becomin an 'f buddy'

i've been seeing this guy for the last month. initially i wasn't really sure where it was going. i slept with him on the first date, which i don't regret. seen him quite a few times since, and generally we sleep together. it used to be on the pretense of going for dinner, but more recently, we've just been texting each other blatently just for sex. We do go for dinner first, then end up in bed afterwards.

i've realised i've just become a booty call really, and i'm not really sure how i think about it. i really like him, he's a nice guy and the sex is great. but there's no way this could be a relationship anyway. we have nothing in common, sometimes we totally misunderstand what the other person is saying.

i've never been the one to go for casual sex, my other encounters have all been in boyfriend relationships. so this is quite unfamiliar to me, and i'm not sure what i think of myself and this whole situation.

another confounding factor is that some other work colleagues have found out, and it's already got back to me that people have been gossiping that we've been sleeping together. that's actually probably the main thing that is making me question this.

any advice?

Reply 1

Above.The.Empyrean

If you enjoy it, carry on. Life's too short to worry about who else cares what you do. If the coitus is vivacious, you're heading on the the perfect path. GL GL GL!

Reply 2

HP15

If you swallow his load with enthusiasm he will Gf you.

Reply 3

PraxxtorCruel

13

Original post by HP15

If you swallow his load with enthusiasm he will Gf you.

I LOL'd.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

anyone with any sensible advice?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Above.The.Empyrean

If you enjoy it, carry on. Life's too short to worry about who else cares what you do. If the coitus is vivacious, you're heading on the the perfect path. GL GL GL!

thanks. i know i shouldn't worry about what other people think. but i worry i should be doing this at all...

Reply 6

Glow in the dark

14

Original post by Anonymous

thanks. i know i shouldn't worry about what other people think. but i worry i should be doing this at all...

Of course you should if you're having fun. But if your feelings get too involved it could end up messy. If you know it's not going anywhere and you do really like him then you might have to stop or carry on at your own expense . If you can control your emotions carry on

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Glow in the dark

Of course you should if you're having fun. But if your feelings get too involved it could end up messy. If you know it's not going anywhere and you do really like him then you might have to stop or carry on at your own expense . If you can control your emotions carry on

ever since i found out that people hve been talking about it, i've started to think about respect. and the fact he probably doesn't respect me. i did think about it when i first started this whole thing, but at the time, i wanted the sex just as much as he did, so i didn't care. i'm not saying i don't want sex with him now, but this 'respect' thing is playing more heavily on my mind.

Reply 8

Glow in the dark

14

Original post by Anonymous

ever since i found out that people hve been talking about it, i've started to think about respect. and the fact he probably doesn't respect me. i did think about it when i first started this whole thing, but at the time, i wanted the sex just as much as he did, so i didn't care. i'm not saying i don't want sex with him now, but this 'respect' thing is playing more heavily on my mind.

I wouldn't worry about what people are talking about don't worry about what they are saying enjoy yourself, the main concern I would have is that you said you like the guy. And the worst possible scenario would be that you end up falling for him and I'm sure you don't want that unless it's mutual. If you think this could happen / is happening I'd call a halt to the sex

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Glow in the dark

I wouldn't worry about what people are talking about don't worry about what they are saying enjoy yourself, the main concern I would have is that you said you like the guy. And the worst possible scenario would be that you end up falling for him and I'm sure you don't want that unless it's mutual. If you think this could happen / is happening I'd call a halt to the sex

well i like him. but i dont' want a relationship with him. at the beginning, i don't know why, but he kept telling me about all the girls he's cheated on, how he doesn't call girls back after sleeping with them. maybe he was trying to put me off wanting a relationship with him. but honestly, we have totally different senses of humour, after a while, his chat does become boring, and i think he thinks the same about me. but the reason i keep seeing him is he is pretty charismatic most of the time and the sex is really good... that sounds awful doesn't it!!

Reply 10

PraxxtorCruel

13

Original post by Anonymous

well i like him. but i dont' want a relationship with him. at the beginning, i don't know why, but he kept telling me about all the girls he's cheated on, how he doesn't call girls back after sleeping with them. maybe he was trying to put me off wanting a relationship with him. but honestly, we have totally different senses of humour, after a while, his chat does become boring, and i think he thinks the same about me. but the reason i keep seeing him is he is pretty charismatic most of the time and the sex is really good... that sounds awful doesn't it!!

Want respect? Should've thought of that long time ago. Just keep doing what you're doing, you've already bought yourself the name.

Reply 11

Glow in the dark

14

Original post by Anonymous

well i like him. but i dont' want a relationship with him. at the beginning, i don't know why, but he kept telling me about all the girls he's cheated on, how he doesn't call girls back after sleeping with them. maybe he was trying to put me off wanting a relationship with him. but honestly, we have totally different senses of humour, after a while, his chat does become boring, and i think he thinks the same about me. but the reason i keep seeing him is he is pretty charismatic most of the time and the sex is really good... that sounds awful doesn't it!!

Well if that's the case there's no problem, have fun and keep getting laid. Win. YOLO

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

What the ... :eek:

you're not that girl are you?!?

Was seeing a lovely girl in a similar situation, who really liked me. Friends set us up, I didn't particularly mind the idea of exploring what we could have in common, so just went with it - we had sex on the first date, and have been sneaking behind our friends back for about a week, mostly under pre tenses we met up to sleep with each other, Truth is even though our values were alike, we just couldn't be seen dating by and co-workers. She knows that too.

Being really busy usually and career focused, sleeping around visibly drained my time - as such I'm not going do anymore stuff before she gets too attached or hurt..

Unless its a meaningful relationship you see something in return, I would probably leave it.

Reply 13

pinkangelgirl

15

just be careful you dont get emotionally attached

Reply 14

Jessica20

4

Respect doesnt have anything to do with it if both of you enjoy the sex together, its not like youre sleeping with numerous amount of men. If anyone is offended by you sleeping with someone then so what - its none of their business? You live life how you want to enjoy it, no one is getting hurt and the two of you are having fun together.

Im with you on that you dont like him all that much. I used to see this guy who was just not my type at all, none of my friends or family knew about us i wouldnt even be seen dead with him, but because the sex with him was really good we would meet every few days, sometimes every day. That lasted a few months until i found a boyfriend.

The f buddy relationship is often no where near as nice as a loving relationship. But when you're single you want sex... f buddies are the best way to go about it as its safer than one night stands and its often more fun than masturbating. You are effectivly 'using' each other that is all it is. The only problem is the emotion of when one of you falls in love due to so much sharing of intimacy brings from sex and kissing, the other person senses it so he/she decides to end the relationship, the person in love is then heart broken.

As long as you're on some form of birth control then theres nothing wrong with having a f buddy if both of you are enjoying the sex. Dont rely on condoms either, if having regular sex you might get a condom split/slip or the situation may happen when theres no condom anywhere you get tempted to risk sex without one, or if he feels he loves you he might take the condom off without you knowing when changing positions just to try get you pregnant, ive had that happen once. Personally i hate condoms i dont use them with boyfriends or f buddies.

Reply 15

Cj-Tj

15

Original post by Anonymous

ever since i found out that people hve been talking about it, i've started to think about respect. and the fact he probably doesn't respect me. i did think about it when i first started this whole thing, but at the time, i wanted the sex just as much as he did, so i didn't care. i'm not saying i don't want sex with him now, but this 'respect' thing is playing more heavily on my mind.

Original post by Jessica20

Respect doesnt have anything to do with it if both of you enjoy the sex together, its not like youre sleeping with numerous amount of men. If anyone is offended by you sleeping with someone then so what - its none of their business? You live life how you want to enjoy it, no one is getting hurt and the two of you are having fun together.

Im with you on that you dont like him all that much. I used to see this guy who was just not my type at all, none of my friends or family knew about us i wouldnt even be seen dead with him, but because the sex with him was really good we would meet every few days, sometimes every day. That lasted a few months until i found a boyfriend.

The f buddy relationship is often no where near as nice as a loving relationship. But when you're single you want sex... f buddies are the best way to go about it as its safer than one night stands and its often more fun than masturbating. You are effectivly 'using' each other that is all it is. The only problem is the emotion of when one of you falls in love due to so much sharing of intimacy brings from sex and kissing, the other person senses it so he/she decides to end the relationship, the person in love is then heart broken.

As long as you're on some form of birth control then theres nothing wrong with having a f buddy if both of you are enjoying the sex. Dont rely on condoms either, if having regular sex you might get a condom split/slip or the situation may happen when theres no condom anywhere you get tempted to risk sex without one, or if he feels he loves you he might take the condom off without you knowing when changing positions just to try get you pregnant, ive had that happen once. Personally i hate condoms i dont use them with boyfriends or f buddies.

This is probably the best advice you will get, and has saved me a lot of typing. I have a f-buddy and have total respect for her. Why not? Shes a nice girl who I get along well with and we have a lot of fun together. Life is short, so enjoy what makes you happy without worrying about other people. I think in this day and age the whole 'losing respect' for a girl if shes enjoying herself has pretty much gone, except among the older generations. Among the younger people, its mainly jealousy or just a bit of work place gossip. So what is Hannah from reception is shagging Keith from accounts? In many workplace environments thats the best gossip in months.....

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Jessica20

Respect doesnt have anything to do with it if both of you enjoy the sex together, its not like youre sleeping with numerous amount of men. If anyone is offended by you sleeping with someone then so what - its none of their business? You live life how you want to enjoy it, no one is getting hurt and the two of you are having fun together.

Im with you on that you dont like him all that much. I used to see this guy who was just not my type at all, none of my friends or family knew about us i wouldnt even be seen dead with him, but because the sex with him was really good we would meet every few days, sometimes every day. That lasted a few months until i found a boyfriend.

The f buddy relationship is often no where near as nice as a loving relationship. But when you're single you want sex... f buddies are the best way to go about it as its safer than one night stands and its often more fun than masturbating. You are effectivly 'using' each other that is all it is. The only problem is the emotion of when one of you falls in love due to so much sharing of intimacy brings from sex and kissing, the other person senses it so he/she decides to end the relationship, the person in love is then heart broken.

As long as you're on some form of birth control then theres nothing wrong with having a f buddy if both of you are enjoying the sex. Dont rely on condoms either, if having regular sex you might get a condom split/slip or the situation may happen when theres no condom anywhere you get tempted to risk sex without one, or if he feels he loves you he might take the condom off without you knowing when changing positions just to try get you pregnant, ive had that happen once. Personally i hate condoms i dont use them with boyfriends or f buddies.