WTF is going on?

(Was going to anon, but sod it lol)

Right, going to try and keep this as short, brief and to the point as much as I can.

Met a guy online, we instantly hit it off. Chatted every single day, until we met. We had a amazing date, and then spent the night chatting and smooching. We continued texting thereafter, met again at the weekend. This time it didn't really seem like a date, felt more like we'd known each other ages and again we were lovey dovey, literally inseparable. I invited him round, we didn't have sex, but just chilled, watched tv and had lil smooches.

A few days thereafter he asked me to be his gf, to which I thought ''Wow that's quick'', but we literally got on so well and etc, I thought ''why not?''. The following evening we went out, had a lovely date night and etc, and were very lovey dovey when leaving. We have talked about sex a lot, and agreed to wait a while, however that went out the window! Ok the sex wasn't brilliant but I wasn't expecting it to be due to being new partner, and not having been sexually active for sometime and etc. However the following day things changed! I was suppose to be seeing him that night, he said he wasn't up to seeing me, but things just seemed 'odd'. I saw him the following day and things seemed alright; again lovey dovey during the day until we got back to his place where he instantly changed; was cold towards me hardly spoke and I felt incredibly unwanted. I therefore took myself off home to save embarrassment!

Ever since then he's hardly spoken to me the past 5 days, which as a result I am extremely confused; I have absolutely no idea what it is going on. I have asked twice what is going on and I get the same response - which doesn't say yes or no if we're still in a r'ship! I took things in my own hands this evening, and again I got the same response.

Thing is I fancy the pants off him, and although I have mentioned the whole thing to friends and my mum, everyone has said to get rid of him (which I tried), but im still left hanging! :/ One thing I do feel though is used and taken for a fool; because he knows full well that I purposely saved myself to have sex with someone in a relationship, and that im not into being used, which is exactly how it feels. Even that I mentioned to him, and again he gave me the same response!

So does anyone have any idea as to what is going on? Any advice would be much appreciated, seeing as im not getting answers for my own bf/ex bf :dontknow:

(see I don't even know what he is) :cool:

(edited 11 years ago)

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Anyone? :-/

Sounds like he wanted you for sex.

Reply 3

username94219

Original post by Colour Me Pretty

Sounds like he wanted you for sex.

That's what I'm beginning to think as well. Although (not trying to stick up for him) he sounded quite surprised last night when I said about finishing it :-/.

I'm so confused :-(

Reply 4

rab22

Original post by DancinBallerina

That's what I'm beginning to think as well. Although (not trying to stick up for him) he sounded quite surprised last night when I said about finishing it :-/.

I'm so confused :-(

he wanted it to last for a bit...wanted a bit more...u kno...
and da guy he sounds like...trust me he doesnt like being dumped...
hes da one who dumps ....trust me on this one

Reply 5

username94219

Original post by rab22

he wanted it to last for a bit...wanted a bit more...u kno...
and da guy he sounds like...trust me he doesnt like being dumped...
hes da one who dumps ....trust me on this one

So what I just gotta shut up, say nothing and wait for him to dump ME? Don't think so! I mentioned it last night so he must have an inkling I'm losing patience, getting fed up which I said! But he replied with his fav. saying "Let me sort my head out" - wtf?????

ARGHHHHHH I hate not knowing what is going on - I want closure on it so I can move on.

Oh yea only had sex with him once - so "wanting a bit more..." dont think that really applies here.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 6

rab22

Original post by DancinBallerina

hun no offence yeah...
i will tell you what has happened here n if m right just say so...
u2 love birds got along quite well..
nd u felt smfng....like a spark...
he was nice..lovely and caring...
nd in a short amnt of time u2 hit it off...
dats when fngs went south right ????

Reply 7

Saluki-Sake

I'm really sorry, but it's quite obvious... He just used you for sex... He was all nice and charming and now he's got what he wanted he's bored of you. The only reason he stopped you from dumping him was because of his ego; he doesn't want to get dumped he wants to dump you.. Or he isn't even gonna bother dumping you and just continue acting cold and ignoring you 'til you go away :s-smilie:

I'm really sorry, but this is textbook behaviour :P Dump him now before he dumps you.

Reply 8

irdan

Do people actually talk like that rab22?

Reply 9

BigNastyTyrone

Man that guy is a master can you give me his number?

Reply 10

username94219

Original post by Saluki-Sake

I'm really sorry, but this is textbook behaviour :P Dump him now before he dumps you.

Yea, I've come to that conclusion. But what I don't get is my FB acc't got deleted, he messaged saying "U deleted me from FB?" I said "No", but he insisted I did. My acct was reinstated however the last few people who I recently added vanished. So I had to re add inc. him - he accepted my request, no problem. If he wanted nothing more to do with me, why accept the req. UNLESS it's a ploy - start off friendly and then eventually remove my request when he's finally got the balls to finish with me properly?? (which I have, in my book as of Tuesday, well sent him a message and he didn't 'get the hint', until I was blunt yesterday).

I feel like such an idiot :-(, and I don't deserve this. I don't hurt people, so why do people hurt me? :-(

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 11

xPipkinx

He knew you wouldn't sleep with him unless you were in a relationship with him hence why he asked you to be his girlfriend so quick, probably just wanted the sex. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but it sounds like he got what he wanted and is done with you!

Reply 12

username94219

Original post by rab22

Yes, things went good for 2 weeks (when I met him), was talking to him loads before I met him and it was good. The sex happened less than a week into the new bf/gf relationship! :/

Reply 13

username94219

Original post by xPipkinx

No, no I had my doubts from the 'day after' the nookie occurred that things weren't right!

Ah well :dontknow:

lesson learnt = learn to keep my guard firmly up, NEVER ever trust a man ever again and keep a firm grip on my knickers!

Reply 14

username94219

LoL Ah well . .at least I had a bit of sex! lol :ninjagirl:

Reply 15

Saluki-Sake

Original post by DancinBallerina

:/ It's probably so that you don't dump him, he's probably cottoned on to the fact you are thinking about it... And it looks like it's working, you're confused and think he still likes you so you aren't ending it.. so yeah, a ploy.. I'm really sorry, hope you're okay :/

Aww don't worry, everyone makes mistakes, and now you'll know what to look out for next time :smile:

I'm sure you don't deserve this, but he doesn't care, and there are a lot of people in this world like him who are too selfish to care who they hurt... you just need to be very careful when you start a new relationship, okay? :smile:

If you don't think sex means anything, then that's fine, but if you do think it means something then maybe you should just wait a bit longer before you get intimate with someone.. but either way, it's a learning experience, and now hopefully you won't find yourself in this situation again :smile:

Reply 16

Sophiemaybabe

he wants you for sex hun xx

Reply 17

SansMerci

Original post by DancinBallerina

LoL Ah well . .at least I had a bit of sex! lol :ninjagirl:

This.
Don't think of it as any more than a casual fling.
That way, you won't struggle to dump him.

Dump him.

Reply 18

username94219

Original post by Saluki-Sake

Ahh okey dokey, thanks for explaining. I'm so confused right now, I don't know what to think, say. I've not said anything to him allday, and vice versa, and I will leave it like that - if he gets in touch, then so be it! But not saying another word! What hurts is the fact I said from the day one ''I do not like being used, so if that's your motive, then piss off'' . . obv. didn't bat an eyelid, and I fell for it hook line and sinker! :/

Yes, definitely will be a lot more observant, careful with who I get involved with. Will definitely not put out so quickly, and will spend more time getting to know the bloke better, rather than their anatomy!

...Ey, after several years of nothing, @ least I managed to dust out a few cobwebs! lol :p: