[Raradir]

Ok I have very mild Aspergers, It was alot worse when I was younger but today its basically non-existent, Although I still find it a bit hard meeting new people. And this is one of the big things scaring me for when I go to Uni in October. First off I've never really left home before so I'll be in a totally new place not knowing anyone, I just don't want to be stuck in my room for 3 years being a loner. I already dropped out of Uni 2 years ago because of this problem (well that and the course wasn't right for me) as when I went on the course I applied to, everyone seemed to know each other already and I was sat on the other side of the room on my own. What I'm asking really is if anyone in Uni or have been at Uni had the same feelings as me and how you overcome them when you went, and how to meet new people.

As being lonely is one of the most depressing things I have ever experienced in life

Thanks
Raradir

[Liam_G]

(Original post by Raradir)
Ok I have very mild Aspergers, It was alot worse when I was younger but today its basically non-existent, Although I still find it a bit hard meeting new people. And this is one of the big things scaring me for when I go to Uni in October. First off I've never really left home before so I'll be in a totally new place not knowing anyone, I just don't want to be stuck in my room for 3 years being a loner. I already dropped out of Uni 2 years ago because of this problem (well that and the course wasn't right for me) as when I went on the course I applied to, everyone seemed to know each other already and I was sat on the other side of the room on my own. What I'm asking really is if anyone in Uni or have been at Uni had the same feelings as me and how you overcome them when you went, and how to meet new people.

As being lonely is one of the most depressing things I have ever experienced in life

Thanks
Raradir

Sorry to hear that, but uni could be a fresh start for you You don't have to be loud and extroverted to make friends, just don't be afraid to talk to people. Everyone at university is in the same boat, and everyone will be nervous about the idea of meeting so many new people.

Don't try too hard to be somebody that you're not, because it'll be pretty difficult to keep up that façade for three years. Just be yourself, but put in a little more effort to socialise with as many people as you can during freshers week.

Being lonely does suck, all of my friends went off to uni last year and I've been pretty much alone ever since. It's one of the reasons that I'm looking forward to university so much this year.

[KittyKattyKaity]

What hobbies or interests do you have? My son has AS but is very into guitar and card games (YuGiOh etc) and is also heading off this year, so it's (hopefully) not going to be too bad for him because he can meet people without having to initiate conversation with both those hobbies. It might be worth making a list of your interests and hobbies and checking the Societies list on the SU website for your university to see if there's any suitable groups. Also check and see if there's an AS support person and see if they have any suggestions or techniques for you. I know my son's Uni has a dedicated AS support team who have loads of experience and useful suggestions. At the end of the day the people on your course are just that, I know when I was at Uni the vast majority of my circle weren't on my course (or even at my University! We had shared halls with another Uni).

I also remember vividly sitting on my bed about 1/2 an hour after I arrived at halls on the first day thinking that I'd made a huge mistake, and how was I ever going to meet people or 'fit in'. It is extremely daunting, especially when everyone around you seems to be making effortless conversation. I did find it difficult but was lucky that I met people through various activities (swimming, orchestra and playing pool). In fact playing pool was how I met my husband!

[mespannerhanz]

I'm in exactly the same position. I find it difficult to speak to people and make friends. Everyone says it's fine you make friends at uni, but they don't know that I don't have any real close friends after 7 years at school/college. It's what I am most worried about going to uni. Which uni are you hoping to go to?
Also KittyKattyKaity, which uni is it that your son is at with a dedicated AS team?

[KittyKattyKaity]

He's not there yet but is planning to go to Warwick. Lancaster also seem to have really good support network for disability generally and AS in particular, at least they made all the right noises at the open day and were very keen to help with DSA etc.