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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre
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Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend ended our long distance relationship of 9 months on Sunday night. He said the distance was too much for him and that we didn't see enough of one another. He said he'd fallen out of love with me as a result. He wants to stay friends and has text me yesterday and today (because its my birthday) but I dont feel like I can continue to talk to him. I have managed to go hours without texting back to the happ birthday message but caved and sent a reply.
I just miss him so much but I feel like I can never move on if we're still texting because it feels like nothing has changed even though everything has. He wasn't willing to make the LDR work and wasn't open to my suggestions. He's made it clear he doesnt want to get back together.
It just hurts so much. He dumped me exactly 4 weeks to the day i'd last said bye to him. His valentines card said that words couldnt describe how much he loves me but it all seems fake.
I've had to put cards in the boot of my car which sounds silly
Any tips on how to move on from someone?
I want to talk to him but then I feel like its not doing me any good. I feel terrible if I dont reply though.
I just miss him so much but I feel like I can never move on if we're still texting because it feels like nothing has changed even though everything has. He wasn't willing to make the LDR work and wasn't open to my suggestions. He's made it clear he doesnt want to get back together.
It just hurts so much. He dumped me exactly 4 weeks to the day i'd last said bye to him. His valentines card said that words couldnt describe how much he loves me but it all seems fake.
I've had to put cards in the boot of my car which sounds silly
Any tips on how to move on from someone?
I want to talk to him but then I feel like its not doing me any good. I feel terrible if I dont reply though.
He dumped you 4 days before your birthday?
I'm sorry, hang in there. You're doing it right already.
Back in Japan, all alone in a hotel room in Tokyo, exhausted from my flight, missing my boyfriend to bits and might not see him for another five months now.... he doesn't know if he can get the time off or the money to come over again.
Trying to keep my mind on all the travelling I've got planned over the next couple of weeks, but when term starts again it's going to be tough.
Trying to keep my mind on all the travelling I've got planned over the next couple of weeks, but when term starts again it's going to be tough.
Original post by kat91s
Back in Japan, all alone in a hotel room in Tokyo, exhausted from my flight, missing my boyfriend to bits and might not see him for another five months now.... he doesn't know if he can get the time off or the money to come over again.
Trying to keep my mind on all the travelling I've got planned over the next couple of weeks, but when term starts again it's going to be tough.
Trying to keep my mind on all the travelling I've got planned over the next couple of weeks, but when term starts again it's going to be tough.
Sorry to hear that. Did you both have a lovely time though?
Great idea, the travelling will keep you busy. Try to think of it as little blocks of time and not the whole 5 months... it must be hard though. I hope he can come and see you.
so, done the whole long distance thing, with an almost perfect guy. we had loads in common but also had a lot of different intrests. we talked for hours every day. the reason we broke up was because of the distance, after almost 7 months we both just couldn't go on apart.
problem is, now that we are broken up, we are seeing eachother more than what we did when we were together
go figure. I still have a lot of feelings towards him and i know he does too. I want to get over him. I do want to move on because i just don't think i could go with the long distance again.....
Don't know what to do!!
HELP!!!!
Please
problem is, now that we are broken up, we are seeing eachother more than what we did when we were together
go figure. I still have a lot of feelings towards him and i know he does too. I want to get over him. I do want to move on because i just don't think i could go with the long distance again.....Don't know what to do!!
HELP!!!!
Please
Original post by Dolphy
so, done the whole long distance thing, with an almost perfect guy. we had loads in common but also had a lot of different intrests. we talked for hours every day. the reason we broke up was because of the distance, after almost 7 months we both just couldn't go on apart.
problem is, now that we are broken up, we are seeing eachother more than what we did when we were together go figure. I still have a lot of feelings towards him and i know he does too. I want to get over him. I do want to move on because i just don't think i could go with the long distance again.....
Don't know what to do!!
HELP!!!!
Please
problem is, now that we are broken up, we are seeing eachother more than what we did when we were together
go figure. I still have a lot of feelings towards him and i know he does too. I want to get over him. I do want to move on because i just don't think i could go with the long distance again.....Don't know what to do!!
HELP!!!!
Please
Talk to him. It may be a case of it can be resolved. Your trading one hurt (LDR) for another (not being together). Have an honest and open discussion with him about it. See if theres anything different that can be done to make the relationship bearable. Its not easy Dolphy but it can be done
Well mine got rather upset last night. She opened her mouth to my brother and said something that (she shouldnt have said in the first place as its not her place too) was taken the wrong way. My brother has never met or spoken to her cept on facebook - as such he doesnt get her humour. she said something that i knew was meant light ehartedly. He took it offensively (and understandably so) then his girlfriend got involved and snapped back. My girlfriend refused to tell me what was going on asking me not to get involved. I told her not going to happen spoke to my brother and found out what had been said. Settled everything.
But had my girlfriend in tears for an hour down the phone until i calmed her down enough over it. She thought i would be furious with her and i wasnt. i was more annoyed she tried to keep me out of it than anything else.
But its one of those hiccups that happen in a new relationship
But had my girlfriend in tears for an hour down the phone until i calmed her down enough over it. She thought i would be furious with her and i wasnt. i was more annoyed she tried to keep me out of it than anything else.
But its one of those hiccups that happen in a new relationship
Original post by silverbolt
Well mine got rather upset last night. She opened her mouth to my brother and said something that (she shouldnt have said in the first place as its not her place too) was taken the wrong way. My brother has never met or spoken to her cept on facebook - as such he doesnt get her humour. she said something that i knew was meant light ehartedly. He took it offensively (and understandably so) then his girlfriend got involved and snapped back. My girlfriend refused to tell me what was going on asking me not to get involved. I told her not going to happen spoke to my brother and found out what had been said. Settled everything.
But had my girlfriend in tears for an hour down the phone until i calmed her down enough over it. She thought i would be furious with her and i wasnt. i was more annoyed she tried to keep me out of it than anything else.
But its one of those hiccups that happen in a new relationship
But had my girlfriend in tears for an hour down the phone until i calmed her down enough over it. She thought i would be furious with her and i wasnt. i was more annoyed she tried to keep me out of it than anything else.
But its one of those hiccups that happen in a new relationship
thanks for your advice, could work. about your little 'hiccup' it does happen and often people don't understand a person's sence of humor. sarcasm is also difficult to pick up espescially over the phone or a text. but you seem to have resolved all the tension
Original post by caseyhayes
He dumped you 4 days before your birthday?
I'm sorry, hang in there. You're doing it right already.
I'm sorry, hang in there. You're doing it right already.
Unfortunately yes. The presents he sent me arrived today so its brought up a lot of emotion especially because the chocolates say 'sent with love' on the wrapper.
I've text him today to say thank you, he didn't reply for hours so stupidly I sent another and he text back within seconds! He said he's been keeping himself busy today which seemed weird :/ but the rest of his text is like nothing has changed.
I miss him terribly!! I just want a hug
Three weeks today...
Original post by such_a_lady
Three weeks today...
celebrate every single moment!!!!!!!!!
Original post by caseyhayes
Sorry to hear that. Did you both have a lovely time though?
Great idea, the travelling will keep you busy. Try to think of it as little blocks of time and not the whole 5 months... it must be hard though. I hope he can come and see you.
Great idea, the travelling will keep you busy. Try to think of it as little blocks of time and not the whole 5 months... it must be hard though. I hope he can come and see you.
Yes we did, he took me away for a weekend, and even little things like sleeping in the same bed are magical after such a long time.
It's just so difficult right now, because we had a falling out over a month ago which resulted in me breaking up with him. He won me back and just when we were getting back on track again, I'm off to the other side of the world.
Got to think positive. We're past our halfway point now until I'm back for good.
Original post by kat91s
Yes we did, he took me away for a weekend, and even little things like sleeping in the same bed are magical after such a long time.
It's just so difficult right now, because we had a falling out over a month ago which resulted in me breaking up with him. He won me back and just when we were getting back on track again, I'm off to the other side of the world.
Got to think positive. We're past our halfway point now until I'm back for good.
It's just so difficult right now, because we had a falling out over a month ago which resulted in me breaking up with him. He won me back and just when we were getting back on track again, I'm off to the other side of the world.
Got to think positive. We're past our halfway point now until I'm back for good.
Exactly, you just need to keep focusing on the fact that you'll be much closer soon, you're half way there (you've made it this far!!).
Arghhhh having some horrible, horrible thoughts right now
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
Original post by Ciccina
Arghhhh having some horrible, horrible thoughts right now
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
Me and my LD boyfriend have never said i love you yet- we've decided to only say it when we mean it with all of our hearts. So at least when your bf says it, you'll know it's genuine. We're only at about three months. We (well I) hit a rough patch last week, so i kind of know what you're talking about, even if every situation's different. Give it a wee while and try to just have a wee light hearted chat with him. Even when i'm being all crazy, i find just a little chatting warms me
AND brightens my day And we're in the same situation that i feel i make a lot of the effort. But roles are often established early on and i'm chattier than him anyway. :L It doesn't necessarily mean bad news.
There might be a reason you're confused? Like, i started getting all
because we hadn't spoken for more than 3 minutes at a time in about a week. And that's an awful situation in an LDR. I genuinely had to ask him if he still felt the same. But we're great again now. And it's only ben 4 days since i asked. I think it's fantastic that you made such a huge effort to be with him and i'm pretty sure he understands too. Maybe you could explain how you're feeling and talk things through? Makes my heart feel like it's going to jump out my chest with nerves at first, but by the end of the conversation it's just like a huge weight has been lifted and my heart's going to jump out of my chest because i feel so close to him, so maybe it would help you out too?
Stay strong- If you need to talk to someone, i'm here. And so's your boyfriend, i'd wager.
xx
I have this really bad feeling I'm gonna get my ass dumped within the next few weeks
She says the 'magic' isn't there anymore and that she feels we're drifting away from each other. This is going to hit me hard, if it happens...
Everything was working out so well until now and I'd give anything to stay with her.
She says the 'magic' isn't there anymore and that she feels we're drifting away from each other. This is going to hit me hard, if it happens...
Everything was working out so well until now and I'd give anything to stay with her.
Gonna see my man in a week for whole 4 months
so excited, miss him like crazy.
so excited, miss him like crazy.Original post by Ciccina
Arghhhh having some horrible, horrible thoughts right now
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
Thing is, I made an enourmous effort to be with him, came to terms with my issues and learnt to control myself (almost). But. I don't see him doing the same in return
Usually I'm okay with everything, I tell myself not to get upset over every single thing...but today I can't begin to rest. Since we've been back together, he has not a single time said 'I love you'
For the first time in three months, I'm wondering if I made the right choice
*squeeze*
PM me if you want?
Is it just the words "I love you" or is it his actions?
Original post by Vindobona
I have this really bad feeling I'm gonna get my ass dumped within the next few weeks
She says the 'magic' isn't there anymore and that she feels we're drifting away from each other. This is going to hit me hard, if it happens...
Everything was working out so well until now and I'd give anything to stay with her.
She says the 'magic' isn't there anymore and that she feels we're drifting away from each other. This is going to hit me hard, if it happens...
Everything was working out so well until now and I'd give anything to stay with her.
Fight for her? Where does she think the magic has gone?
Show her how good you both can be...
Original post by caseyhayes
Fight for her? Where does she think the magic has gone?
Show her how good you both can be...
Show her how good you both can be...
Thanks for your reply.
We've been in a LDR for 6 months now. During the first 3 months, we saw each other 4 times for a few days and everything was perfect. We were always saying how proud we were that we're working this out so well. Now she's on an exchange programme in Mexico and I saw her for 1 night last weekend, for the first time in 3 months (the reason why it was only one night is because she attended a conference in central Europe and squeezed in a 12 hour stopover in London on her flight back to Mexico). I thought it was a very passionate night, but since then her messages seemed more 'distant', she took longer to reply, her replies were very short and superficial, etc... I knew something was wrong so I asked her, and after not telling me anything for a while she told me today that seeing me again after so long wasn't the same, that is was somehow awkward and that it didn't make her as happy as she expected. So I suspect she's losing her feelings for me
Anyway, I'm going to visit her in Mexico for 2.5 weeks very soon and I hope I can remind her of how good we are together and gain her feelings back. It's probably my last chance to get this relationship back on track. But it makes me so sad because she doesn't even seem to be looking forward to my visit anymore, and we planned this for so long and were counting down the weeks and days until that one night
today is my ex-boyfriend's 18th birthday. a really big day for him adn of course with it being the weekend, party time. i have no idea if it will be a good idea for me to go. i do want to stay friends with him but i know he wants to get back together and i just cant go back into a LDR. at least not right now anyway I want to focus on my studies.
sould i go or not, by going i fear he could try get me to go out with him again(which i wont do) and thats going to hurt him but if i don't go it could hurt him too. really don't know what to do.
hate it that either way I will hurt him. I miss him terribly and really don't want to cause him any more pain
sould i go or not, by going i fear he could try get me to go out with him again(which i wont do) and thats going to hurt him but if i don't go it could hurt him too. really don't know what to do.
hate it that either way I will hurt him. I miss him terribly and really don't want to cause him any more pain
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