girl 24 years old-no social life:(

Hi

i am 24 years old a university student in my final year,
This thread is going to sound all of a mish mash

i am a good looking girl with a good figure etc, i'm quite a mature person, i know what i want in life and i'm confident and very independant,a kind person/bubbly/gsoh/canbe abit of a joker/cheeky.....

but dont seem to find the right guy, am sick of being in relationships where i know i cant be with them long term. Yet guys still wana meet up and i think whats the point. I've always been the one to walk away from the guy when i start to realise itsnot going to work long term

At uni i keep myself to myself mainly because half the people inmy class are hardly there or they are immature and not my type of people to hang with,i feel down half the time not having many friends around me at uni, yes i do have friends but there is no social life,i'm sick of having those friends who are there 1 minute and dissappear the next(whats the point keeping in touch then when you make the effort and they dont) i have 1 close friend in my class who has a disability and uses 1crutch and a carer to help her around uni, its no fun if i go out with her and her carer or her sister are there with her , also she is like 22 and we have different ways of thinking and i can't tell her everything as she does blurt stuff out, also going from 1building to other she wouldnt half the time so i'd be going around on my own

i do focus on my degree more but when i look around and everyone either are in groups or with a few friends laughing away, going out doing what friends do, it gets to me knowing that i barely have friends who are really there for me and around me.
it certainly gets me down and feeling depressed and then makes me cry.
my sisters and brother all seem to have friends around them i dont get why i feel left out:'(

i joined some social group 1year back and that way i got to know a few people but then did not keep in touch as i chose my uni work over being in that group.

i have 4 months until i graduate makes me think will i have anyone around me except my own family?
i sometimes cry when i get in bed just thinking why i dont have many ppl around me,i actually feel like a loner! but when i'm out and about or around uni i'm just myself and an individual person who either does shopping alone,goes around uni alone etc it starts to get to me when u see little or big groups hanging out, and i just seem to be walking around alone.

i'd rather go out with some friends to eat/cinemas/bowling/ for walks/shopping/sleep overs/go on holiday even! etc things you would do with friends but its not happening and i dont understand myself why. it really brings me down and gets me frustrated.

i'm sick of being like a loner :frown:

i actually feel better writing this out! :smile:

is it just me who feels like this anyone else? please do reply

sorry if this hasn't made sense lol nearly 2.30am and i'm on here writing about myself!

Thank you for reading :smile:

Reply 1

NDE

Original post by cheekygal

Hi

i am 24 years old a university student in my final year,
This thread is going to sound all of a mish mash

i am a good looking girl with a good figure etc, i'm quite a mature person, i know what i want in life and i'm confident and very independant,a kind person/bubbly/gsoh/canbe abit of a joker/cheeky.....

but dont seem to find the right guy, am sick of being in relationships where i know i cant be with them long term. Yet guys still wana meet up and i think whats the point. I've always been the one to walk away from the guy when i start to realise itsnot going to work long term

At uni i keep myself to myself mainly because half the people inmy class are hardly there or they are immature and not my type of people to hang with,i feel down half the time not having many friends around me at uni, yes i do have friends but there is no social life,i'm sick of having those friends who are there 1 minute and dissappear the next(whats the point keeping in touch then when you make the effort and they dont) i have 1 close friend in my class who has a disability and uses 1crutch and a carer to help her around uni, its no fun if i go out with her and her carer or her sister are there with her , also she is like 22 and we have different ways of thinking and i can't tell her everything as she does blurt stuff out, also going from 1building to other she wouldnt half the time so i'd be going around on my own

i do focus on my degree more but when i look around and everyone either are in groups or with a few friends laughing away, going out doing what friends do, it gets to me knowing that i barely have friends who are really there for me and around me.
it certainly gets me down and feeling depressed and then makes me cry.
my sisters and brother all seem to have friends around them i dont get why i feel left out:'(

i joined some social group 1year back and that way i got to know a few people but then did not keep in touch as i chose my uni work over being in that group.

i have 4 months until i graduate makes me think will i have anyone around me except my own family?
i sometimes cry when i get in bed just thinking why i dont have many ppl around me,i actually feel like a loner! but when i'm out and about or around uni i'm just myself and an individual person who either does shopping alone,goes around uni alone etc it starts to get to me when u see little or big groups hanging out, and i just seem to be walking around alone.

i'd rather go out with some friends to eat/cinemas/bowling/ for walks/shopping/sleep overs/go on holiday even! etc things you would do with friends but its not happening and i dont understand myself why. it really brings me down and gets me frustrated.

i'm sick of being like a loner :frown:

i actually feel better writing this out! :smile:

is it just me who feels like this anyone else? please do reply

sorry if this hasn't made sense lol nearly 2.30am and i'm on here writing about myself!

Thank you for reading :smile:

Hi,
I'm 25 from the USA coming to uni in England in Sept. I feel I know how you feel and that I can relate in some ways. I come from a city where the women want guys that look, act, and talk like thugs. This is a conflict since i am in most ways a proper gentleman. I have been far too focused on work and school to look for a relationship and in that respect i can relate to you.
I'm hoping to find more people like me in England.

Just thought you could use some company on this thread from someone in your boat. Cheer up, your not the only one out there that feels as you do.

Reply 2

JustAGoodLAD

9

Original post by cheekygal

Hi

i am 24 years old a university student in my final year,
This thread is going to sound all of a mish mash

i am a good looking girl with a good figure etc, i'm quite a mature person, i know what i want in life and i'm confident and very independant,a kind person/bubbly/gsoh/canbe abit of a joker/cheeky.....

but dont seem to find the right guy, am sick of being in relationships where i know i cant be with them long term. Yet guys still wana meet up and i think whats the point. I've always been the one to walk away from the guy when i start to realise itsnot going to work long term

At uni i keep myself to myself mainly because half the people inmy class are hardly there or they are immature and not my type of people to hang with,i feel down half the time not having many friends around me at uni, yes i do have friends but there is no social life,i'm sick of having those friends who are there 1 minute and dissappear the next(whats the point keeping in touch then when you make the effort and they dont) i have 1 close friend in my class who has a disability and uses 1crutch and a carer to help her around uni, its no fun if i go out with her and her carer or her sister are there with her , also she is like 22 and we have different ways of thinking and i can't tell her everything as she does blurt stuff out, also going from 1building to other she wouldnt half the time so i'd be going around on my own

i do focus on my degree more but when i look around and everyone either are in groups or with a few friends laughing away, going out doing what friends do, it gets to me knowing that i barely have friends who are really there for me and around me.
it certainly gets me down and feeling depressed and then makes me cry.
my sisters and brother all seem to have friends around them i dont get why i feel left out:'(

i joined some social group 1year back and that way i got to know a few people but then did not keep in touch as i chose my uni work over being in that group.

i have 4 months until i graduate makes me think will i have anyone around me except my own family?
i sometimes cry when i get in bed just thinking why i dont have many ppl around me,i actually feel like a loner! but when i'm out and about or around uni i'm just myself and an individual person who either does shopping alone,goes around uni alone etc it starts to get to me when u see little or big groups hanging out, and i just seem to be walking around alone.

i'd rather go out with some friends to eat/cinemas/bowling/ for walks/shopping/sleep overs/go on holiday even! etc things you would do with friends but its not happening and i dont understand myself why. it really brings me down and gets me frustrated.

i'm sick of being like a loner :frown:

i actually feel better writing this out! :smile:

is it just me who feels like this anyone else? please do reply

sorry if this hasn't made sense lol nearly 2.30am and i'm on here writing about myself!

Thank you for reading :smile:

Hi, well it's now 4:20am and im still up writing about someone else, so you're not the only one. I am a male, first year University student, i can relate to the majority of what you're saying.
When i go into lectures and seminars, i know people who i only interact with on occasions because they are in the same lectures as me and i try to sit with them because i at least their names and faces, but at the same time i barely know them, so i don't want to seem clingy. (that make sense?)
Not knowing them is tough, i just cant seem to be able to relate to them at all. As much as i would like to because once they got to know me i think they'd like me, but im hardly the most charismatic person infront of people that i don't know. I seem to expect it to be initiated by other people talking to me, perhaps that is my problem, i regulary think in hindsight how i could have opened the situation up and got to know them more. I mean once i get to know people i can be a bit of a clown and a joker that doesn't know when to shut up.

Wow reading that back, sounds like i need some sort of psychiatrist. But i just read your thread and thought it sounded all to familiar so i tried to make you feel better, as well as relate it to myself, but now im being a blabber. But i too am enjoying my degree but i would love it if i could increase the social aspect of my university experience.

Feel free to quote me, to let me know you've replied or message me, if you want someone to talk to. If not, No worries and i hope everything improves and becomes what you want it to be.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

Staceycake

10

I know how you feel.
I have many friends but only one I actually socialise with but it is very rare because I am a carer and she is at uni. The other friends tend to have kids. I live in Derby and there isn't very much to do. But I do wish I had more social friends so I could go do things with them and get out every now and then.
If you ever wanna talk just drop me a message.
I hope things start to get better!

Reply 4

jeery83

5

Original post by cheekygal

is it just me who feels like this anyone else? please do reply

I often feel like this. Making friends is a tricky business as an adult. To combat being alone, I joined a couple of clubs that I have an interest in (running and crafts) and I've made multiple acquaintances doing so. Some of the relationships are evolving into friendships. I've been out with the people socially and am evening going camping in the near future. We're not bosom buddies, but it takes the edge of that corrosive feeling you can get from being lonely.

Reply 5

gingerben

9

do you live in dorms or a shared house?
also do these people you talk to have any mates? you could get them out with you get to know them and casually build up from that
do you work? if so people from work tend to go out sometimes you could ask them
if not then the way to look at it is that you only have 4 months left until you leave, and chances are you wont see people from uni a lot but you will make friends in your job, if that helps
but i wouldnt let it get you down =]

Reply 6

cheekygal

OP

thank you for the replys guys!!!! i will get back to you all later at uni now, cried to sleep last nyt but feelin much better today and certainly in a good mood :smile:

catch u all later xxxx

Reply 7

FireRam

I think there is this tendency for people to assume that once university is over everyone will have a large group of friends, the love of their life, a perfect job, and essentially a perfect life.

The truth is about as far from this as possible.

Don't feel disheartened if you haven't found people you feel you are compatible with, they will enter your life at some point, I'm sure.

I was similar to you, constant wondering why I couldn't find the right guy (still havent btw) why I couldn't find people to relate to... but then in my final year of uni I met a few like-minded people and it was great.

My point? Don't despair. Your social life will be on the up before you know it, and there is ALWAYS someone out there for us all, whether as a partner or just a friend.

Don't lose hope!

Reply 8

cheekygal

OP

Original post by FireRam

I think there is this tendency for people to assume that once university is over everyone will have a large group of friends, the love of their life, a perfect job, and essentially a perfect life.

The truth is about as far from this as possible.

Don't feel disheartened if you haven't found people you feel you are compatible with, they will enter your life at some point, I'm sure.

I was similar to you, constant wondering why I couldn't find the right guy (still havent btw) why I couldn't find people to relate to... but then in my final year of uni I met a few like-minded people and it was great.

My point? Don't despair. Your social life will be on the up before you know it, and there is ALWAYS someone out there for us all, whether as a partner or just a friend.

Don't lose hope!

Thanks i know you're right there, hmmmmm will refrain myself from looking hard for a decent guy etc xxx

Reply 9

dj11

Aaaw i know exactly how you feel to be honest it's really hard, I'm at college ATM and 2-3 years older than most of the people in my class and I don't really hang around with them because they are far too immature! You aren't lonely at all you have your family and I'm sure one day you will meet a nice man who will take all of that feeling away. I don't have many friends any more because they decided not to bother with me when I got a boyfriend (their loss) ha. But I have my boyfriend so I don't care! At the end of the day when you feel like this you just have to remind yourself that you're going places especially with your degree and you aren't going to be "lonely" forever. If you stop looking they will probably come to you! You should go for nights out with your cousins or something! Never give up or lose faith! :-) hope you're ok. xx

Reply 10

matt4

13

I remember someone saying once you will find friends for life at university. It's not always the case. Lifelong friends can be made anywhere.

I see where your coming from in the lonely sense. I feel alone too. I really want a girlfriend having never been in a relationship. I feel so odd and unique like most people mentioned above in the sense that I'm looking for a polite girl. Not one who takes on the identity of a b*tch which so many do round here :frown:

Reply 11

cheekygal

OP

Original post by matt4

I remember someone saying once you will find friends for life at university. It's not always the case. Lifelong friends can be made anywhere.

I see where your coming from in the lonely sense. I feel alone too. I really want a girlfriend having never been in a relationship. I feel so odd and unique like most people mentioned above in the sense that I'm looking for a polite girl. Not one who takes on the identity of a b*tch which so many do round here :frown:

lol true thats whats hard you get to know someone and when you start realising the person they actually are lol yeah thats how they turnout to be!same case with me,av been out with a few guys always tried to get to know them and who they really are when i have found the real side i dot see the point being with them,that gets me down more,just recently was with a guy,bin seeing him for 5/6 months got to know him slowly although he was very discreet about himself etc and then i hardly heard from him n i dont c y i have to chase someone wwhenthey are the 1 missing out right lol yeh so god knows what hes doin or wer hes at but i dont seem to care now,even if he did want me back i would refuse to see him,i dnt see the point if person cant keep up wid a relationship

Reply 12

cheekygal

OP

Original post by chatspace

Don't worry you would be succeed in your searching...

Sex Chat

wat u mean sex chat??????????

Reply 13

barnetbuzzzz

10

I'm a guy and I feel the same way. Things are bad enough for me now and I don't know what I'm going to do when I leave uni, where will I meet people? It sounds like you feel the same :frown:

PM me if you want to chat.

Reply 14

forgetamine

10

I'm just in the same situation, I have no friends at all, I don't even have acquaintances anymore because I feel like I don't connect with anyone. I'm only 19 but I'm quite mature for my age and everyone else in first year seems to be different. I just don't fit in anywhere and I hate not having any friends. I thought in a big city like mine it would be easy to make friends because there are so many people but I was wrong.

Reply 15

cheekygal

OP

i just hate having to go uni or wherever and you seem to be alone while you admire the view and surroundings etc you start to see people in bunches and groups of friends laughing and chatting away :frown:

,like even half the time in uni,there are always a certain loud group where as the quiet groups hardly attend and me being there i don't see the point chatting to these groups as they are so different, they will laugh at anything and are immature, im just the opposite im quite mature, i join in like 30%of the time but barely,just when the people are in that i chat to that is.
i feel like my confidence is slightly playing up and feel llittle shy, today i had like a presentation with 2tutors i froze and started with the erms, and they asked me questions like why you designing this,whats the height etc i was like??? oh oh, and i confused them and confused myself, i knew what i wanted to say but i just ended up like a dumb lost person:'(, felt bad, tutor asked me to sort my work,plans out for my design and get bak to him later in the day, he mustve felt sorry 4 me he looked worried or could that be something else??but yeh he sat down with me and helped me with my ideas and planning my space etc( iv only done this few months back for the 1st tym,where me and 6 other students had quik 10 min presentations,with like 5 members of staff picking out why have you done this why have you chosen to do this etc, it went so bad all the team members wer saying negative things i felt so red in the face and embarrassed felt like crying and walking off,everybody elses went ok, sometimes it feels like your being picked at too,when tutors ask billion questions altogether etc its like they either helping you or just want to make you feel like s***, got 2 deadlines this week which i havnt started with 1 and the other i just need adjusting bits, sometimes i feel like i cant be asked but 90% of the time it takes me long to get my head around what im doing before i start actually doing my uni work! :frown:

because of this its wasting time and deadlines are coming fast its my final year in interior design at uni and i dont want to f**k up.

does anyone feel the same? i feel like i just cant get work done even though i sit for hours,have headakes-backaches etc i do too much thinking even though i know what to do with work i cant get around to it, i am feeling dumb

long message i know i just had to let it out, sigh of relief :smile:

girl 24 years old-no social life:(

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