The Student Room Group

GIRLS, answer this simple poll honestly, if you please :)

Poll

Which one are you?

If you're in a serious relationship with a guy and you have one or more other guys hitting on you, [who you know are into you], would you:

a) Bask in the attention they give you because it raises your confidence and makes you feel more attractive - but you wouldn't act on it

b) Do your best to distance yourself from them to avoid sending the wrong message - whilst staying friendly with them

c) Completely avoid them - because you don't want other guys coming after you except your boyfriend

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Reply 1
D) Tell them it's not appropriate. If they couldn't stop hitting on me, and didn't want to be just platonic friends, I'd cut the friendship off :smile:

I am used to a lot of banter in my friendships with males though.. So I'm not sure where the inappropriate line would be :holmes:
First I'd do b), then alawhisp's d) if they didnt get the message, then c) if they still wouldn't stop it.
Reply 3
Original post by Lil Piranha
First I'd do b), then alawhisp's d) if they didnt get the message, then c) if they still wouldn't stop it.


Exactly this :smile:
a)
I put C but it depends on how forward they're being. A simple compliment doesn't call for the chop-chop, however, if they make it obvious I tell 'em straight up because I'd rather be wrong about their intentions and appear up myself than not say anything and let them inadvertently diss my fella by trying it/waste their time.

I find basking in the ego boost to be low status behaviour and a telltale sign that your fella isn't satisfying your needs (which might not be his fault if you need validation from multiple boys).

As a rule I don't really hang out with any guy I have a history with, or anyone who knows I have a boyfriend and still tries it with me. No no no. Sprinkly clean slate is the way forward.
Reply 6
I chose C, because having people around that are into me could cause all sorts of problems - both for me and them. I wouldn't want to lead them on or give false hope. Also, I would feel pretty bad, because I don't like difficult situations. Better to keep things uncomplicated.

Compliments are fine. Hitting on me is absolutely not.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by An Aspiring Guy
If you're in a serious relationship with a guy and you have one or more other guys hitting on you, [who you know are into you], would you:

a) Bask in the attention they give you because it raises your confidence and makes you feel more attractive - but you wouldn't act on it

b) Do your best to distance yourself from them to avoid sending the wrong message - whilst staying friendly with them

c) Completely avoid them - because you don't want other guys coming after you except your boyfriend


B. - I don't believe it when girl says she will completely turn away from any male (or female) attention, because it does boost your confidence and there is nothing low about it.
However, I personally would not bask in it - the fact that they showed an interest in you is a sign that you're attractive to other men and it's a compliment initself.

I would never let another man touch me in a more intimate way, because I don't want any other man to touch me - if that happend I would tell him to piss off for sure.
Reply 8
a :wink:
Really depends what we are classing as 'hitting on' - mild flirting/banter is perfectly harmless, it it was 'I want to take you out, you look really hot today, why are you with your boyfriend' etc then I would tell them to back off. Most likely to stay friendly but avoid/ignore if they start to play up.
Reply 10
A or b.. Probably a
Reply 11
For me it would depend on who i was with, whether I was close friends with the other guy, if I knew them for years and just on how the relationships were going at the time.
Reply 12
I chose B, because that is what I have done when this has happened. Except, they knew from the beginning that I was in a loving relationship - so they kept things entirely appropriate, did not flirt or hit on me (but they did like me... they stupidly told my boyfriend this while drunk). I really liked them as a person, but it would just upset my boyfriend to know I was spending too much time talking to or hanging around with guys who liked me in that way. So I put some considerable distance, but stayed friendly.

But if they were actually hitting on me or flirting, it would be C. In fact that has happened before too, I had a friend I liked to talk to, he started flirting with me when he knew I was taken - I started to avoid them completely.

Also: C if they touch me... Generally my personality and the way I talk makes it clear that I'm not the flirty touchy feely kind of person, so everyone just knows not to. If they overstep that, they know what they're doing.
(edited 12 years ago)
voted for option c.

part of the minority. nice work
*pats self on back*
B, then D, then C.
Reply 15
C definately...if you're in a relationship you are obvs commited to that one person, why risk it all for a bit of attention!!
What if you had feelings for that person also? Say you'd liked them when you first met, but since ended up in a serious relationship with someone else. Would that affect your choices?
would choose A. i do A. so does my boyfriend. it's a nice boost. would never dream of acting on it.

but usually it's just general banter anyway, because nothing is taking seriously where i'm from, everyone flirts with everyone. it's seen as polite chit chat.
B then C then multiple homicide. ¬_¬
Reply 19
Original post by An Aspiring Guy

Original post by An Aspiring Guy
If you're in a serious relationship with a guy and you have one or more other guys hitting on you, [who you know are into you], would you:

a) Bask in the attention they give you because it raises your confidence and makes you feel more attractive - but you wouldn't act on it

b) Do your best to distance yourself from them to avoid sending the wrong message - whilst staying friendly with them

c) Completely avoid them - because you don't want other guys coming after you except your boyfriend


a :wink:

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