[acecoffee]

the last few night i start to hear some noise , almost like a person whisper and some noise as if something is in my room . tonight i turn on the light and notice my hamster is walking on the floor making those noise ,
but after it is gone , i still keep thinking there's something in my room , and i still hear someone trying to talk to me . not anything pacific atm , just got this sense someone ,an old women want to talk to me .and at time i hear a sentence or two .

almost alway at night time atm . and i am really panicking right now . i had 2 psychotic episode like this before and it always start of just a little bit strange or some voice and it always end up getting more frequent and then if worst ,i would have to be watch 24/7 because every minute i m awake i will be following the instruction of the voice or believing what my delusion tell me completely then do something that put myself at great risk.

i feel like another psychotic episode is on my way,i will then be either on high dose of med which make me very sedated ,as well as become more agressive , irritable and depresed . but my mum is returning from hoilday soon and she never saw how bad i could have get during those time . i often end up in hospital and home treatment team while i m in my episode .

another issue is i will be going on hoilday soon for a whole 2 month and visit some relative on the way . but i m going to be in so much **** and gossip topic if i done anything stupid and they spread across the family faster then the internet . i will be so embrassed and ashame .and not only that , how m i suppose to be able to communicate with hospital staff if i need to go into hospital where they do not understand english . my history is very long and it is going to be extremely complicated to explain .

i am prob thinking way too much or i might get better soon , but i m going to my gp tomorrow , the thing is , i was going there to get the ESA unfit to work note , and i dont want them to think i m a fraud , so is it better not to mention it to restart on anti-psychotic and just hope it all will turn out the best ??

[Sabertooth]

I reckon you should start back on antipsychotics as soon as possible. If this is another psychotic episode, and it sounds like it might be, you want to get things sorted quickly and not **** about. My psychotic episodes also start with a whisper but then, as you know yourself, things deteriorate pretty quick.

There's a chance that if you get antipsychotics now they might kick in before your holiday. I know it's a horrible feeling to be drugged up on them but it's probably better than a psychotic episode where you can't tell what's real or not and feel compelled to act on the voices' commands.

I also understand your fears about your family finding out, but I think, again, if you get drugs quickly you might be able to avoid that. Of course it's not guaranteed but the chance is probably higher than just hoping that everything sorts itself out. You said you had 2 psychotic episodes before, with that in mind, things probably aren't simply going to sort themselves out.

I hope you get the help you need soon. I realize how tough this must be for you right now.

[mld]

(Original post by acecoffee)
the last few night i start to hear some noise , almost like a person whisper and some noise as if something is in my room . tonight i turn on the light and notice my hamster is walking on the floor making those noise ,
but after it is gone , i still keep thinking there's something in my room , and i still hear someone trying to talk to me . not anything pacific atm , just got this sense someone ,an old women want to talk to me .and at time i hear a sentence or two .

almost alway at night time atm . and i am really panicking right now . i had 2 psychotic episode like this before and it always start of just a little bit strange or some voice and it always end up getting more frequent and then if worst ,i would have to be watch 24/7 because every minute i m awake i will be following the instruction of the voice or believing what my delusion tell me completely then do something that put myself at great risk.

i feel like another psychotic episode is on my way,i will then be either on high dose of med which make me very sedated ,as well as become more agressive , irritable and depresed . but my mum is returning from hoilday soon and she never saw how bad i could have get during those time . i often end up in hospital and home treatment team while i m in my episode .

another issue is i will be going on hoilday soon for a whole 2 month and visit some relative on the way . but i m going to be in so much **** and gossip topic if i done anything stupid and they spread across the family faster then the internet . i will be so embrassed and ashame .and not only that , how m i suppose to be able to communicate with hospital staff if i need to go into hospital where they do not understand english . my history is very long and it is going to be extremely complicated to explain .

i am prob thinking way too much or i might get better soon , but i m going to my gp tomorrow , the thing is , i was going there to get the ESA unfit to work note , and i dont want them to think i m a fraud , so is it better not to mention it to restart on anti-psychotic and just hope it all will turn out the best ??

I agree with sabretooth, I think you need the antipsychotics asap, I take aripiprazole (abilify) and I can teach taking it - without it the voices get too bad!! You know what I mean

If you get on the meds again, you could find a lower dose looks after you before you go downhill too much, and I know family is much quicker than the internet - it's annoying. But tell them that diabetics need their insulin and I need my antipsychotics. The sooner we get rid of the stigma associated with mental illness the better.