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im seriously considering turning into a maneater because im sick of men

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    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
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    Think you're going for the wrong guys. Not all guys are a holes
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
    First of all by doing this, you effectively become just as bad as the guys that made you feel like crap, eventually you may meet a guy that genuinely likes you. But you ****ing him about is no different from what the other guys did to you.

    After reading that piece of text it is obvious you have a knack for picking bad guys, Don't blame the male population, and don't look for sympathy or to guilt-trip guys as if the male population actually owes you anything. The problem is completely down to you, you need to learn to stop going for dicks, you put yourself in this situation. grow up not every single guy is a ****
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    I'm a guy and have been treated like this by women in the past so its not just men that are like this, its people in general and those guys may have been hurt in the past so are taking you're new attitude up, there's no point as its not going to help anyone and just make everyone involved unhappy you included.

    I wouldn't treat all of us badly as then you're no better than the people you're having a go at. Thankfully I have a lot of female friends so I know that all girls aren't all bad and I've just ended up with dodgy ones in the past. The best thing you can do is be the best person you can be on your own and have other things in your life to make you happy, then when someone does mess you about you can tell yourself that its their loss and they're the one that's missed out and that you've just had a lucky escape.

    Hurting people isn't worth it though. You never know the right guy for you could come along who really likes you and you could ruin it if you have that attitude and turn him bitter against you, which wouldn't be good for anyone, you included. Sounds like you're better off without these guys and if you're being bitter you've just let them win really, be bitter towards them by all means, I'm bitter towards most of the girls I've been involved with in the past but don't be bitter towards all of us.

    Edit: posted at same time as the previous thread so we're basicaly saying the same things. I'll try and give you the guys perspective in your previous situations as it might help you out having been in similar situations myself, the first 2 sound like a holes. The fwb sounds like he might have become emotionally attached to you and thought it was possibly leading to something more, he then found out it was just physical to you and the best way to get over you is to avoid contact (been in that situation myself). The bloke you went on a date with probably did just want fwb but didn't you say you wanted that with the guy before anyway and finally the guy you went on a date with who didn't like you that's his choice sometimes the chemistry just isn't there and its nobodys fault and its better not to string the other person along if you don't think it can possibly go somewhere, the guy who only talks to you when he wants something sounds like an a hole as well, so truthfully only half of them have really messed you about if you look at it like that. I know this post may sound a bit harsh but I'm just trying to help you out here.
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    You sound desperate for a man maybe that's why you're just clinging onto anyone that comes along and they turn out to be d****. Five of the sentences in your post start with "then another guy" or word to that effect. Slow down, show that you're capable of standing on your own two feet then maybe you might attract the right guy instead of becoming so bitter and getting burned all the time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
    You need to decide what YOU want. The first three guys were obviously not interested in a relationship - makes no sense in you "waiting" when they aren't! Nothing is WRONG with them not wanting a relationship, or you wanting one. You simply need to have the guts to walk away if what they want and what you want aren't similar.

    I'm not sure about the other guy who makes you do jobs for him, what kind of "jobs" do you mean?

    And for the final guy, its strange that you say he's a "nice guy and a gentleman" in one sentence, and then you say that all guys are douches in the next. It gives me the feeling that your attitude probably turned him off. Either way, he's not entitled to like you simple because you like him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?
    Because then you'll be exactly like the guys that you're talking about here.

    I can see why you're annoyed, but you can't blame all men for the actions of a few. Some of us are nice, I swear Good look finding a corker of a guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?
    Because the only way you can do that is by pussywhipping them, and the only way to achieve that is to be hot, and to put out.. both of which would seem unlikely from this post :rolleyes:

    Cold hard truth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely. Water seeks its own level.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    You CHOSE to be his doormat. Don't be friends with him if him getting a girlfriend upsets you.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    What kind of FWB doesn't involve sex? Sounds like you weren't being real about what you really wanted from him.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    He's not a baddie for wanting sex and if his intentions were clear after just one date, then he didn't exactly lead you on under false pretenses. You have every right to name your terms in what you want to get from a guy. So does he.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    He didn't MAKE you do anything. You CHOSE to be walked all over, you brought it on yourself.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    Maybe because he can tell how easily you blame your own decisions on other people.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    Guys want sex. Deal with it. Considering that YOU get to decide when they have it with you, you actually have the high ground! Stop whining about the fact that guys have dangly bits that they like to use!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    Because you'll just be showing yourself up to be a bit of a tool.

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    And you're giving this guy the time of day because...?

    Is this normal?
    The truth is, what's putting the decent guys off you is your rubbish attitude. Listen up, when you brand every guy under one header ('they only want sex' or 'they just use me' or 'they all lie') - even if you think it's only going on inside the safety of your own mind - they can subliminally pick up on your man-hate. Men are just people. They're in pursuit of happiness just like you are.

    Stop blaming them for your bad decision-making and step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Don't be the doormat. Don't persecute men for wanting sex - that's totally normal and above board! And most of all, stop playing the victim and put the violin away right now. You claim your own value when it comes to men and all things relationship. If you don't respect yourself, why should he? Don't faff about being a complete wuss for every guy who comes by, and then blame him for treating you as such.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. You want things to change? YOU have to change, and be honest about why you always cast yourself as the victim. Victims aren't sexy. Women who know themselves and know their worth are.
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    The truth is, what's putting the decent guys off you is your rubbish attitude. Listen up, when you brand every guy under one header ('they only want sex' or 'they just use me' or 'they all lie') - even if you think it's only going on inside the safety of your own mind - they can subliminally pick up on your man-hate. Men are just people. They're in pursuit of happiness just like you are.

    Stop blaming them for your bad decision-making and step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Don't be the doormat. Don't persecute men for wanting sex - that's totally normal and above board! And most of all, stop playing the victim and put the violin away right now. You claim your own value when it comes to men and all things relationship. If you don't respect yourself, why should he? Don't faff about being a complete wuss for every guy who comes by, and then blame him for treating you as such.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. You want things to change? YOU have to change, and be honest about why you always cast yourself as the victim. Victims aren't sexy. Women who know themselves and know their worth are.
    Are you some kind of female PUA? lol
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    Are you some kind of female PUA? lol
    Officially no. Unofficially... Lived and learned a lot, but above all I have been there in some form or other with most of the posts that I respond to.

    Ultimately wanna forge some sort of not-quite-in-any-box career out of coaching women to be their best selves... alongside my freelance writing, personal training and internet entrepreneur antics.

    But I'll take that as a compliment, thanks!
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    The truth is, what's putting the decent guys off you is your rubbish attitude. Listen up, when you brand every guy under one header ('they only want sex' or 'they just use me' or 'they all lie') - even if you think it's only going on inside the safety of your own mind - they can subliminally pick up on your man-hate. Men are just people. They're in pursuit of happiness just like you are.

    Stop blaming them for your bad decision-making and step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Don't be the doormat. Don't persecute men for wanting sex - that's totally normal and above board! And most of all, stop playing the victim and put the violin away right now. You claim your own value when it comes to men and all things relationship. If you don't respect yourself, why should he? Don't faff about being a complete wuss for every guy who comes by, and then blame him for treating you as such.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. You want things to change? YOU have to change, and be honest about why you always cast yourself as the victim. Victims aren't sexy. Women who know themselves and know their worth are.
    This is the best advice! it's a shame the truth is being negged.
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    The truth is, what's putting the decent guys off you is your rubbish attitude. Listen up, when you brand every guy under one header ('they only want sex' or 'they just use me' or 'they all lie') - even if you think it's only going on inside the safety of your own mind - they can subliminally pick up on your man-hate. Men are just people. They're in pursuit of happiness just like you are.

    Stop blaming them for your bad decision-making and step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Don't be the doormat. Don't persecute men for wanting sex - that's totally normal and above board! And most of all, stop playing the victim and put the violin away right now. You claim your own value when it comes to men and all things relationship. If you don't respect yourself, why should he? Don't faff about being a complete wuss for every guy who comes by, and then blame him for treating you as such.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. You want things to change? YOU have to change, and be honest about why you always cast yourself as the victim. Victims aren't sexy. Women who know themselves and know their worth are.
    Hi, thank for you reply.

    A lot of what you said actually made sense given what i had said. But i don think what id put was entirely accurate. Most of the guys hadnt made it clear they wanted **** buddies, in fact it was my own brain telling me. They were constantly asking me things that pointed to them just wanting quick sex and not a relationship. Yeh, theres nothing wrong with it, but people need to make it clear and not try and be **** buddies with someone whose said they want a relationship.

    I may be 'feeling sorry for myself'/playing the victim, but just because someone lets others walk all over them it doesnt make it right. I am just a really forgiving person- does that make it right for people to take advantage of it?
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    (Original post by Birdman1234567)
    This is the best advice! it's a shame the truth is being negged.
    Thank you. I do speak the truth, so hate me, hater. :cool:
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    Officially no. Unofficially... Lived and learned a lot, but above all I have been there in some form or other with most of the posts that I respond to.

    Ultimately wanna forge some sort of not-quite-in-any-box career out of coaching women to be their best selves... alongside my freelance writing, personal training and internet entrepreneur antics.

    But I'll take that as a compliment, thanks!
    PUAs do indeed sell their product/philosophy using 3 of the mediums you stated.

    And there is definitely a market for female self-improvement.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    PUAs do indeed sell their product/philosophy using 3 of the mediums you stated.

    And there is definitely a market for female self-improvement.
    Yeah well I just thought, why be in the 9-5 rat race?

    If you know anyone who runs a website that in any way overlaps with mine, maybe you could put the good word in for a reciprocal link rule number one of any website-related business: appeal to the almighty God of the Internet, Google. And Google loves backlinks.
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    (Original post by Birdman1234567)
    First of all by doing this, you effectively become just as bad as the guys that made you feel like crap, eventually you may meet a guy that genuinely likes you. But you ****ing him about is no different from what the other guys did to you.

    After reading that piece of text it is obvious you have a knack for picking bad guys, Don't blame the male population, and don't look for sympathy or to guilt-trip guys as if the male population actually owes you anything. The problem is completely down to you, you need to learn to stop going for dicks, you put yourself in this situation. grow up not every single guy is a ****
    I couldn't agree more, people like the OP need a reality check. you really must be a fool if you even begin to think everyone of the same gender is the same. It is unthinkable to anyone that has even an inch of sanity.
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    Yeah well I just thought, why be in the 9-5 rat race?

    If you know anyone who runs a website that in any way overlaps with mine, maybe you could put the good word in for a reciprocal link rule number one of any website-related business: appeal to the almighty God of the Internet, Google. And Google loves backlinks.
    I don't but if you look on the monetizing and Black SEO sections of www.hackforums.net you will find ways to enhance your website.

    The only female PUA I know of is Kezia Noble and I think she's just a marketing ploy tbh. Hopefully you are genuine.
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    Feeling cold towards guys is definitely a positive, I would relish that feeling if I were you. It puts you in a position of power where you can behave how you like in a relationship where you can really be yourself because you dont care if they react badly to something you do or say. Then it makes it far easier to find someone that actually likes you.

    The thing is Most people arent very nice at the end of the day. Id generalise your rationale from men to the whole of humanity and youve pretty much got it spot on.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    I don't but if you look on the monetizing and Black SEO sections of www.hackforums.net you will find ways to enhance your website.

    The only female PUA I know of is Kezia Noble and I think she's just a marketing ploy tbh. Hopefully you are genuine.
    I just Googled her. Hmmmmm.... W/e. I'm not too good at advising guys so I wouldn't go down that route. Stick to what I know innit. 'Black SEO' sounds.... black.

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