Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
Hehe, go you! A sharper tongue definitely would help during the odd occasion when some immature person makes a comment about my size! I am glad this is getting rarer!
I'm curious, what do you actually mean by 'impress you'?
Basically, when I say 'impress', I mean, until I notice something attractive about their personality. I find lots of 'girly' things either a little irritating or just a plain turn off, not because its girly, but because its just 'weak'. It doesn't help when girls are a little hypocritical, because they would likely find these traits unattractive in a man (e.g. wanting to be protected or made to feel safe,expecting the guy to make the first move, expecting 'chivalrous' behaviour, uptight about sex, generally needing make up/fake tan/'sexy' clothes to increase confidence, obsessing over what other people think of them, loving attention/drama, trying to 'win' arguments/gain sympathy by crying - to name just an obvious few).
Until I start noticing things about a girl that go against those expectations, i'm not at all likely to see them in 'that way'. I'd rather expect the worst from a girl and slowly be impressed than expect the best and slowly be dissapointed.
Originally Posted by rhianna610
On the other hand, eveyone has their preferences lol, i'd never go out of my way to try to impress someone if they were put off by something silly like my height
If it makes you feel better, if I noticed someone was going out of their way to try and impress me, it'd be very likely counter-productive - it would reek of lack of self-confidence and need for approval, which obviously aren't very attractive traits. I've learned to tell just from the look of some girls that they are probably not worth the effort (in terms of g/f material), I guess i'm wondering if I need to add petiteness to the list - I mean, as a girl you probably have some idea of whether a guy is a player, 'rude boi' ,desperate, a wuss etc. and be put off by those traits (assuming you're not into those types of guys).
Originally Posted by rhianna610
I don't 'want' to be protected, but it happens anyway so I might as well enjoy it, there's no point in trying to fight it because then whoever you're dating will be offended/feel like they're not needed. It's just them showing they care as far as I can see.
Do you show you care about your boyfriends by trying to protect them?
What if a guy didn't try and protect you and expected you to be able to take care of yourself - would you be offended/upset?
Basically, when I say 'impress', I mean, until I notice something attractive about their personality. I find lots of 'girly' things either a little irritating or just a plain turn off, not because its girly, but because its just 'weak'. It doesn't help when girls are a little hypocritical, because they would likely find these traits unattractive in a man (e.g. wanting to be protected or made to feel safe,expecting the guy to make the first move, expecting 'chivalrous' behaviour, uptight about sex, generally needing make up/fake tan/'sexy' clothes to increase confidence, obsessing over what other people think of them, loving attention/drama, trying to 'win' arguments/gain sympathy by crying - to name just an obvious few).
Hmmm i'm guessing i'm not putting myself across very well ,so I apologise for that. Maybe I should start off differently. First of all, and i'm pretty sure you weren't accusing anyway, i'm not any of the things you described. I'm not girly in the slightest, not outwardly. Also don't wear make-up, never wear skirts, no tan etc etc, not that it's relevant, guess i'm trying to prove i'm not like that (although I am trying to win this argument...)
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
If it makes you feel better, if I noticed someone was going out of their way to try and impress me, it'd be very likely counter-productive - it would reek of lack of self-confidence and need for approval, which obviously aren't very attractive traits. I've learned to tell just from the look of some girls that they are probably not worth the effort (in terms of g/f material), I guess i'm wondering if I need to add petiteness to the list - I mean, as a girl you probably have some idea of whether a guy is a player, 'rude boi' ,desperate, a wuss etc. and be put off by those traits (assuming you're not into those types of guys).
Definitely not into those types of guys. Thre's no point trying to impress any guy really, if they like you it has to be for you, so I don't do that. I think that steering clear from a certain 'type' of girl is fine, although you may be missing out, but being short isn't something like attention seeking of fake tan that we choose, we're just born this way. So have most of the petite people you've met been like that? Just because I don't mind being protected (still not sure if that's the right word) doesn't mean I fall into a stereotypical girly-girl. In most aspects I might as well be a guy, according to friends lol, i'm really laid back about my relationship and it frustrates my boyfriend so much.
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
Do you show you care about your boyfriends by trying to protect them?
What if a guy didn't try and protect you and expected you to be able to take care of yourself - would you be offended/upset?
I wouldn't be offended I think, like I said, it's not something I need or wish for, it just happens to have been that way so far. I've tried to stand up for guys before and been told it's embarrassing for them, so no I don't, not really. I don't complain when they do it because it makes me feel cared about. Does this make any sense at all?
Hmmm i'm guessing i'm not putting myself across very well ,so I apologise for that. Maybe I should start off differently. First of all, and i'm pretty sure you weren't accusing anyway, i'm not any of the things you described. I'm not girly in the slightest, not outwardly. Also don't wear make-up, never wear skirts, no tan etc etc, not that it's relevant, guess i'm trying to prove i'm not like that (although I am trying to win this argument...)
Definitely not into those types of guys. Thre's no point trying to impress any guy really, if they like you it has to be for you, so I don't do that. I think that steering clear from a certain 'type' of girl is fine, although you may be missing out, but being short isn't something like attention seeking of fake tan that we choose, we're just born this way. So have most of the petite people you've met been like that? Just because I don't mind being protected (still not sure if that's the right word) doesn't mean I fall into a stereotypical girly-girl. In most aspects I might as well be a guy, according to friends lol, i'm really laid back about my relationship and it frustrates my boyfriend so much.
I wouldn't be offended I think, like I said, it's not something I need or wish for, it just happens to have been that way so far. I've tried to stand up for guys before and been told it's embarrassing for them, so no I don't, not really. I don't complain when they do it because it makes me feel cared about. Does this make any sense at all?
Sorry about the long post
All of this
I hate fake tan, I don't wear skirts apart from my school skirt and I only wear natural looking makeup, and I don't know anyone that doesn't.
You are assuming way WAY too much here (Thas).
Just because boys tend to get protective over us and we like that, it doesn't mean that we need protecting or seeking out someone protective. It also doesn't mean anything about being flirty or girly...
and also, I've also had this experience of standing up for a guy, being protective of him etc and he's either been very embarassed about it or got angry with me. Most men like to stand up for themselves and look after/out for their girlfriends. Regardless of height.
But also a lot of guys fall for "cute", "light" girls that they can pick up and these girls enjoy being picked up...I don't see anything wrong with it tbh.
I don't think I'd be offended if my boyfriend wasn't protective of me because tbf most of the time he's not, and he lets me go my own way. He's incredibly relaxed about things, he lets me fights my own battles, he never choses a side when I'm arguing with someone. It's more of a protective physical 'sense'. For example I wouldn't feel safe in town by myself at night, but I'd feel safe automatically if he was there with me. It doesn't mean I'd never go anywhere in town at night by myself, just that I'd feel unsafe doing so. Obviously there are risks whatever a girl's height, but someone I think a 6ft girl could probably fight back better against an average man than a 5ft girl
When I'm in a crowd and I can't see, he helps me, or if it's getting pretty rowdy, it's just nice to know he's there. I don't think he feels obliged to protect me at all , because of my height or otherwise, but I know that he enjoys doing so and it's just another way to appreciate each other I suppose.
First of all, and i'm pretty sure you weren't accusing anyway, i'm not any of the things you described. I'm not girly in the slightest, not outwardly. Also don't wear make-up, never wear skirts, no tan etc etc, not that it's relevant, guess i'm trying to prove i'm not like that (although I am trying to win this argument...)
You're right, I wasn't - but its nice to hear anyway.
Originally Posted by missaphrodite
I hate fake tan, I don't wear skirts apart from my school skirt and I only wear natural looking makeup, and I don't know anyone that doesn't.
Maybe working in nightclubs has biased my view -I can't deny the things i've seen... (though make up is make up to me).
Originally Posted by rhianna610
I wouldn't be offended I think, like I said, it's not something I need or wish for, it just happens to have been that way so far. I've tried to stand up for guys before and been told it's embarrassing for them, so no I don't, not really. I don't complain when they do it because it makes me feel cared about. Does this make any sense at all?
I can understand that a guy protecting you makes you feel cared about, because a guy wouldn't do it if he didn't care - but thats not saying a guy doesn't care if he doesn't do it (which in my experience is what most girls assume). The reason I would be offended if someone tried to stand up for me, is because even though it shows they care it also implies that person thinks that I can't stand up for myself (which I consider a virtue of sorts). So i'd feel disrespectful/patronizing towards anyone else if I tried to fight their battles, i'd also feel like i'm denying them the opportunity to develop their character/self-esteem/confidence - being able to stand up for yourself requires these traits, and standing up for yourself increases them.
So what I don't understand is how girls could just accept or even ignore the implication that they aren't capable of standing up for themselves. I'd find it hard not to assume a girl has a weak character, low confidence and low self esteem (and is just downright lazy) if she expected me to be anything more than 'emergency back up'.
Basically, why don't girls react like guys when someone tries to protect them?
Originally Posted by missaphrodite
I don't think I'd be offended if my boyfriend wasn't protective of me because tbf most of the time he's not, and he lets me go my own way. He's incredibly relaxed about things, he lets me fights my own battles, he never choses a side when I'm arguing with someone. It's more of a protective physical 'sense'.
Fair do's, I realise I am making broad generalisations here - but its only to make a point.
Originally Posted by rhianna610
I think that steering clear from a certain 'type' of girl is fine, although you may be missing out, but being short isn't something like attention seeking of fake tan that we choose, we're just born this way. So have most of the petite people you've met been like that?
Its not like I completely blank girls (usually...), just they can't be anything more than friends until I have seen they aren't 'silly little girls'. I know three petite girls at the most - ranging from one of the coolest people i've met to a serious ****** up psycho bitch. Maybe smaller girls are more likely to have extreme personalites?
However, I agree that its something a girl can't choose so thats why I never considered it - this thread is the first time i've specifically heard of small girls liking being protected (and one claim that if she was taller she probably wouldn't feel that way) and guys saying they like to protect small girls (It makes 'em feel 'useful'/'manly'? ). And apparently, small girls are statistically more likely to be found attractive to guys. Its all speculation I know, but it gives a certain impression.
Originally Posted by rhianna610
In most aspects I might as well be a guy, according to friends lol, i'm really laid back about my relationship and it frustrates my boyfriend so much.
Do you girls only exist in TSR land?
Originally Posted by missaphrodite
You are assuming way WAY too much here
Don't misunderstand - I don't think ALL girls (by nature or nurture) are desperate, attention seeking weaklings who don't believe they have the ability to be anything more than a pretty cum-dumpster - but the only people I have met like that (or a bit like that) are girls. Some of the things I posted earlier aren't considered typical 'girly' traits for no reason - society doesn't exactly encourage females to be self-sufficient and confident in the way i'm describing. I guess you could say I don't expect much from most people, but personal experience means I expect even less from women.
You're right, I wasn't - but its nice to hear anyway.
I can understand that a guy protecting you makes you feel cared about, because a guy wouldn't do it if he didn't care - but thats not saying a guy doesn't care if he doesn't do it (which in my experience is what most girls assume).
Actually, if i'm being honest, if I started seeing a guy and he didn't seem to care, then I would be a bit confused. Once I realised that was just the way his character was I don't think i'd mind though, especially as i'm very similar. It's just what i've gotten used to I think.
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
this thread is the first time i've specifically heard of small girls liking being protected (and one claim that if she was taller she probably wouldn't feel that way) and guys saying they like to protect small girls (It makes 'em feel 'useful'/'manly'? ). And apparently, small girls are statistically more likely to be found attractive to guys. Its all speculation I know, but it gives a certain impression.
I still stick to what I said, I do like the protected feeling, but like Miss Aphrodite said, because i'm small actually I might need protecting more than, say, a really tall girl would. So in a literal sense I do need it, or want it. I do think you might be right here in saying that it makes them feel more manly or whatever, (as a generalisation) men enjoy feeling like the masculine one, no guy I know wants a girlfriend more mannish than him! I don't feel patronized really though, because physically I am smaller than them. Also maybe it's an evolutionary thing? Women are naturally smaller and weaker, so we've got used to the male taking the 'protector' role. Btw, has it been proven, really? I've never heard that, I was just working from experience.
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
Maybe smaller girls are more likely to have extreme personalites?
Actually this is probably true all the ones i've met have been a bit mental in one way or another...
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
Do you girls only exist in TSR land?
Haha yes all the proper girls are out somewhere doing their make-up/clubbing/harrassing their overprotective boyfriends seriously though, what I said wasn't made up for this thread, the other day a guy friend of mine said 'you really are the man in your relationship aren't you?' because I don't get paranoid, I can't be bothered to text sometimes and I get annoyed if he phones/texts me what I consider to be too much.
Originally Posted by Thrasymachus
Some of the things I posted earlier aren't considered typical 'girly' traits for no reason - society doesn't exactly encourage females to be self-sufficient and confident in the way i'm describing. I guess you could say I don't expect much from most people, but personal experience means I expect even less from women.
I'm thinking maybe then it's up to us short ones to prove to you we're not all like the ones you've met, because we aren't. Just the fact that you've met someone you've said is cool proves that we are out there! I'm not assuming i'm cool by the way, i'm just not girly
Also i've cut bits out but tried not to misquote you
I do think you might be right here in saying that it makes them feel more manly or whatever, (as a generalisation) men enjoy feeling like the masculine one, no guy I know wants a girlfriend more mannish than him!
I do! Well, depends how you define it. Thing is i'm not big on gender stereotypes for either sex - I think I grew up in my own little fantasy world and always found it hard to understand why people are 'supposed' to act one way or another based on physical aspects they can't control - so i'm not fond on some male expectations either (being unecessarily aggressive, the idea that men love sex no matter the woman/situation - football ) because a lot of them (like female expectations) seem to basically lower a guys self esteem. I think thats why guys generally don't like girls who are more 'masculine' - because they've been taught that makes them somehow inadequate or a 'faliure'. To me its hard to get my head around 'masculine/feminine'. To me its all just ********.
Originally Posted by rhianna610
I don't feel patronized really though, because physically I am smaller than them. Also maybe it's an evolutionary thing? Women are naturally smaller and weaker, so we've got used to the male taking the 'protector' role. Btw, has it been proven, really? I've never heard that, I was just working from experience.
Girls just seemed to have got 'used to' a lot of things that I would interpret as a little demeaning. Oh and someone posted height/attraction statistics earlier, I just assumed they were true - nobody lies on the internet, right?
Originally Posted by rhianna610
I'm thinking maybe then it's up to us short ones to prove to you we're not all like the ones you've met, because we aren't. Just the fact that you've met someone you've said is cool proves that we are out there! I'm not assuming i'm cool by the way, i'm just not girly
*sigh* I know they are, but you girls (go on, i'll pretend you are cool) seem to be in the minority - and when you combine that with all the usual stuff thats important i.e. shared interests, they'd have to be single, straight (last two girls I really fancied turned out to be lesbians ), be attracted to me too etc. It just seems like an uphill battle and the fact that men seem to like small girls for all the 'wrong' reasons doesn't help either. Oh well, I'll get over it I suppose.
generally I find smaller girls hotter, I don't like anyone thats above my neck height near my face... freaks me out lol (I'm 6ft2)
Fair enough but I'd probably only come up to your waist
I kind of think it would be nice to be the same height as a guy, maybe 2 inches shorter? I'd never date anyone shorter than me, but that's easy because all I have to do is rule out midgets haha
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
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Re: Short petite women
A sharper tongue definitely would help during the odd occasion when some immature person makes a comment about my size! I am glad this is getting rarer!
(although I am trying to win this argument...)
