Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Mark my coursebook please

Announcements Posted on
    • Thread Starter
    • 2 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    Please could you give this coursework a mark out of 20 please
    Gcse English Literature Controlled Assessment
    Who are the real victims of the novel and how does Steinbeck present their struggle? Look at how their lives are affected by the age they lived in which is 1930s America

    Steinbeck’s novel of Mice and Men is a tale of two friends: George and Lennie who come seeking work on a ranch hoping to make a living as migrant farmers in America during the 1930s. Throughout the novel, we come across many individuals suffering from some sort of burden that they can find no easy way to escape from; victims, but due to no fault of their own creation. Steinbeck portrays these victims in a variety of ways, from supressed and desperate to secluded and flirtatious. Also, the range of things they are victims of including sexism, racism and ageism. The novel shows how life would have been for someone suffering from those problems during the era.
    One character that stands out as a victim in this novel is Curley’s wife. A flirtatious married woman, all the men on the ranch are keen to avoid her. Being seen with her means having to deal with Curley: the boss’s son, a situation which none of the men want to be in. Like many of the characters in the ranch she has fallen victim to loneliness; alienated as a result of her gender and married status. The writer presents her as more of a possession of Curley than a woman in her own right. We are given a glimpse of this when George, having met Curley’s wife says “so that’s what Curley picks for a wife.” The use of the word “what,” instead of the “who” implies that she is merely an object and not a human. The word “picks” also makes it seem like she is an object of Curley simply picked out, no suggestion of an emotion basis to the relationship. Another contributing factor to her loneliness is the fact that she is the only woman on the ranch. This isolates her even more as the only person she can be seen with in Curley who although she is married to does not love or even like. This is made more than obvious by Steinbeck when she says “I don’t like Curley, he aint a nice fella.”
    Crooks: the negro stable buck, is clearly a victim in this novel. A victim of racism, he is secluded and forced to live in the outskirts of the society and similar to Curley’s wife he has with little communication with anyone. As a black person living in 1930s America before the civil rights movement he is placed at the bottom of society even though he is intelligent which is signified in the book where it states he has “a tattered dictionary and a mauled copy of the California civil code of 1905.” That fact that the dictionary is “tattered” displays that it has been used regularly and that possibly Crooks is an avid reader. Having his “mauled copy of the California civil code” shows he would be aware the few rights he had as an African-American in this period. His isolation and loneliness stretches so far that he is willing to give to Lennie even though he is aware that Lennie is not listening to a word he is saying which is effectively like talking to himself. His place in society is so low that his obedience is demanded even by Curley’s wife who is treated like the plague by all the other men on the ranch. This is shown when He tries to stand up to Curley’s wife and get her to leave his room but Curley’s wife puts him in his place, reminding him of the power she holds over him, “you know what I could do it you open your trap”. Crooks’ reaction displays he is visibly shaken “Crooks seemed to grow smaller, and press himself against the wall” this can be looked as for crooks retreating back to the edge of society and once more becoming overlooked.

    + conclusion

    tried to get this marked on another thread but no one replied
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    It's really good, just a few things I thought of, that you could add:

    -A tiny thing you could add: you could talk about how Curley's wife you isn't given an actual name
    -Clearly talk about the Great Depression and maybe how this affected people's lives at the time
    -The social hierarchy on the ranch


    Hope I helped,

    Good luck
    • Thread Starter
    • 2 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Fj-K)
    It's really good, just a few things I thought of, that you could add:

    -A tiny thing you could add: you could talk about how Curley's wife you isn't given an actual name
    -Clearly talk about the Great Depression and maybe how this affected people's lives at the time
    -The social hierarchy on the ranch


    Hope I helped,

    Good luck
    any guesses on a mark out of 20? and thanks
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    15/20? A B grade. I think you could get a much higher mark if you are more detailed with your language analysis, and also, you've only got one paragraph? You seriously cannot get above a B if you've only got one paragraph.
    Ensure that you are SECSI throughout (Statement, Evidence, Comment, Scheme of things, Interpretation), or PEE throughout (Point, Evidence, Explanation).
    • 5 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I thought it was pretty good, I would've given it an A and with a few tweaks you have potential for making that piece get an A*.
    • Thread Starter
    • 2 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ArtisticFlair)
    15/20? A B grade. I think you could get a much higher mark if you are more detailed with your language analysis, and also, you've only got one paragraph? You seriously cannot get above a B if you've only got one paragraph.
    Ensure that you are SECSI throughout (Statement, Evidence, Comment, Scheme of things, Interpretation), or PEE throughout (Point, Evidence, Explanation).
    not 1 paragraph its three plus the unwritten conculsion
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I would give it a C or low B

    If this is coursework with an unlimited time frame its far too short. You haven't answered one of the main parts of the question really: how their lives are affected by the age they lived in which is 1930s

    I mean really its good but in my opinion its only around a quarter of the essay it really is far too short. I done something similar under timed conditions and I done wrote at least four times what you have up there (I know the conclusion is still to come but a conclusion is exactly that, you conclude and round up your points no extra points should be made inside that conclusion)
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    0

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: May 11, 2012
New on TSR

So how did you do?

Come into the GCSE forum to share your grades

Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.