_Innocence]

Originally Posted by Cowtipper

No! I'm Fernando Torres!

*crucifies*

[TheNack]

Originally Posted by n0c0ntr0l

Personally I just know to be confident cause I'm me. Thats enough. I'm the product of billions of years of evolution. So I deserve hot women, I work hard and so I deserve everything I get.
I just believe I should be confident. And noone can take that from me.

Lucky you, you are naturally confident. Not all guys are like you though, as I said some of us have to learn how to be confident, and it can be realy hard work. But given that you have always been that way, you won't be able to appreciate how hard it can be for a guy to learn it and really make it a part of himself.

[Cowtipper]

Originally Posted by Age_of_Innocence

*crucifies*

Where my bros at

[SB_Vision]

what's with the lack of self-esteem on here seriously....

you're probably going for girls that see themselves high and mighty over others

[n0c0ntr0l]

Originally Posted by SB_Vision

what's with the lack of self-esteem on here seriously....

you're probably going for girls that see themselves high and mighty over others

Meh, I'm higher than them. Which is why I get them.

Be CONFIDENT!

[1tadakimasu]

Adopt a 'I do not give a ****' attitude. Life is all about taking chances.