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Mental Health Support Society MKVII

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Reply 760
Got an exam on Monday morning, and haven't done any revision today or yesterday :eek: :sad:
Reply 761
Original post by Anonymous
Woooo! A very productive day, well done :smile: :hugs:

I know she doesn't do it intentionally so I know she would be really upset if she knew she was doing anything to upset me. I'll just try my best to ignore it.

I have 12 exams starting next Thursday and I have done absolutely no revision whatsoever. I hate myself for it and the guilt will definitely kick in soon but I just don't care. :rolleyes:


Thanks :hugs:
Really want more tea but really shouldn't. Today I have had 4 cups and 2 flasks worth. :colondollar:

Maybe it would still be best if someone could gently mention it though.

Just try to remember it's not your fault. :console:
if it's possible I think I actually feel alienated from my own existence and the world I live in.
For the second day in a row I have gone to the bar by myself....
I don't think I've hugged anybody in about 3 months.

*High fives*
Reply 764
Original post by Webberino
Thanks :hugs:
Really want more tea but really shouldn't. Today I have had 4 cups and 2 flasks worth. :colondollar:

Maybe it would still be best if someone could gently mention it though.

Just try to remember it's not your fault. :console:


Wow someone likes their tea...:tongue:
Reply 765
Original post by Lewk
Wow someone likes their tea...:tongue:


It may be getting slightly out of hand :ninja:
Original post by SciFiBoy
if it's possible I think I actually feel alienated from my own existence and the world I live in.


I think I know how you feel. I look in the mirror and don't recognise myself these days. My therapist told me that "negative thoughts happen to you, they aren't who you are" which just makes me wonder which of my thoughts are actually mine and which are just "happening to me". The world/society completely baffles and overwhelms me. None of it makes any sense to me; it all feels incredibly distant and surreal.
Reply 767
Original post by DamnDirtyGrapes
For the second day in a row I have gone to the bar by myself....
I don't think I've hugged anybody in about 3 months.

*High fives*


:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Not as good I know .... but the best I could do!
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Nut.
Yeah mine seems to be the same.

Knowing all of you lot, sometimes it's safer to keep you at internet-length. :tongue:

Although I did mention camping to them, and they seemed happy with that. :h:


Nonsense :tongue: Now, that Wolf I can understand, but are the rest of us not lovely? :puppyeyes:

They do seem to like me doing things involving real people, I seem to be allowed to go and see you, but not talk to you online - apparently the internet corrupts people :frown:

*****

In other news, my appointment with my psych was a waste of time tbh.

Original post by Sabertooth
Why does no one sit by me on the bus? :cry2:

Do I smell or look weird or crazy or something else?

What is it?

The bus was full today, there wasn't a single spare seat, then it stopped and maybe 5 people got off, so I sat down and no one sat next to me for the rest of the journey, despite a load of people standing in the aisle - a few people looked but they did not sit. WHY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????? :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:


You are too good looking.

True fact: You are 5 times less likely to have someone sit next to you if you are hot, as they are too scared.

*****

I know I have now wrote about myself twice in different places, but bite me :tongue:

personal, not to mention exactly happy, don't want bring down anyone's mood :p

Original post by Anonymous
I think I know how you feel. I look in the mirror and don't recognise myself these days. My therapist told me that "negative thoughts happen to you, they aren't who you are" which just makes me wonder which of my thoughts are actually mine and which are just "happening to me". The world/society completely baffles and overwhelms me. None of it makes any sense to me; it all feels incredibly distant and surreal.


yes, this is exactly how I feel too, so much of life seems to be a question of "is this something I am part of or just observing?" I think the truth sadly is that we are little more than spectators to much of the reality we live in, half the time I feel like I am not living my life, but more that I am a powerless observer of a reality that I have found myself in :frown: everything about the world/society confuses me, I don't feel part of this world, or of this society, I feel like an outsider, like an alien forced against my will to observer powerlessly the world around me. sorry if what im saying makes little sense :cry2:
Original post by SciFiBoy
yes, this is exactly how I feel too, so much of life seems to be a question of "is this something I am part of or just observing?" I think the truth sadly is that we are little more than spectators to much of the reality we live in, half the time I feel like I am not living my life, but more that I am a powerless observer of a reality that I have found myself in :frown: everything about the world/society confuses me, I don't feel part of this world, or of this society, I feel like an outsider, like an alien forced against my will to observer powerlessly the world around me. sorry if what im saying makes little sense :cry2:


Don't worry, I know exactly what you mean. Not living, but just existing. It's horrible because I don't know if I want to be a part of the world in its current format :s-smilie: I think we just need to go and live in the middle of nowhere!

It's really confusing because whilst I'm not really functioning as part of society at the moment, and the medication and the counselling/therapy is supposed to help with that, I don't know if I actually want to be a functioning member of a society that I don't agree or identify with. I dunno if that's just paranoia talking, but sometimes I feel like all these things which are supposed to "help" are just brainwashing me back into thinking that things like studying are important.

I hate not knowing what I want. I hate not being able to tell anyone about these things because they'll just reassure me that they're helping me and I'm just being silly. I wish I knew what to trust and who to believe :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Don't worry, I know exactly what you mean. Not living, but just existing. It's horrible because I don't know if I want to be a part of the world in its current format :s-smilie: I think we just need to go and live in the middle of nowhere!

It's really confusing because whilst I'm not really functioning as part of society at the moment, and the medication and the counselling/therapy is supposed to help with that, I don't know if I actually want to be a functioning member of a society that I don't agree or identify with. I dunno if that's just paranoia talking, but sometimes I feel like all these things which are supposed to "help" are just brainwashing me back into thinking that things like studying are important.

I hate not knowing what I want. I hate not being able to tell anyone about these things because they'll just reassure me that they're helping me and I'm just being silly. I wish I knew what to trust and who to believe :frown:


I sometimes think would be easier to just get away from everything yeah, though I do have some friends and people I like, I guess even with them I don't often feel like I "belong" as such if that makes sense?

I start counselling and therapy soon (supposedly but with waiting times here I don't hold out much hope), but yeah I worry that the things they will want me to do to "be happy" will mean having to change fundamentally who I am as a person and the things I value, but those are the only things that really give me any semblance of a meaning to my life :frown: and yeah I don't know I would want to be part of society or reality in that way either, it doesn't seem right to me and I don't want to have to become that which I despise in order to not be depressed either.

is annoying yeah, having no clear direction and stuff makes it hard to see much point in life I find, but at the same time would I really want to go down a direction I don't like for the sake of it? I am not sure I would tbh. mm, is not good if people who are trying to help you don't understand and tell you you are being silly, I mean if it is silly then I guess at least you know you aren't the only silly person around! :hugs:
Reply 772
Original post by SciFiBoy
yes, this is exactly how I feel too, so much of life seems to be a question of "is this something I am part of or just observing?" I think the truth sadly is that we are little more than spectators to much of the reality we live in, half the time I feel like I am not living my life, but more that I am a powerless observer of a reality that I have found myself in :frown: everything about the world/society confuses me, I don't feel part of this world, or of this society, I feel like an outsider, like an alien forced against my will to observer powerlessly the world around me. sorry if what im saying makes little sense :cry2:


What you've said reminds me of a quote: ... 'we humans are not a part of (the beautiful world).
Look at us. We're all born lost, aren't we? We're all born separated from God - over and over life makes sure to inform us of this - and yet we're all real: we have names, we have lives. We mean something. We must. My heart is so cold. And I feel so lost. I shed my block of hate but what if nothing emerges to fill in the hole it left? The universe is so large, and the world is so glorious, but here I am on a sunny August morning with chilled black ink pumping through my veins, and I feel like the unholiest thing on earth.'

A long quote... I was going to spoiler it but I can't find the bracket things on my phone :colondollar:. I'm not sure if that makes sense with what you are saying but it always gets me :cry2:
Reply 773
I feel so sad. I have been crying for ages.

I am just so tired and sick of everything.

What is the point?

I look in the mirror and it feels like I am looking at a stranger. I hate how it feels like I have been losing a part of myself.

I miss the old me, the one who could laugh and joke and not have a care in the world. I hate who I am now. I know I didn't choose it but I feel like I have a personal fault. I just want to not feel sad and hopeless.

I feel trapped and alone and scared.

Urg sorry for the 'poor me' rant.

I'm going to try and sleep. Goodnight and I hope everyone is ok.
Albeit some wobbly times, I've been feeling rather okay these last few days :h:
Original post by ViceVersa
Albeit some wobbly times, I've been feeling rather okay these last few days :h:


Glad to hear :hugs:
Original post by rmhumphries
Glad to hear :hugs:


Thank you :h: hope you are too!
I have had to drop out of doing exams again. Going into my old school today was hellish. The teacher's were very snarky and pretty much blamed me. They said it was my decison not to do the work. I am pretty sure the word descison constiutes an ablity to do otherwise and I couldn't have done otherwise, because I am sick. Walking down the road home afterwards everyone kept staring at me. When I looked in the mirror when I got back I saw why: I looked crazy. I have purple under my eyes from not sleeping and my eyelids are brusined from crying so much. I nearly ODed but ended up chicking out. Even though I still feel wretched I'm glad I didn't. I guess I've just got to go back to rebuilding my life, this time realiseing that despite the fact that everyone else is telling me that I could get better if I tried and wanted to, I can't and I need medication and professional help or something. Unfortnaly I am estranged from all mental health services here. I guess I shall go and try and get some work or something, even though my self esteem is so shot I don't even feel ready to apply for charity shop work in case I screw it up. I really, really really wanted to go to uni this year. Literally my whole life is built around me wanting to study. I am very lonely right now, all my friends are away during term time. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless. At least before I thought that people would help me out and I would get better. Now it feels like this is a long term problem and nobody cares. The teacher at school said it to me:"You're twenty years old, an adult, nobody's going to look after you anymore" The problem is I can't look after myself, and now that nobody cares, who's going to make sure I don't fall through the cracks?

Sorry for this miserable ramble. I feel shot to bits.
Reply 778
Original post by Violet_apple
I have had to drop out of doing exams again. Going into my old school today was hellish. The teacher's were very snarky and pretty much blamed me. They said it was my decison not to do the work. I am pretty sure the word descison constiutes an ablity to do otherwise and I couldn't have done otherwise, because I am sick. Walking down the road home afterwards everyone kept staring at me. When I looked in the mirror when I got back I saw why: I looked crazy. I have purple under my eyes from not sleeping and my eyelids are brusined from crying so much. I nearly ODed but ended up chicking out. Even though I still feel wretched I'm glad I didn't. I guess I've just got to go back to rebuilding my life, this time realiseing that despite the fact that everyone else is telling me that I could get better if I tried and wanted to, I can't and I need medication and professional help or something. Unfortnaly I am estranged from all mental health services here. I guess I shall go and try and get some work or something, even though my self esteem is so shot I don't even feel ready to apply for charity shop work in case I screw it up. I really, really really wanted to go to uni this year. Literally my whole life is built around me wanting to study. I am very lonely right now, all my friends are away during term time. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless. At least before I thought that people would help me out and I would get better. Now it feels like this is a long term problem and nobody cares. The teacher at school said it to me:"You're twenty years old, an adult, nobody's going to look after you anymore" The problem is I can't look after myself, and now that nobody cares, who's going to make sure I don't fall through the cracks?

Sorry for this miserable ramble. I feel shot to bits.


What do you mean by 'estranged from the mental health services'?

It really sounds like you need to be in contact with them.
Original post by laut_biru
What do you mean by 'estranged from the mental health services'?

It really sounds like you need to be in contact with them.


They were totally useless and weren't offering me anything. They said I was 'overly dependant' on services and so stopped giving me appointments unless I was toeing the 'need to be hospitalised' line. I don't understand how I could be 'overly dependant' when not having any support. Really I need ongoing therapy or something to help me cope with life. They just treated me like a clingy and attention-seeking child and took great pleasure in telling me the only reason I was allowed to access services was because my GP liked me and really I wasn't sick enough. *shrug* Basically I think they are just cheap. the social worker there was really unprofessional and just told me to pull myself together, so I stopped going...

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