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Thinking of dropping out

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Reply 80

juliewho

Original post by PinkSprinkles

(and I have an offer for speech sciences at Newcastle in case it all goes tits up!)

Hope it all works out for you at Oxford, but if not, see you there in September :cool:

Reply 81

Kalliope

Original post by PinkSprinkles

Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I did have a collection, I thought I did terribly and walked out early in tears but as it turns out I (just!) passed. I also got an essay back today and one of the comments said "tremendously argued!" so the work is going better. Everything is going better, actually. I rearranged my room to make it more homely, the work is more interesting now that it's not all just Latin grammar, I've been going to counselling to help out with my anxiety and now that people seem to be getting in to the swing of work a little more, I've been seeing more of my friends- who I would actually really miss if I left. It's not great but it's starting to feel... manageable. It's tough but I think I can do it and I think things will keep on getting better. So I'm probably going to stay.

(and I have an offer for speech sciences at Newcastle in case it all goes tits up!)

I remember seeing this thread ages ago. I'm glad to hear it's getting a bit better for you and hope it continues to :smile:

Reply 82

SebCross

Original post by PinkSprinkles

I'm doing Classics at Oxford and I'm thinking of dropping out. I don't like my subject anymore (and I'm not that good at at it) and although I've met some nice people, I feel like my social life is a bit boring- I've only been clubbing about three times since freshers, I think. We don't have any kind of kitchen and no-one hangs out in the common room ever, so we don't really socialise spontaneously, it's always planned in advance. I wish I could leave my room and see people but I don't unless I text them all and ask if they're busy first, and a lot of the time they're working. I'm planning on applying this cycle for Speech and Language Therapy at places like Reading and Newcastle- I wouldn't have to accept any offers until May so I can go do another term at Oxford in the meantime and see how it goes. My family were so incredibly pleased when I got in to Oxford, it feels like I'm going to be a massive disappointment to them if I leave. I had doubts about it before I went, but I kinda got swept along. What do you all think? Am I insane?

Talk things over with your family, your director of studies (sometimes called an academic adviser, academic tutor or personal tutor - the person who has an overview of your academic progress) at Oxford, as well as your friends and maybe even your module tutors. It's good to get lots of different views and reflect deeply before you make such a momentous decision. I personally would think very very hard indeed about leaving an 'Oxford education' behind, but then it doesn't suit everyone.

Ultimately, you need to do what makes you happy.

Reply 83

SebCross

@OP: Just seen your more recent post. I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you and that the work is more interesting. I think that could be the key to it: it's so soul-destroying to be focusing on work that you don't find really fascinating, particularly with the kinds of demands and pressures of Oxford. So I'm glad that the material is more your cup of tea this term. Hoping all continues to go well for you.

Reply 84

Chem1993

I'm glad to see that your feelingmuch better about your course. Hilary term for me had the opposite effect, I hated being there even more than I did after the first term, and so just recently took the decision to drop out. I've applied to do a Mental Health Nursing course at Edge Hill university starting this April instead.

What I would say to others is if you hate it, always try and stick out another term, you might find you feel much better about it, or you'll know for absolute definite that it wasn't for you and in that case you should definitely consider leaving.

Reply 85

RadiantJewel

To be honest your student time is supposed to be one of the best times in your life in terms of social life and going out. I dropped out of a prestigious uni for all the reasons you list and I have not regretted it once. I felt deeply depressed and it is not worth suffering for three years. You can get a perfectly good degree at another university whilst also enjoying your social life!

Reply 86

mournfulpirate

I felt like dropping out for most of my first year (PPE), academic pressure, juggling extra-currics, and some unpleasant characters in my college made it an unhappy experience. What some people say, and others rubbish, is true: 1. Oxford is too useful-as an education and job ticket- to be thrown away and 2. You're here to learn and better yourself so maybe it's worth enduring a poor social life for the benefits.

Reply 87

mournfulpirate

Original post by Chem1993

I always wanted to go to Oxford, I spent years working hard and getting the grades that eventually got me a place to study Chemistry this year and I have to say it's the worst decision I have ever made.

You come here knowing you'll have to work alot, what you don't expect is to work 50-60 hours a week and still feel like you're getting nowhere. I spend hours and hours on work and never get it right, and the tutors don't really help you when you don't understand you're just expected to go away and try again by yourself.

I go to labs where the lab demonstrators offer you no help and if you ask for it they either tell you they're busy or haven't done the lab themselves so don't know how to help you. You have to move everything you own back and forth from home to uni every eight weeks. In short this place drives you insane.

I can understand the poster's new lack of interest in their subject because that's what I feel like right now, the social life is rubbish because your schedule is too packed for you to have much of one. I think you should definitely tell your family again that you're not happy and do what feels right to you, I don't think I'll be sticking it out here any longer.

Oxford does not turn out how you think it will.

Yes, the work is very hard, and you're doing one of the hardest courses here, but think about what an achievement that is. You're a hero! Keep going.

Reply 88

mournfulpirate

Confession (seems we're all doing it in this thread): I have almost no social life at Oxford-mainly because I dislike aimless socializing, small talk etc-but it still makes me miserable. I read threads like this to motivate me, remind me why I'm here, and see that many others feel the same. Back to the problem set...

Reply 89

mournfulpirate

Original post by RadiantJewel

Rubbish. Hardly an ambitious mentality, or one suitable for Oxford.

Reply 90

RadiantJewel

Original post by mournfulpirate

Rubbish. Hardly an ambitious mentality, or one suitable for Oxford.

It has nothing to do with ambition but more with acknowledging that your happiness should come first and btw i am attending oxford next year..
People here underestimate the worth of a good state of mind , which is the key to success just as much as the university you went too. if you are happy and have a fulfilling social life you will do much better at your studies and life in general. It is all about networking too and I don't see how you can do that when you never go out.

Reply 91

mournfulpirate

Original post by RadiantJewel

State of mind is beneficial, of course, and I'm not trying to be negative but the most academically successful students are not 'balanced' in their activities and often not 'happy' in the short-term. They are driven and work very hard, all the best students in my college admit that their work schedule is punishing and difficult but they know it's the way to get best results. Networking is important for some jobs but requires just a few hours a week. Social life does not help studies, how could you even say that?

Reply 92

Incarnadine91

Original post by mournfulpirate

All things in moderation is the best way to go. Taking breaks away from work really does help you, if only by stopping that sense of impending doom that makes you panic and rush whatever it is you're doing. Going mad through overwork never helped anybody. Of course, going out clubbing every night isn't beneficial either - but like I said, moderation! I fully believe that success comes when you a) work hard and b) relax when you need to. Some of my best revision for last year's exams happened during a 6-hour barbeque, interrupted by a water fight. :biggrin:

Of course, it's easier to do that in history than with most other subjects, and for some people breaks are distractions and nothing more, but it depends on the individual. Not everybody reacts the same way to stress.

Overall, you shouldn't expect to have a brilliant social life compared to elsewhere, but if your degree is damaging your mental health then you need to seriously consider whether it's worth it. If it is, it is. If it isn't, then don't stress yourself about that either. Neither immediately dropping out or struggling on regardless is a healty attitude. You can take other people's advice, but ultimately you need to decide what is best for you personally.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 93

Chem1993

Original post by mournfulpirate

Yes, the work is very hard, and you're doing one of the hardest courses here, but think about what an achievement that is. You're a hero! Keep going.

I actually dropped out after Hilary term, and it's the best decision I ever made. Oxford made me totally miserable, I was in tears 2-3 times a week, I struggled with every aspect of the work, even though I spent 50-60 hours a week working. I've just started a Mental Health Nursing course and it is amazing. This is not an easy course either, it's 45 weeks a year, we have to work on placements etc. But the lecturers engage with their pupils rather than just drone on like no on else in the room at all, like it was often the case in Oxford, we still have individual tutorials etc.

I would just say that Oxford is not for everyone, it's incredibly difficult and unless you truly love your subject and have the motivation to do it I wouldn't bother. I had very little social life and pretty much just worked, ate and slept all in my room, it was very depressing. Good luck with your course though.