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I think I have had depression for over four years..

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    I don't want to use the term depression lightly, but I think I have it. I randomly get really upset and down, I burst out crying at the silliest things and for the first time last year and I contemplated suicide.

    I think it all started when I was fourteen. I was friends with these boys and we used to all go out all the time- until I found out that my so called best male friend had been insulting me behind my back. The words he said about me, will stay with me always and had to be the most hurtful things anyone has ever said about me. I remember crying in room for two days straight. Ever since, I have extremely low self esteem and confidence, I avoid eye contact and any time a boy looks at me I imagine him calling me ugly, so my confidence is basically 0.

    I just feel so alone, I get angry a lot at my family, to the point were I cannot speak to anyone and i just feel so, so empty and low. I don't feel like going to a doctor because that will make things real and I guess I'm used to bottling things up. I have A-Levels soon so I can't complicate them to go through all of that.

    I'm babbling. But I don't know...I don't know why I'm making this thread. I guess I just needed to tell someone, anyone how I feel. I just want to feel normal and happy like everyone else and not feel like my whole life will be full of unhappiness.
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    I can really sympathise with what you're going through, I have been diagnosed with moderate depression myself, and when I look back on my life I realise it's been a long time where I haven't had depression on and off.
    I know you just wish you can sleep and never wake up, or always feel on the verge of tears, and like you I think it all stemmed from some really hurtful comments back in highschool.
    There are other people who know how you feel and what you're going through. It may be worth speaking to your family, right now they don't understand why you are angry at them, at least give them the chance to help, I found it helped me greatly.
    I've put off going to see the doctor but decided to see a nurse recently and she has helped me so much, it took a lot of courage for me to go and I felt so silly at first, but I'm glad I went now.
    Please seek help because you don't have to feel like this but you will continue to do so without it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it all started when I was fourteen. I was friends with these boys and we used to all go out all the time- until I found out that my so called best male friend had been insulting me behind my back. The words he said about me, will stay with me always and had to be the most hurtful things anyone has ever said about me. I remember crying in room for two days straight. Ever since, I have extremely low self esteem and confidence, I avoid eye contact and any time a boy looks at me I imagine him calling me ugly, so my confidence is basically 0.
    Eleanor Roosevelt said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' It's a difficult truth to swallow but it's true.

    It must have been hard for you being betrayed by someone you trusted. Can you think of reasons why he said those things? people usually insult others because they are insecure themselves and they want to make themselves feel or look better by putting other people down.

    You are giving all of your power to that one person. You are replaying this situation in your mind over and over (would you continually watch a bad movie at the cinema?) to the extent that you think every boy who looks at you, thinks you are ugly.

    There is no such thing as ugly. It doesn't matter what you look like, there are people out there who will be attracted to you. I see couples all of the time and I think to myself what does he/she see in them?

    You can't let one person control you like a puppet on string for the rest of your life and make you so unhappy. Who is he anyway? what's so fantastic about him that gives him the right to put you down like that? The fact he insulted you behind your back shows you the measure of his character. He's a coward and he's insecure and he gets his confidence from belittling other people. If I was you, I would be damm right angry.

    Show him what you are made of. Use the insults and the pain as a fuel to motivate you to succeed and be happy in life. Prove him wrong. All sorts of people get bullied and insulted like that. Jodie Marsh, the glamour model, did a documentary on bullying recently as she was badly bullied at school. Geoff Thompson, the BAFTA winning writer and world class martial artist was bullied at school. Mike Tyson, the former world heavyweight boxing champion, was bullied.

    It will only destroy your life if you let. You have the choice and you have the power to move on from this situation. You will probably need some help. I would suggest getting in touch with a bullying charity or some form of counselling.
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    Your past does not equal your future:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hRpl...layer_embedded
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    (Original post by advent2)
    Eleanor Roosevelt said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' It's a difficult truth to swallow but it's true.

    It must have been hard for you being betrayed by someone you trusted. Can you think of reasons why he said those things? people usually insult others because they are insecure themselves and they want to make themselves feel or look better by putting other people down.

    You are giving all of your power to that one person. You are replaying this situation in your mind over and over (would you continually watch a bad movie at the cinema?) to the extent that you think every boy who looks at you, thinks you are ugly.

    There is no such thing as ugly. It doesn't matter what you look like, there are people out there who will be attracted to you. I see couples all of the time and I think to myself what does he/she see in them?

    You can't let one person control you like a puppet on string for the rest of your life and make you so unhappy. Who is he anyway? what's so fantastic about him that gives him the right to put you down like that? The fact he insulted you behind your back shows you the measure of his character. He's a coward and he's insecure and he gets his confidence from belittling other people. If I was you, I would be damm right angry.

    Show him what you are made of. Use the insults and the pain as a fuel to motivate you to succeed and be happy in life. Prove him wrong. All sorts of people get bullied and insulted like that. Jodie Marsh, the glamour model, did a documentary on bullying recently as she was badly bullied at school. Geoff Thompson, the BAFTA winning writer and world class martial artist was bullied at school. Mike Tyson, the former world heavyweight boxing champion, was bullied.

    It will only destroy your life if you let. You have the choice and you have the power to move on from this situation. You will probably need some help. I would suggest getting in touch with a bullying charity or some form of counselling.
    That's fantastic.

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Updated: March 30, 2012
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