[Nidhogg_Rider]

So i've been dabbling around with internet dating websites like POF and OKCupid and whilst i've had some minor success it's mainly been just a massive graft of sending message after message with no replies.

The little success i've had has been with girls that originally messaged me in the first place. Even then, I get half of these girls being as dimensional as planks of wood. I'll be trying to make conversation flow but i'll get one liner replies and very few questions asked back a lot of the time. With some girls, conversation dries up within a few messages, it's ridiculous because I do try and make my messages interesting with conversational hooks to go off into other areas, and it's not like my profile isn't full of things that you could enquire further into. I've managed to get some conversations moving and added them on Facebook where it's just then lost all traction and gone nowhere.

So i'm wondering, why do girls even bother messaging you in the first place if they're not at all interested in TRYING to make some decent conversation start up. Just seems ironic when there's the amounts of complaints on some profiles that there aren't any decent guys on these websites

Or am I just wasting my time with these sites?

[Big Jaffa Cake]

Wasting time I'd say, I have same thing and I only get ugly girls or girls I am not interested in messaging me, good looking ones don't reply.

Girls get far too much egoboosting from random horny losers who compliment every girl with intention to try get her in bed hence why girls on dating sites think that 'they're it'.

[Lewk]

I always find this with girls over the internet, dating sites or not, when I was looking for housemates last summer, I liked to get to know people a little before I decided if i wanted to live with them, all the guys i spoke to (well, most) I could talk to them for hours if i had the time, but yeah the conversation was plentiful... All the girls I spoke with however, as you say in the OP, the conversation dried up very quickly. :/ It seems I just can't talk to girls!

[Foo.mp3]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
POF's more for gold diggers/attention seeking trolly dollies etc

(Original post by Big Jaffa Cake)
Girls get far too much egoboosting from random horny losers who compliment every girl with intention to try get her in bed hence why girls on dating sites think that 'they're it'

Think collectively we've just about nailed it..

(Original post by Lewk)
All the girls I spoke with however, as you say in the OP, the conversation dried up very quickly. :/ It seems I just can't talk to girls!

Opposite of my experience - got two good lays out of my failed attempts to convince two girls to sublet a room on behalf of some mates via Gumtree *CASHBACK*

(also could've tapped the girl that did end up taking it but she wasn't my type, and would've nailed her friend were it not for the fact that I was in a relationship by that point) God bless Gumtree

[Dragonfly07]

Because the male/female ratio on dating websites is huge and women get a ridiculous amount of messages from lots of different guys.

They don't have to try as hard.

[kat91s]

The problem with dating sites is that you can spend a loooong time on them with no success. And even when the conversation flows online, I've found myself in very awkward situations when the conversation just dries up in person.

[SugarPuffs]

The girls that do message you on these websites will be girls who probably don't get a lot of guys sending them messages (but lets face it, nearly all girls on these websites will get a lot of messages from guys in one day), or girls who are shallow about appearances and send messages to the guys who show their ripped bodies on their profile pictures But yes, the girls on these sites have a lot of choice as to what guy they go for because of the male:female ratio. You'll get more success in real life meeting new girls in a suitable environment (during the daytime, at coffee shops, generally social places, but not nightclubs (unless you're looking for sex only)).

[misst911]

What messages are you sending? If it's the same copied and pasted message over and over, that won't cut it.

You need to read their profile, learn a bit about them, then message saying "Hi, how are you? I see you like to collect door handles, me too! What ones do you have?".

Don't message girls clearly out of your league, they're not going to reply. Don't message girls you think you're too good for either, because quite frankly, they deserve better than that.

(Also if your photo is you holding your shirt up to show your chest, while taking a photo of yourself in your bathroom mirror with your mobile, you will be camouflaged in amongst the other guys.)

[Lucia.]

I know what you mean about dating sites. I use one of the ones you mention, and I get too many messages to reply to all of them. It's a shame because I don't want to be impolite but at the same time I don't want to give false hope, so I simply don't reply or I keep my reply brief if I don't think we have anything in common. I generally put personality a lot higher so if I don't think I'll warm to them then I don't respond. My other reasons for not replying are if the message uses poor grammar/spelling or really brief "how are u babes" etc. If I think someone is moving too quickly then I stop communication. I feel uncomfortable when I'm asked for my phone number after only a couple of messages, or if I get sent two messages in a row because they won't give me space to reply in my own time. I tend to ignore profiles I get a bad vibe from - i.e. men with pictures of their chests and those profiles which read as insecure (e.g. someone apologising for themselves).

I'm very put off by people who sound very shallow. I came across a profile recently which said "I won't date anyone who weighs more than ten stone. I'm a fisherman; not a whale hunter". I'm not naive enough to think that people shouldn't have a weight preference, but on the grounds of common decency, I'm quite offended that someone would make that comment.

[Staceycake]

Thing I find is adding them onto FB so soon is always a fail. Most will scrutinise everything you say on Facebook. In my experiance anyway.
Many guys that have message me go from a basic conversation to sex, which is when I stop replying. Also they tend to not make conversation for long.

Seems many people just never put in the effort and just joined outta interest.
I also know of some people that go on there just to troll or just to get laid.

[jblackmoustache]

Online dating rule number 1: NEVER GIVE OUT THE FACEBOOK IN THE INITIAL STAGES. Just say you aren't on it if she's asking straight away. Giving out BBMs is pathetic too. That's for chavvy kids and 18 year olds who think they're the shizz just because they can get in a bar. Facebook is for friends and not for dates. I only keep close friends, people who I find funny and interesting and family on my FB. Facebook at this stage is too dangerous. It can paint a picture of you which isn't like real life you whatsoever.

Online dating rule number 2: 'HI HOW ARE YOU?' SUCKS. Sending random funny messages has given me more replies. Also focus on her hobbies and ask her about that interesting tattoo she has. If she doesn't like your message then forget that waste of space in make up. The woman you want to date won't take herself seriously and will love a bit of comedy.

Online dating rule number 3: DON'T MESSAGE GIRLS WHO HAVEN'T PUT ANY EFFORT INTO THEIR PROFILE. From experience she most likely isn't going to put any effort into messaging you. If she's put no hobbies aside from 'going out', 'meeting friends', then she's probably not worth the time. Message someone you're genuinely interested in. READ THE PROFILE.

Online dating rule number 4: DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY THE CLEAVAGE SHOTS. Women just desperately use this to get your attention. The one's that the women themselves take are the ones I have beef with. They say lots about her. She's a woman willing to make herself look cheap in order to get more male attention. There are some really nice girls out there who have pictures showing their boobs. Hey, if you got it flaunt it, but lots of ladies showing of their puppies on these sites are attention whores.

Online dating rule number 4: DON'T BELIEVE THAT 'THERE ARE LOADS OF OTHER AMAZING GUYS ON HERE' CRAP. You mr average, mr.geek and mr.nerd have a perfect opportunity here. From talking to women most of the guys that message girls are wanting sex and are incredibly rude. Yeah a lot of guys have the topless photos, but these guys are dicks. Decent women will find them good looking, but won't fall for it. Be the polite gentleman and impress her and be funny and interesting. Don't send her a message saying 'wow i'd love to av dem tits in my face'. It's true that some girls believe that they're out of everyones league but these are the women that get burned. There are quite a few decent ladies in there when you rake out the goldiggers, vain women, whores, bitches, etc.

Online dating rule number 5: DON'T LEAVE THINGS FOR TOO LONG. In the world of online dating it pays to be honest and upfront. Don't beat around the bush, but don't rush things. You'll have to be having a bit of a good convo before you start exchanging numbers. A good opportunity is when you've enjoyed talking and ask each other when you'll be back on. OPPORTUNITY. If she insists on leaving you hanging for a date when you ask at a decent time (a week - two weeks imo. After two weeks you'll never meet) then she's obviously not worth it. She's messing you around and taking her pick from the large bunch of guys she's acquired. There's also a lot of hurt women on POF who are still damaged from past relationships and shouldn't be dating imo. Also GIVE HER A CALL!!! Hearing a voice is impotant to people. Nobody wants a person who's good at computer convo, but rubbish at face to face convo. Some people just don't click face to face even.


Online dating has it's success stories but that's a lucky few.

[pinkangelgirl]

i must admit i noticed that when i gave out my facebook people always assumed i was a slag (because i have some very OTT photos on their from nights out!!

Im not a slag at all, yeh ive kissed a few guys but thats about it. And then these guys just thought i would be a sex object.

Thus, I never give out my facebook to any potential date unless i have met them several times/they know me well enough to know that my photos are not a true reflection of me

[jblackmoustache]

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
i must admit i noticed that when i gave out my facebook people always assumed i was a slag (because i have some very OTT photos on their from nights out!!

Im not a slag at all, yeh ive kissed a few guys but thats about it. And then these guys just thought i would be a sex object.

Thus, I never give out my facebook to any potential date unless i have met them several times/they know me well enough to know that my photos are not a true reflection of me

You can chose not to display pictures you are tagged in on Facebook

It's understandable that some guys will assume things from seeing nothing but OTT nights out and your friends motorboating you in Oceana.

My advice to ladies. Don't suggest sex in pictures if you don't want millions of guys wanting sex. At least with a nice pic you've more chance of scoring a nice guy.

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by jblackmoustache)
You can chose not to display pictures you are tagged in on Facebook

It's understandable that some guys will assume things from seeing nothing but OTT nights out and your friends motorboating you in Oceana.

My advice to ladies. Don't suggest sex in pictures if you don't want millions of guys wanting sex. At least with a nice pic you've more chance of scoring a nice guy.

oh i didnt meant anything that bad lol! theres nothing on there of me with guys or anything.

and the profile pics i put on the dating site were always of me just being normal.

but i will never add a guy on facebook again until he knows the real me!