[Otkem]

Recently I lent a friend £750 to get them out of some financial difficulty as they were having to hide from their landlord when he came to collect his rent after they'd cancelled the standing order to pay it. The money I lent them got them out of their rent arrears which was all well and good, and we agreed that they'd pay me back £100 a month. They were fine giving me the first month's £100 back, but the second month came and I noticed that the money hadn't gone in and I phoned them and they said that they'd put a cheque in the mail. This was 3 weeks ago and that cheque hasn't arrived. I rang them about a week after they'd lied to me and said that, and got fobbed off again. Last night though was the final straw because I saw that they'd been bragging on FB that they'd had bailiffs at the door (for a parking fine that they didn't pay and refused to pay the fine after it escalated to a lot more, I think it was about £300) and had just stood in the bedroom window mooning them. I rang them and said that I'd had enough but had to listen to some sob story, and they've agreed to pay back £1 a week. I said 'yes ok' but I don't know whether I'm being too generous, because they always seem to be going out and getting drunk etc. Whereas I expected to have the money back by about September/October (I lent it to them in March), now it will be years before I see it again. Would I be able to take action about this, such as through the civil courts? I don't want to sound harsh, but I'm really not a charity and don't want to lose £650.

[DancinBallerina]

Have you got anything in writing to say you and that individual agreed to paying said amount? . .If not, don't think you got a leg to stand on, it's a civil dispute!

[Michaelj]

Unfortunately unless you have it as official then you can't legally get a penny back... So I'd bang them out or damage their car or something.

[blahblah772]

Sounds like a job for Judge Judy

[Michaelj]

(Original post by blahblah772)
Sounds like a job for Judge Judy

Judge Judy or Jeremy Kyle? At least Jeremy lives in the uk and he'll scream abuse at the ops dickish friends.

[NB_ide]

(Original post by Otkem)
I'm really not a charity and don't want to lose £650.

Then why did you give it to them?

The sad fact is that people who get into financial difficulties are, 99% of the time, going to continue to be **** with money. They are a bottomless pit and any money they get just vanishes. I feel sorry for you, I was just as naive not so long ago and thought that you could actually lend money to people and get it back, but that's not how the world works. Most people are out to rob each other, given the chance. You'll be lucky to see a penny of that remaining £650.

Give it to people, if you like. But lending it to desperate people who have pissed away all the rest of their money is like lending some sausages to a hungry dog. And however trustworthy or friendly you think they are, once there's money involved it will turn really nasty and the longer that passes, the more right they think they have to keep it all

Depending on what sort of people they are, you might be better off dropping it. I lent money to someone who is quite aggressive and well-connected among scumbags and violent types. I pushed to get it back but was quickly discouraged from doing so...


Anyway. Lesson learned, eh? These days the only time I'll consider lending money is if they will give me something valuable as collateral.

"Mate, can I borrow £50 mate I swear I'll pay u back next week"
"Sure, if you give me your camera to hold until we swap back"
"Mate nah **** that mate lol brb"

[Unknown?]

Hope you learn not to trust dumb ass friends again.

[NB_ide]

p.s. the more aggressive you are, the less likely you are to get it back - no one wants to pay someone they don't like. Your only hope is to be friendly and nice, don't mention it for a while. Remain "friends" with them, and then attempt to "rob" them discreetly as soon as you can.

[Michaelj]

(Original post by NB_ide)
p.s. the more aggressive you are, the less likely you are to get it back - no one wants to pay someone they don't like. Your only hope is to be friendly and nice, don't mention it for a while. Remain "friends" with them, and then attempt to "rob" them discreetly as soon as you can.

I disagree tbh... If you make yourself seem soft and weak then they're gonna try and walk over you. But being aggressive like you said won't help matters either.

[NB_ide]

(Original post by Michaelj)
I disagree tbh... If you make yourself seem soft and weak then they're gonna try and walk over you. But being aggressive like you said won't help matters either.

Basically if you're going to be aggressive you better be REALLY aggressive and prepared to back it up. If you're willing to physically threaten them, and can pull that off and not just get laughed at and then stabbed, it might work. But chances are the OP is the submissive friend in this situation and the other guy is dominant and won't be intimidated.

A great example is in a house I used to live in. The most aggressive and "violent" (he never touched anyone) guy there paid our phone bill for us and we paid him back. One guy ran up a £40 bill and didn't mention it, so Mr. Aggressive went and shouted at him like ****, had the other guy in tears, literally. He got the cash the next day and that was that.

In a separate incident, the crying pussy asked to borrow £50 for train fare. Being kind and stupid, I handed it over, and then never really pressed for it back. Then one day he moved out. I spoke with him online a few times and it became clear I was never getting that money back.

So I was at the bottom of the totem pole there, tbh. I'm too calm to really get angry at people. I actually went round to someone's house to collect another debt and they just went absolutely mental at me as if it was me who owed them, threatening to hit me and stuff. It was crazy. Dominant personality.

Pussies like me will be ****ed in the ass forever, it's our job.

[Little Hobbit]

Alternatively, be 'nice' to him, be his 'friend', but every time you go to house house pinch something until you have £650 worth of stuff.

He won't notice...

[Michaelj]

Yeah to offer £1 a week is an insult tbh, i'd take it as an insult if it was £1 a day.

[enigma1122]

That must be so frustrating, but really you should know better not to lend large amounts of money to friends. There is a reason why the bank won't take the risk, so why would you. Its one of the basic things my parents taught me before i went to university.
At least you learnt a lesson though! Im not sure about if there is a process that you can use to get it back, but good luck.

[Ice Constricter]

Your money is gone, you aint getting it back and the guy sounds like a tool.

But seriously I'd threaten them if they owed me that much and kept coming up with pathetic excuses. **** like this shouldn't be tolerated, your 'friend' needs to be clipped in the jaw.

[jd66]

Double post

[jd66]

You could pay £100 to someone a lot bigger than them to go round and have a word if you know anyone, then you'll get £550 back although by all means don't pay the £100 up front.

[fleesaurus]

I would only lend money to someone who doesn't have a past habit of borrowing money and never returning it, and I would demand this person to sign on a paper with a witness present to say I lent money. Only a fool lends over £50 to a 'friend' without evidence so you can forcefully get it back later if s/he refuses.

[NB_ide]

(Original post by fleesaurus)
I would only lend money to someone who doesn't have a past habit of borrowing money and never returning it, and I would demand this person to sign on a paper with a witness present to say I lent money. Only a fool lends over £50 to a 'friend' without evidence so you can forcefully get it back later if s/he refuses.

Even "evidence" won't be enough - so you could take them to court, but then what? They won't enforce it unless you pay for bailiffs, who are utterly powerless anyway.

I recommend securing the loan against a saleable possession of theirs so you can put it on eBay when they default on the loan.

[FrostyLemon]

I had to learn the hard way, I'm still owed a couple of hundred quid by a former colleague of mine and I know I'm never getting it back. I don't lend money out to people anymore, not substantial sums like that. The thing that pissed me off in this case, is the person I lent the money to was shafted themselves by their own friend for the same amount lol! You'd think after hearing someone's sob story about being mugged off they wouldn't do it to you ha. The cheek.

You probably aren't going to get it back, you could kick the **** out of them, but I would just erase the person from your life and don't even give them the courtesy of eye contact.

[bumble_bee_zee]

My dad always says that the fastest way to lose someone in your life is to lend them vast amounts of money. I learnt the hard way with this. I lent someone 300 quid, and it took her a year and a half to pay me back. She would pretend she'd sent me the money but never did, and i got very fed up as she'd continuously go on holiday etc. Finally got my money back after threatening to divulge lots of information about her to her bf. And even then it wasn't the full amount. Suffice to say, we're no longer friends!

You have to decide that you either let it go and forget the money or fight tooth and nail to get it back. I'd say the second option as its the principle of the thing that matters here. They're being douches!!!