(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, I know it's another depression thread, but I feel like I need somewhere to let it all out.
Recently I've been thinking what actually is the point in life,
like we all die in the end... there's nothing exciting to life, everyday I'm just sitting around watching TV, I never have the motivation to do anything, I'm part of the Gym but I can't be arsed to go there because I hate the kind of people down there. I play football every Wednesday which is fun but not been playing recently due to an injury.
I don't really like the majority of my friends. I have 2 extremely close friends at home but I barely get to see them anymore. I have a girlfriend at Uni who I spend all my time with there and I love her to bits but me feeling like this is causing problems which is just making me feel worse. I get extremely jealous all the time and I struggle to trust her even though there's actually no reason for it.
I've been seeing a counsellor about depression and he's helping me understand my trust issues (it's basically because my Dad's an alcoholic and has constantly let me down all my life). I don't really enjoy my degree and I don't really have any urge to work for a degree, at the end of my degree I'm just going to get a boring 9-5 job and it's just going to be depressing. My life is going nowhere.
I'd like to say the counselling is helpful and it's very informative but it isn't making me feel any better, I feel like I need anti-depression drugs to be able to cope, I need something just to get me out of feeling like this. I hate life right now. My brother's got depression and has drugs and is feeling better through it. I know it's not a cure or anything I'm not under any illusions I just want a short term fix to stop feeling like this.
I hate life, I hate me and I hate the human race. Yet I hate myself for thinking this because I am incredibly lucky in so many ways.
Basically, I feel like I just need drugs to cope with it, it's eating me up.