Firstly I'm a guy. 19. I have a lovely girlfriend. Have had previous girlfriends and have had several "interactions" with others. I think that should just put things to bed, I should just man up and deal with this, but I don't know if I can.
I'm obsessed with my appearance. But I cant really come up with what is wrong, I just look in the mirror and hate what I see, I don't like anything.
The only exception for this is when the lighting is slightly dim (My house/Bars/Night) when I'm freshly showered, well groomed and dressed well. This is the only time I feel good looking and I'm like a different person.
So after an overly bad morning of worrying about my looks I googled BDD and after reading through the symptoms I think I may have it.
I suppose this would be my list...
Anxiety where I can't think straight at all.
I only feel comfortable at night or in dim places.
I always pick at my face and feel it to try and like gauge symmetry.
I worry that if it wasn't for having a good career with good money I would be completely worthless. Strong belief that looks are everything.
I get self concious a lot.
It causes problems with my girlfriend. I hate going out in the day with her as I dont feel good enough.
What I see in the mirror varies.
I'm always comparing myself to others.
I'm always looking for new flaws in myself.
I'm always looking for some form of validation.
I spend too much of my time worrying about how I look, researching what is good looking and what is not and looking back over my life to determine how I look.
When I'm not worrying I'm on a mission for improvement. Gym, always grooming, buying new clothes.
I don't feel fun and happy, my fun comes from them moments when I feel good looking and get validation from others.
At worst I get angry and hit things.
So yeah after actually typing that out its shocked me a little. What should I do? Should I get help?
As someone who suffers with BDD, I would strongly advise you going to your doctor. For me, it got to the point where far from constantly checking my appearance and retouching my make up every five minutes, I was smashing mirrors with my fists and bursting into tears every time I accidentally saw a reflection of myself, and it's ultimately been the cause of much worse things that I now have to deal with and overcome in my life. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, and if you nip it in the bud now, you'll be doing yourself a world of favours in the future.