Very insecure about my height. 5ft8 and male

I don't want to go on and on about why, bu basically i'm 20 and i'm shorter than most guys i am friends with. It sucks.

Mostly because i don't have the confidence to get women, but also because my mate who is the same height can date/have **** buddies easily (they're hot too and always come around our flat, and make a lot of noise).

So yeah, i suck. But i want to become more confident... how?

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Reply 1

fivebyfive

That is not what I would call exceptionally small. Within the average range. I would not worry about it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by fivebyfive

That is not what I would call exceptionally small. Within the average range. I would not worry about it.

I know, it is within normal so people don't really point out that i'm short. But, it just feels like i'm inadequate. Like i'm not the tall, dark and handsome type of guy that girls want. Yet, by the fact that my mate is also the same height (a bit shorter even) it means that i feel that it is because my personality sucks. In general, no one knows, but inside my head i have very bad self esteem.

Reply 3

MrBlackwood

Original post by Anonymous

The only way to start to deal with it, is to realize there is nothing wrong. The average height for a Male in the UK is 5ft 9in, so you are NOT abnormally small. We all have aspects of are body that we don't like, for example, i'm 6ft, but i am incredibly skinny and look about 14. However, this doesn't stop me being able to go out, enjoy myself and possibly end up with a girl at the end of the night. Yes i hate it, but i have accepted there is nothing i can do at the moment because it is how my body is. You need to embrace the same attitude, you will realize you will become happier and more confident within yourself naturally from there on. PM me if you want to talk more :-)

Reply 4

Heyx

Some girls find shorter guys cuter y'know.

Reply 5

sil3nt_cha0s

Original post by Heyx

Some girls find shorter guys cuter y'know.

There's no need to lie to the OP to make him feel better. Pretty much every girl wants a tall guy. Certainly taller than them (usually by several inches if she wears heels often) and preferably 6 foot or more. That's the reality. And the OP is not at a stage where he has vast amounts of wealth or fame (otherwise a shorter height wouldn't be an issue). I'm guessing he's just a regular student.

OP, your best bet is to get down to the gym, hit the weights, get bigger and stronger so you have more of a presence around people and feel better about yourself. Make it your New Years resolution or something.

Reply 6

Ben_LiveYourDreams

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 5'8, and male, and have no issues!

Since you know someone who already achieves what you want, watch what he does.

I personally dress relatively loud but also try to be well presented (smell nice, shaven, do my hair abit funky).

I also do not fear rejection, infact I embrace it. It tell's me what not to do, and who not to speak to. Each one brings me closer to finding that perfect girl.

I also try my hardest to appear outwardly confident and fun to be with, always smiling, laughing, joking around, as to me, these are attractive personality traits!

Good luck!

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

I agree, most girls do like taller guys. That doesn't mean they don't like shorter guys or that shorter guys can't date hot girls.

As a girl, I honestly prefer taller guys but that isn't the be all and end all to a relationship. The guy I'm dating is around 5'8 or 5'9 (no idea tbh) and I really love him!

The average woman is a lot shorter than 5'8 and I would consider dating any guy taller than me. (I'm 5'5)

If a guy was shorter than me I would initially be less attracted to him, but if he had other qualities that I found attractive I would still consider dating him.

You're not short and I wouldn't worry about it.

Also, don't get 'short man syndrome' where a man thinks he is short and feels like he has to compensate to make up for it all the time, acts like a dick, etc

Reply 8

Procerus

I too have noticed a lot of tall guys at uni i wonder why i only see them at uni though

Reply 9

mycodenameis:rosie

being 5' 8'' is no reason to be unsuccessful with women.

Reply 10

Ben_LiveYourDreams

Original post by sil3nt_cha0s

Completely disagree.

I know girls who have said that they prefer to have a 'tall guy', then dated me, because I offered them a sense of security, as well as someone to have a laugh with.

Even before Tom Cruise was famous, he would walk into a room, and dominate it with his intensity and confidence, which make him seem far taller then he is.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

I'm a guy, I'm 5'3. I consider you very lucky. Put yourself in my shoes :frown:

But i just get on with it as there is nothing i can do.

Reply 12

tom177

OP, most girls are smaller than you....thats a fact. The average height for girls in the UK, is 5,5....so you still got a few inches on them. It's only when they put on their heels that they'll be taller than you. So here's a solution.......talk to girls during the day or at events when they aren't dressing to impressin (Yes I did just say that haha). Plus during the day, most girls don't wear heels, so just talk to them, make them smile/laugh and soon they'll realise even though there taller than you with heels, that won't matter because your a catch!
If you show your insecurities, it's a major turn off. Have a **** it attitude! Some girls won't go out with you simply because they want to wear heels and still be smaller than their man, (But why would you want to go out with a shallow person anyways?!) If you find a girl who truly likes who, she won't care about the height. (as long as shes smaller than you to start of with)
Final solution, only talk to really small girls, as they may help your chance's!

Btw OP, im 5,8 too :wink:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 13

equi-book-mad

I'm a girl and under 5'3....you seem rather tall, I don't base anything on height, your heights isn't that small, I'm sure theres someone else out there for you!

Reply 14

Lucia.

5ft 8" is fine. I mean isn't the average height for a woman about 5ft 4"? My dad is 5ft 8 and my mum is taller than him. I'm sure there'll be someone for you OP.

Reply 15

Harley

I don't see anything wrong with your height OP, while most girls prefer going out with a guy who'se taller than them, that shouldn't be a problem at 5'8", hell, even a guy who was 5'3" would be taller than me!

Reply 16

AkDo

Original post by Anonymous

You're definitely not that short! Be happy with who you are and just get out there without giving a damn about your height or anything you don't like about yourself. Honestly, the less attention you bring to it the less anyone will even notice it.

Reply 17

SweetsAndSugar

5ft 8 isn't exactly short. It's below average for a guy... but only by 2 inches. You're taller than most girls, so I doubt you'll feel 'demasculinated' or whatever (average height for a girl is 5ft 4) and honestly, if a girl likes you, she won't care that she's not hanging off the arm of the tallest guy in the room, and if she does care, she's not worth your time.
I'm a tall girl (at just over 5ft 9) and wouldn't hesitate in dating a guy a bit shorter than me if I liked him. :smile:

Reply 18

Smeggles

I'm 5'8, and get called smurf from my boyfriend, shorty etc. as a bit of a joke. Cos, yes it isn't SHORT, but it is compared to most other lads and some girls (especially when they wear heels.. oh damn them and their heels!) I used to feel very self-concious and quite down about it, especially since most of my friends are all in the 5'10/'11 range.. but d'you know what? It doesn't matter. Those three simple words really need to resonate. Laugh it off. Forget it. Move on. There's worst things in life, and you can't change your height, so why fret over it?

Oh, also.. short people apparently live longer. If you're short and suicidal about it, I guess that's awful news, but if you're short and have a fair appreciation of life; Wehey!

Reply 19

QwentyJ

Well, your mate who is the same as you is doing well, so it's clearly not affecting him. Height sort of does and doesn't matter. I agree that it's crazy that it is a dating preference, but like others have said, it hasn't stopped other people of similar stature. You need to be a lot more positive, so try taking some self-esteem classes.