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Lying about going to uni

First of all I'm not usually gullable and naive but I really feel like I am at this point. I've know this guy for three years and we've been really close friends. Too close. So close that every single person asks if we're an item. We did have a thing once but that's in the past. For a year now he's becoming increasingly overprotective and controlling but I kind of appreciate having someone there who cares about me so much.

Now he comes to my uni, commuting as it's fairly close by. But today infront of my friends he refused to enter the library, where a student card is needed on entry. I later found my friends searching his name on the uni database and it didn't come up. I dismissed this as merely a mistake in the system but now I think about it, things are starting to add up. I've made a list:

He is a student
- He tells me that he's just come out of his lecture and wants to meet
- He was allowed to have a day pass to the library for forgetting his card once, and they are only issued to students
- I have seen his work and notes he has made
- I have heard his friends while on the phone, walking to lectures with him

He isn't
- I have never actually seen him enter lectures
- Perhaps they don't check when issuing day passes (?)
- His work was law based and he's doing business and management
- He refuses to enter the library, but will go to the canteen where a uni card isn't needed
- He bought a bus pass for uni at £200 supposedly but tells me his mum keeps it from him. Instead he buys a £4 day rider everyday!
- No record of him on the uni database
- Becomes frustrated if I ask to see his card
- He mentioned today that he was thinking of dropping out and working full time

I know this is a long post and I apologise, but I feel like I really need some guidance as I'm completely lost and feel hopeless.

Reply 1

Mithra

2

I don't know how big your uni is but presumably you have lectures relatively close together? Ask to meet him one day right after a lecture and wait outside the room it should be in if you're really that worried, seems a lot of effort to go through just to be friends with you though :dontknow:

.

Reply 2

screenager2004

14

Maybe he was a student but has since been kicked out or failed?

Reply 3

Cloven Angel

12

I would imagine he would have a university email address, so email him(i'm guessing you know his full name after 3 years!)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Mithra

I don't know how big your uni is but presumably you have lectures relatively close together? Ask to meet him one day right after a lecture and wait outside the room it should be in if you're really that worried, seems a lot of effort to go through just to be friends with you though

.

My friend suggested the same thing. But it's come to the point that if it's true I really don't want to be around him. And yes, the uni isn't that big. He's the type of person that would lie endlessly for any reason. I have trouble understanding it myself :frown:

Reply 5

badgerkins

You can easily walk into a lecture without any proof that you are a student, well in my uni anyway.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Cloven Angel

I would imagine he would have a university email address, so email him(i'm guessing you know his full name after 3 years!)

Thats the thing, you can look up everyone's email address on the database. And his doesn't show up.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

screenager2004

Maybe he was a student but has since been kicked out or failed?

He's only just started this year, while I'm in 2nd year. I definately wouldn't be surprised if he's been kicked out of a lecture as he's the type to mess around. But he wouldn't be kicked out of uni for distrupting lecures I don't think...

Reply 8

screenager2004

14

Anonymous

He's only just started this year, while I'm in 2nd year. I definitely wouldn't be surprised if he's been kicked out of a lecture as he's the type to mess around. But he wouldn't be kicked out of uni for distrupting lecures I don't think...

Okay, either he is lying about his name, or he is lying about his uni status. But not appearing on the database is serious, even if he is being genuine, because it could mean he isn't formally enrolled or eligible to take exams etc.

So you should be like "Hey I was trying to find your email address on the Uni Website so I could send you a surprise email to you, and you weren't there! Let's go down to the office together and sort it out right now!"

Reply 9

wallflower*

11

Anonymous

Thats the thing, you can look up everyone's email address on the database. And his doesn't show up.

Maybe he is registered at the uni under a different name to the name you know him by? like if his parents got divorced or something he may legally be called 'joe bloggs' but publically go by the name 'joe smith'.
Also, if he is only in his first year maybe his information just isn't on the system yet?

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

wallflower*

Maybe he is registered at the uni under a different name to the name you know him by? like if his parents got divorced or something he may legally be called 'joe bloggs' but publically go by the name 'joe smith'.
Also, if he is only in his first year maybe his information just isn't on the system yet?

That can't be right, because I know for a fact he's registered under the same name.. he'd tell me otherwise - we chat everyday. And I thought of that too, but checked everyone I know who's started this year and they're on the system.

Reply 11

oodlesofpoodles

14

Are you usually this suspicious of your friends? I think you should just trust him. Seems like alot of trouble to go to, for (as far as I can see) no particular reason.

Reply 12

abcdefg56789

wallflower*

Maybe he is registered at the uni under a different name to the name you know him by? like if his parents got divorced or something he may legally be called 'joe bloggs' but publically go by the name 'joe smith'.
Also, if he is only in his first year maybe his information just isn't on the system yet?

wen I was at school I was known by my mother's maiden name when I was infact legally had my father's name, I changed it though

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

oodlesofpoodles

Are you usually this suspicious of your friends? I think you should just trust him. Seems like alot of trouble to go to, for (as far as I can see) no particular reason.

I'm never this suspicious! But he's a pathological liar and I've forgiven him in the past.. however this would be too far. And we're definately not ordinary friends.. he acts like a boyfriend. Basically there's some underlying issues with our relationship that I haven't mentioned...

Reply 14

Carpediemxx

17

might be embarassed of his student ID picture lol, a lot of people are funny about their cards!
Might be a liar, i know people who pretend to do certain courses to get girls and such or pretend to have done certain things and outright lie! Find out his next lecture and wait right outside the door for him

Reply 15

buyingtheticket

13

screenager2004

Okay, either he is lying about his name, or he is lying about his uni status. But not appearing on the database is serious, even if he is being genuine, because it could mean he isn't formally enrolled or eligible to take exams etc.

So you should be like "Hey I was trying to find your email address on the Uni Website so I could send you a surprise email to you, and you weren't there! Let's go down to the office together and sort it out right now!"

This OP and film it.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Carpediemxx

might be embarassed of his student ID picture lol, a lot of people are funny about their cards!
Might be a liar, i know people who pretend to do certain courses to get girls and such or pretend to have done certain things and outright lie! Find out his next lecture and wait right outside the door for him

That seems to be the most popular suggestion so I'll definitely do that on Monday. He did actually he didn't want me to make fun of his ID picture but come on, me and my friends have repeatedly asked to see it - any normal person would just give up and show it I reckon. So I think saying he's embarrassed is just an excuse...

Reply 17

xStaceyy

17

badgerkins

You can easily walk into a lecture without any proof that you are a student, well in my uni anyway.

this.
i bring my friends in all the time who don't go to university.
even so, it's quite suspicious.
ask his friends about it.

Reply 18

Josh93

11

Why would he pretend to be a student?
If he is lying and the sole motivation is to be closer to you then that's an amazing amount of effort to go to for very little benefit. If that is the case then you are either the single most amazing person to be around in the world or this guy is ridiculously crazy about you - in my opinion.

Reply 19

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

screenager2004

So you should be like "Hey I was trying to find your email address on the Uni Website so I could send you a surprise email to you, and you weren't there! Let's go down to the office together and sort it out right now!"

This is without a doubt the best plan. It's a perfectly normal thing to do to send random emails across the uni network- I send messages to my mates all the time when I'm checking my uni mail.

Lying about going to uni

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