Hey. My girlfriend and I just split up, and I'm pretty distraught. I can't work, I don't want to sleep or eat... I'm just upset. I don't know what to do at school tomorrow, and I'll have a hell of a time fighting tears back as I go through the day.
So, what do you to get over someone? Right now, I feel like everything's hopeless. Help me, please?
Set some time aside to feel ****, try and be cool in public, or find someone to talk about the break-up until even you're bored of the subject.
Best bet is to try any way to find acceptance that it's over.
For me this was to make sure that it was over, so after about a week of feeling fairly ****, I outright asked her for closures sake if there was any danger whatsoever of us getting back together.
Now I can't read her mind, but just her telling me no (as I expected) helped, it didn't really upset me (the break-up did that) but allowed me to let go of that stupid emo desperation to make things work. People told me to be all cool and epic and awesome and show what a huge dick I had by not talking to her as friends do but at the end of the day I needed that one niggling doubt resolved.
Still feel a bit crap to be fair, but much better than last week.
Plus I now know how another ex of mine felt when I dumped her.
Everyone goes through it OP, find what works for you, but mostly you need some time.
Let all emotions out first. You're bound to feel **** for a bit and those feelings are only going to come round and bite you in the arse if you cover them up. There's no point hiding them, but talk to people that you feel comfortable talking to about it and try not to overreact either.
After you've had a period of feeling rubbish, make sure you have cut all contact with your ex, and get out into the world and keep busy. Facebook is awful when it comes to break-ups and it does you no good to keep them on there. For keeping busy, I find sport is the ultimate way to feel better and it's a great way of meeting people too, if you aren't in a club/team already. If I'm honest, if I didn't have my badminton commitments through my break-up, I think I'd be worse off now.
I've only broken up with 1 person that upset me after it happened, but it was summer and everybody was home from uni so that helped me - also, getting with other people helped a lot. Not been affected by a break up in a few years so I can't offer much help, normally I just go out and find someone new. Broke up with someone recently, but it's actually made me much happier to be out of that relationship and I'm already seeing someone else so it's turned out for the best.
If this is your first big break up, there's not really much you can do but grieve and move on. Don't bottle it up, it'll just bite you in the ass sooner or later and that's the worst thing that can happen.
If you are sure it's completely done remove all traces of her. Unfriend her on facebook, untag all photos of you together, also unfriend any friends of hers who you would only see if you were with her. Thus you won't get any pics of her in your feed. Delete her number off your phone so you aren't tempted to drunk dial/text. When my ex unceremoniously dumped me and informed me had cheated on me I removed all traces of him and felt so much better.
Well as it happens, I am in your situation right now. Just finished with my girlfriend of over a year.
I say that - we broke up a few weeks ago but just had the chat on closure etc a couple of days ago.
To be perfectly honest, I feel fine. I think we both knew it was over for a while and that it wasn't working, so it is not a shock at all. We both realised that we are very different people with very different outlooks on life, so that was the basis of the breakup.
Since it is not unexpected, ended on good terms, and there is no bitterness from either side I am totally fine. If I wasn't, I know I could talk to my friends / family about it but I don't feel the need to do that at all.
Surround yourself with your mates, do all the things you missed out on, get out there and meet new people, and enjoy yourself!
Facebook detox FOR SURE, especially if you went through that palaver of relationship status, breaking up publicly (glad I haven't had to go through that ****, just like being a celebrity) with people saying "What's up hun xxx" and having to explain to everyone why someone dumped you. Urgh!
Then go out and enjoy the freedom that she's "given" you. Meet up with friends that you haven't seen in a while, chat about old times, do things you used to do before her and do some new things too. That's how I got over my ex. I had a great holiday not thinking about sex and no pressure to pull people and take photos to make my ex jealous or whatever (another reason to detox on Facebook, see a pattern here?). No pressure, no worry. When you've calmed down a bit, like getting drunk on drink of your choice and saying what a **** she was, then you can excavate the broken relationship for lessons in the future. Until then, quit digging and cross that bridge later!
This is a bit random.... but when I am subject to a break-up I watch Scrubs. A lot.
When myself and my ex broke up I watched Scrubs solidly for three days. Then after three days at work I was pretty much over the worst of it.
In fact whenever I feel sad I just whip out the old Scrubs box set and it always cheers me up.