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Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:43 #1 
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Default how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
a friend asked me out last night and I said id think about it. what are the drawbacks and positives of doing it. How exactly do go from friends to a couple or will it come natural.
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Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:50 #2 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Well I think it mostly depends on if you feel the same way? You havent actually said if you do or not.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It should come naturally really, as with any other relationship.
 
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:50 #3 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
It allows you to feel confident and comfortable in the relationship, since you know them well already, and you obviously have shared interests to be friends in the first place, so that is a plus.

However I feel that getting to know someone is one of the most important aspects of an early relationship, so having already got past that stage, the relationship may not have the spark that others have at the start.

I'd say go for it, but make sure that if it doesn't work, it doesn't ruin the friendship, so don't rush in to the physical aspect.
 
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:52 #4 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
In my experience and from what i've seen, it can either be the basis for a really stong and great relationship, or it can become awkward and ruin the friendship. You dont exactly sound too enamored with this friend, which suggests going beyond the line of friendship probably isnt the best idea.
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:53 #5 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Pros-
-Easy, comfortable relationship

Cons-
-Seeing the person you used to play doctors and nurses in the sandbox with is... ermm... weird.
 
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:53 #6 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Originally Posted by JellyBean123
Well I think it mostly depends on if you feel the same way? You havent actually said if you do or not.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It should come naturally really, as with any other relationship.

I do

how will it come?
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:53 #7 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Well it depends if you like them as more than a friend? If so, then it should be fine. But...if you're needing to think about it so much, do you really like them enough to have a relationship with them?
But one positive is that you already know each other really well, and you already know that you enjoy spending time with them.
Just be careful, because if it doesn't work then it's hard to go back to being friends. I speak from experience - I lost a best friend this way!
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:55 #8 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Originally Posted by ash-corbett-collins
It allows you to feel confident and comfortable in the relationship, since you know them well already, and you obviously have shared interests to be friends in the first place, so that is a plus.

However I feel that getting to know someone is one of the most important aspects of an early relationship, so having already got past that stage, the relationship may not have the spark that others have at the start.

I'd say go for it, but make sure that if it doesn't work, it doesn't ruin the friendship, so don't rush in to the physical aspect.

were both very shy so getting know people is the hard part
I have no intention to get physical at least for afew months
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 13:57 #9 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Originally Posted by tikkitak
Well it depends if you like them as more than a friend? If so, then it should be fine. But...if you're needing to think about it so much, do you really like them enough to have a relationship with them?
But one positive is that you already know each other really well, and you already know that you enjoy spending time with them.
Just be careful, because if it doesn't work then it's hard to go back to being friends. I speak from experience - I lost a best friend this way!

I do like her

I couldnt stand losing her as a friend though
Old 09-02-2010: 9th February 2010 14:58 #10 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
Originally Posted by Anonymous
were both very shy so getting know people is the hard part
I have no intention to get physical at least for afew months

This might be the perfect match for you two then
 
Old 10-02-2010: 10th February 2010 00:16 #11 
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Default Re: how to handle change from friends to bf & gf
 
My current boyfriend and I went from friends to a couple. It was strange at first... I had small doubts, it was sometimes a bit awkward, I was worried in case it ruined our friendship etc. But after a week or 2 it started to feel more comfortable and before I knew it, I couldn't imagine it any other way. It's bound to feel odd at first but that goes away really quickly.

There are negatives though.. of course there's the chance it couldn't work out and you might lose a friend. Depending on how close you were as friends you could be burdened with the knowledge of their past relationships...for example, as friends we'd talk about sex and his at-the-time girlfriend etc - so now I know details about his past that a girlfriend just doesnt want to know!

Overall I think going from friends to more is a great thing, and worth the risk. Good luck!
 
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