[Jay McConville]

Hi,

I'm writing my first ever AS history essay. However I have no idea how I should get started I have wrote a short introduction on the topic and just wondered what you guy's thought of it? I can sense its not good just reading it but I have no idea how to get myself rolling as far as the introduction goes.

Question: Stalin’s own strengths explain his rise to power. Explain if you agree or disagree with this statement.

Intro: Many historians such as Robert Conquest and Deutscher believe that it was Stalin’s own strengths that explain his rise to power. Although, their views have some strong points with evidence to back their argument. I do not agree that Stalin’s personal qualities where the sole purpose of his takeover in 1924, but where of no use without being supplemented alongside Stalin’s positions in power and control over the party machinery. I will begin by explaining how Stalin’s control over the party machinery proved to be invaluable towards his rise to power and how Stalin’s own strengths where of no use without it. I will back my argument with evidence from my own research and also the views of other historians.

Any help or pointer would be much appreciated...

Thanks,

[Stricof]

Are you required to refer to a specific Historians Historiography (interpretation of a Historical event) in a unit one paper?

[matt1991]

Omit the "I will begin by..." part, try instead to show what you're going to say in the essay without having a section specifically for it; it can be a little GCSE

[kamc]

I would explain what is meant by "Stalin's own strengths" and then say to what extent that they explain his rise to power. I always find it easier to write my essay and conclusion and then write my introduction.
You should generally as a rule not mention yourself in an essay, so rather than saying "I believe x is incorrect" say "x is incorrect" and then provide evidence to back up your view.

[jjarvis]

You use where instead of were on multiple occasions, your second senetence starts with a comma splice and your language is stilted. Read your introduction aloud and you'll see what I mean.

May I suggest a reference to Stalin's reputation as a man who ruled with an iron fist, but contrast it with the contextual factors that permitted his rise to power? That almost literary use of irony and contrast can sometimes make for quite a good introduction, if somewhat hackneyed. Save historiography for later unless the essay is about historiography specifically. Do not say how you will make your argument unless it's a novel method. It makes you look naive. It is also unnecessary: your method is absolutely standard. For one thing, did you do your own primary research on the subject?

[Jay McConville]

Thanks for the advise guy's, I just scraped that intro it was terrible (3 in the morning job). Then wrote the essay then the intro like Kamc advised.

Thanks again,