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Alienation getting me down

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    A couple of years ago I fell out with a friend because she betrayed me and told other people things I told her in confidence. As a result some of my close friends chose her over me and decided not to bother with me any more. So I only have a few friends to be social with were I live. I started University in september 2010 doing a foundation year and moved into halls in Manchester. I struggled to make friends and I knew one guy from home who was at the same Uni he was the only person I hung around with. As a result I became depressed and found my self missing lectures. Because of this I decided to commute from home because if the same situation arises this year I dont wont to spiral into depression again. The same thing has happened this year I dont have a single friend on my course and at home i only have a handful of friends. My social life is minimal at best.

    In my time living in Manchester i found a lot of students to be very pretentious

    I live in a small town in the north Ive lived her for 10 years we moved here from the south due to my father changing his job. Although Ive never particularly liked living here because there is nothing to do and a lot of the people are ignorant, scummy and just plain stupid. After my so called friends decided not to bother with me it increased my feelings of Alienation.

    We also went on a family holiday to the country i was born in last summer, I came to england at 6 months old. I dont speak the language at all and i didnt enjoy the holiday and as a result I came to the conclusion that I dont belong there.

    I dont belong in the town where i live, I dont belong in the country of my birth and I dont belong at University.

    Any advice how do you find where you belong?
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    What can I say, apart from that I feel the same way... Don't like my home country so I don't want to live there. Love Britain, but don't like University - so lonely and down all the time. It's not like I didn't try to make friends - I have been to several society meetings and met a lot of people... but it just seems I am somehow socially repulsive... No one seems to understand me or wants to be with me. I just try to be myself because I can't stand any kind of faking, but as you said, a LOT of students are pretentious...

    So you're not alone with those feelings! *hugs*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A couple of years ago I fell out with a friend because she betrayed me and told other people things I told her in confidence. As a result some of my close friends chose her over me and decided not to bother with me any more. So I only have a few friends to be social with were I live. I started University in september 2010 doing a foundation year and moved into halls in Manchester. I struggled to make friends and I knew one guy from home who was at the same Uni he was the only person I hung around with. As a result I became depressed and found my self missing lectures. Because of this I decided to commute from home because if the same situation arises this year I dont wont to spiral into depression again. The same thing has happened this year I dont have a single friend on my course and at home i only have a handful of friends. My social life is minimal at best.

    In my time living in Manchester i found a lot of students to be very pretentious

    I live in a small town in the north Ive lived her for 10 years we moved here from the south due to my father changing his job. Although Ive never particularly liked living here because there is nothing to do and a lot of the people are ignorant, scummy and just plain stupid. After my so called friends decided not to bother with me it increased my feelings of Alienation.

    We also went on a family holiday to the country i was born in last summer, I came to england at 6 months old. I dont speak the language at all and i didnt enjoy the holiday and as a result I came to the conclusion that I dont belong there.

    I dont belong in the town where i live, I dont belong in the country of my birth and I dont belong at University.

    Any advice how do you find where you belong?
    Do you think your past experience of being betrayed by your friend is creating barriers which are stopping you from making new friends? It's like the old saying 'once bitten, twice shy.' Whilst you might view it as a negative experience, it can also be viewed in a positive light. At least you know now who your real friends are and who you can trust. The only way we learn really is by experience and trial and error, just chalk it down to experience.

    You seem to make a lot of judgments about other people. You say that the students are pretentious and that a lot of people are ignorant, scummy and just plain stupid. Can you see how that might be a barrier to making friends? sometimes you have to give people a chance and whilst it's a cliche, you shouldn't always judge a book by its cover.
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    Give it time. It gets better!
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by advent2)
    Do you think your past experience of being betrayed by your friend is creating barriers which are stopping you from making new friends? It's like the old saying 'once bitten, twice shy.' Whilst you might view it as a negative experience, it can also be viewed in a positive light. At least you know now who your real friends are and who you can trust. The only way we learn really is by experience and trial and error, just chalk it down to experience.

    Yes the betrayal has made it harder for me to trust people but ive also not had any opportunitys to make friends. Yes I do see that the betrayal has showed me who my true friends are but at the same time has robbed me of my social life but I dont want to be friends with those people any more they arnt true friends

    You seem to make a lot of judgments about other people. You say that the students are pretentious and that a lot of people are ignorant, scummy and just plain stupid. Can you see how that might be a barrier to making friends? sometimes you have to give people a chance and whilst it's a cliche, you shouldn't always judge a book by its cover.
    I was not judging everybody just a lot of people where I live its a small town where everyone knows everyone and ive interacted with these people and I know what they are like. As for the students not all of them are pretentious I think my bad experience with a few that are led me to make that judgement
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by boromir9111)
    Give it time. It gets better!
    Really? things have been crap for ages now its been a couple of years
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really? things have been crap for ages now its been a couple of years
    You'll learn to appreciate why you feel the alienation and that it's not sometimes a bad thing!

    Rather be true to yourself than fake and try to blend in!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really? things have been crap for ages now its been a couple of years
    Then you need to change what you are doing. 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.'

    Go to new places and meet new people. Join a group or a class or a sporting club. Even if it's just one of them crappy one day training courses they offer at uni on presentation skills or teamwork. It's not really important what it is (although obviously it's better if it's something that you actually enjoy) it's just about getting yourself out of the same old tired routine and meeting new people.

    It's an opportunity to develop your social skills. If you want change, you have to work at it, you have to meet providence halfway.

    Analyse your own interpersonal skills. Are you creating barriers between yourself and other people to protect yourself from being harmed again or is it just the case that you have been moving in the wrong social circles?
    #2

    Nahh realistically your not the only one in this boat...people have problems...i know I do lool...but things get better tho don't worry
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Where can find information about clubs and courses in my local areas?

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Updated: April 4, 2012
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