I’ve just realised how few people I've kept in touch with throughout life and It's freaking me out. Looking on facebook I’ve realised how many people have proper friendship groups where as I don't think I do.
I am at university, and get on ok with everyone in my halls, but in the first term I was all popular, and then I just stopped trying and now I feel like only one person could be considered a friend, two if you count someone who has so many friends that I feel like it doesn’t really count.
I’m not in touch with anyone from primary school, I’m only partially in touch with one person from secondary school who I rarely meet up with just for old time’s sake but we have nothing in common. I have one friend from college and we meet up about once each time we’re back from uni, and that’s it.
Is this normal or do most people have quite a few mates that they keep in touch with from each stage of their life? I come across as being quite outgoing and seem to be good at making friends, its just keeping them that’s the problem. Also I read quite a lot and I think I’ve just got carried away with books and forgotten to participate in the real world a bit! The thing is I get really lazy with shallow friendships. Also I don’t want to annoy people so I wait for them to do the getting in touch.
Is anyone in a similar situation? Recently I’ve just been kicking myself a bit and thinking maybe I should try harder but then I feel like friendships should just be natural and you shouldn’t have to try too hard? Is there still time to make friends or are most friends made at school/uni?
I'm not in touch with anyone at all from primary school since about year 9 haha. I'm only in proper touch with a few people from secondary school whom I had exceptional bonding with e.g. were best friends with them throughout or hung out almost exclusively with them for a while etc. I didn't get on with most people from my secondary school. I also get really lazy with shallow friendships... that's why they're shallow. They don't provide you with many benefits except occasional 'company'. You don't have a strong emotional bond with them so why bother to keep in touch?
Is anyone in a similar situation? Recently I’ve just been kicking myself a bit and thinking maybe I should try harder but then I feel like friendships should just be natural and you shouldn’t have to try too hard?
This isn't always true. I have a best friend who was just always so busy it was difficult to make time. But when we did get together it was always awesome.
Is there still time to make friends or are most friends made at school/uni?
I know so many people from uni who have made most of their current friends at uni. Also I don't understand what you mean by are most friends made at 'uni'? You're only in first year (I think). You have loooads of time. Just join some societies you're interested in. At societies you actually have something in common and will automatically meet up on a regular basis. At halls you have nothing in common they are just a bunch of randomers. I know so many people (including myself) who hated halls for this reason.
I don't think its abnormal, or even that uncommon to lose touch with people as you go through the different stages of life. I'm only in touch with one person I was at junior and then comprehensive school with, that person is one of the few people I consider a true friend. I'm not in touch with anyone I did my a-levels with and if I'm being honest I doubt I'll keep in touch with anyone from uni long-term after I've graduated later this year. In my experience real friends often come from outside places like college and university, and you meet them through your other interests. Sometimes when you're doing a course you just make the effort to get on at the time because you've been thrown together.
If you're happy with things the way they are and the friends you've got then you shouldn't judge yourself by other people’s standards. If you're not happy, as someone else said you've got plenty of time to make good friends at uni, just make sure you make the effort to keep in touch with them once you've left.