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Depression Society MKVI

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Original post by FuzzySheep
Mum has forgiven my dad. For all the abuse and bullying. She just left me. I'm now loving with my aunt and uncle indefinitely, I'm not going to be there to witness what happens for another 2468289995431 times. I thought she'd learnt.


:hugs::hugs: Not much else I can say, but hope you are ok

Original post by Sabertooth

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Original post by Cinnie
New account (am cinamon)

Struggling so much tbh


:hugs: here as well as Back Room. If you want someone to PM or talk to here, feel free to PM/post to me
Original post by rmhumphries
x


How are you?
Just want to put this out here, since it's got nowhere else to go, and I need to let it out...
Right now, I feel like utter ****. Basically, like it'll be impossible for me to ever make new friends or have a relationship because I'm so ****ing weird and ugly. I hate myself. Properly hate myself. I see myself and I just want to kill me. I won't ever commit suicide though, I couldn't do that to my mum. Although, at times, the idea seems like absolute bliss.
If I had the chance to start again, I'd take it with both hands.
The thing is, I so desperately want to change. It's just so hard, and no matter how hard I try, I can't manage it. I try to be the person I'd like, or like to be. But it never works. I think that's why I detest myself so much - I fail. I never reach the standards I set for myself. I never work hard enough, I never do well enough, I never try enough.
I'm just a failure, and I'm ugly to boot.
I need to go to sleep now, I have school in the morning. But I'm just too exhausted to move. I've felt like this for so long, I feel like it's taken all the strength out of my muscles.
I guess I'll try anyway.
Thanks to anyone who bothers to read this, and I'm sorry for my pathetic whining - I just needed this to go somewhere.
G'night.
Been taking the citalopram for nearly a week now, friend has warned me things may get worse before they get better. Mostly just been sleeping, taking it easy with uni work.

So just generally feeling a bit out of it at the moment I guess :redface:
Original post by DoubleNegative
x


It's good that you want to change for the better, but maybe you're setting your standards too high? Start small, and the little accomplishments will pay off.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder :smile:
Original post by misst911
It's good that you want to change for the better, but maybe you're setting your standards too high? Start small, and the little accomplishments will pay off.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder :smile:


Probably haha, it's a tendency of mine. I'll give it a go though, thank you. I'll try and figure out that goal tomorrow, when I'm properly awake.

And thanks again, you made me smile a little. I forgot about that little saying. I hope it holds true for September. :smile:
Original post by Sabertooth

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great, cause of the snow the campus shop had no food as people panic bought, no milk either :frown:

and none of the takeaways deliver atm either, I am starving ffs, haven't eaten all day :frown: all I have in the freezer is fish fingers which am really not in mood for...
Original post by SciFiBoy
great, cause of the snow the campus shop had no food as people panic bought, no milk either :frown:

and none of the takeaways deliver atm either, I am starving ffs, haven't eaten all day :frown: all I have in the freezer is fish fingers which am really not in mood for...


I would feed you if you were here but skint lol.

Thats the good thing about being in Scotland, the 24 hour supermarkets are 24 hours.

Havent had the slighest bit of snow here at all this winter but it has been cold.
Original post by drbluebox
I would feed you if you were here but skint lol.

Thats the good thing about being in Scotland, the 24 hour supermarkets are 24 hours.

Havent had the slighest bit of snow here at all this winter but it has been cold.


ah, is okay, finally found a takeaway that delivers :biggrin: have to pay extra for delivery tonight but tbh that's fair enough, need food!
It is hard to draw the line between where you are managing to help people - and where you are hurting them. If you don't say if you are upset, and they find out, it hurts them more, but it is awful to hurt people you care about by saying that you are down / especially if they are partly to blame.
Reply 1251
Ok I can't go in for this exam.
Not sure who to contact at uni.
Need to go drs.
My mum hates me and has just made me feel worse.
Someone tell me I'm doing the right thing?
Going there and failing will put me off the rest of the yr
Doing it in summer will help give me time to recover
How do I say this to GP? Someone help me :-(
I can't keep going like this. Family want me to quit my job but then I have to admit defeat. There are also many cliques here and I'm very wary of people. Don't know what to do.
I didn't get the job I was interviewed for on Saturday :frown: I know it was a super competitive thing and only half of the people there were kept but it still kinda sucks.

So I guess my summer will be spent trekking to as many music festivals as possible with my tent on my back and bank card in hand :biggrin: Would have been nice to be actually _employed_ though I suspect I'd have been knocked out at the individual interview stage anyway.
Original post by ParadoxSocks
I didn't get the job I was interviewed for on Saturday :frown: I know it was a super competitive thing and only half of the people there were kept but it still kinda sucks.

So I guess my summer will be spent trekking to as many music festivals as possible with my tent on my back and bank card in hand :biggrin: Would have been nice to be actually _employed_ though I suspect I'd have been knocked out at the individual interview stage anyway.


sorry to hear you didn't get the job, just remember though, is there loss! just tell yourself you were too good for them if they don't appreciate you anyway :wink: :hugs:

that sounds like a fun summer :smile: never been to much music live, hope you have fun :h:
Original post by Honeyx
Ok I can't go in for this exam.
Not sure who to contact at uni.
Need to go drs.
My mum hates me and has just made me feel worse.
Someone tell me I'm doing the right thing?
Going there and failing will put me off the rest of the yr
Doing it in summer will help give me time to recover
How do I say this to GP? Someone help me :-(


If you absolutely know you can't do the exam, then there's no point beating yourself up about it. :hugs: Your personal tutor should know who to tell.
Original post by superwolf

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Original post by rmhumphries

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Thanks guys, I guess it doesn't hurt to submit what I've done. Really not in the mood to proof read I'll just give in whatever's written.




Went to the hospital, they refused to see me, say I need a referral so then I waited 2 hours at the GP before getting seen. God knows when I'm going to finally get the hospital referral, knowing my luck probably weeks and I'll be blind by then. What do they care, it's only sight.

Oh and the GP doesn't think it was caused by the drugs and responded by increasing the dose of one of them. This worries me a lot. I'm gonna take it because I can't deal with these voices but I'm still worried.

And I couldn't get sleeping pills or diazepam. To be fair, I wouldn't prescribe them to me either but the principle of the matter is still there.

Feeling so ****. Wish they would shut up and let me live my life. Going to pick up the prescription was a nightmare, everyone staring and spying and talking and laughing. It's not real is it? It certainly feels and looks and sounds real. You know, I don't think I care, if they want to spy on me, let them, I'm not sure how long I'm going to be here anyway, so they can go to hell.
Original post by SciFiBoy
sorry to hear you didn't get the job, just remember though, is there loss! just tell yourself you were too good for them if they don't appreciate you anyway :wink: :hugs:

that sounds like a fun summer :smile: never been to much music live, hope you have fun :h:


I did it last year and I loved it. Terrified my parents and girlfriend to be travelling and living with strangers for a week at a time but it was such a great way for me to recover from everything. I usually do a couple of paid festivals (about £250 for the week) to pay for my unpaid ones so it almost breaks even. They usually feed you and you have everything pretty much on-site (portashowers were a delightful experience last year) so all I do is pay for the train ticket, put my tent up and settle in for the week :biggrin: I miss a few bands at a few of the festivals but I'm usually working in the arena or close to the arena to run in and catch any of my major favourite bands.

Hoping to get some bar work at a few of this years festivals - that's like the holy grail of festival volunteering!
Cancelling my doctor's appointment after realising I'd need a TARDIS to get there. Is it acceptable to skip a lecture? So tired. Feeling so low again today :frown:
Original post by ParadoxSocks
I did it last year and I loved it. Terrified my parents and girlfriend to be travelling and living with strangers for a week at a time but it was such a great way for me to recover from everything. I usually do a couple of paid festivals (about £250 for the week) to pay for my unpaid ones so it almost breaks even. They usually feed you and you have everything pretty much on-site (portashowers were a delightful experience last year) so all I do is pay for the train ticket, put my tent up and settle in for the week :biggrin: I miss a few bands at a few of the festivals but I'm usually working in the arena or close to the arena to run in and catch any of my major favourite bands.

Hoping to get some bar work at a few of this years festivals - that's like the holy grail of festival volunteering!


hehe, cool, is good you met some nice people and stuff yeah, must be fun if you enjoy all the music!

neat, good luck :smile:

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