[meow444]

Ok so here's the deal. I went into uni today to ask if I could submit my work for this semester (my dissertation and a couple of essays) in the August resit period as for the first time. The uni are going to let me I think, but my DPD made me feel so bad about it!

I asked her how she was and she said 'Not so good. I wish I could just fill in a PEC form and not have to work, but I just have to get on with it.'

I felt this was kind of insensitive. The reason I haven't done my work this semester isn't insubstantial.

My dad died about 2 months ago. Before this happened I was already feeling depressed. After Christmas I made the decision to break off all contact with my mum, which is pretty upsetting in itself (my parents are divorced). She has done all kinds of horrible things, including refusing to provide evidence of her income for my student finance application. Now I normally get full grant and bursary, but I'm not receiving it this year because of her. Needless to say, I don't get any money from my parents. So this year I'm really skint, and I'm always worrying about money. Also, I had an operation on my knee last September, but it still isn't better and it's hurting me, and I'm not allowed to do any sports. I used to love going rock climbing until I hurt my knee, but now I have trouble getting up stairs and walking around. On top of all of this my boyfriend acted like a massive jerk when my dad died and so I broke up with him. I found out recently that he gave me an STI and when I told him, he again acted like a jerk about it.

The uni know about all of this (apart from the STI). I went to them in January about feeling depressed, asking if I could take a year out (they told me to keep going), and then again after my dad died to tell them I was going away for a few weeks.

So what I am asking is, am I being ridiculous for asking to submit my work in August? Is my DPD right in implying that I should just pull myself together? I feel like I physically can't at the moment, for a start I'm barely sleeping or eating.

[aeterno]

You have every right to ask for an extension for the reasons you've listed. She's just being an insensitive bitch, quite frankly.

[treasureBelle]

You're not being ridiculous- the whole point of extensions is that they're given to students with extenuating circumstances. She was being extremely insensitive, imo.

If your DPD is really making you feel bad, is it worth asking the uni to consider switching her with someone else who would be better suited to support you? That is supposed to be their job, after all.

[meow444]

(Original post by aeterno)
You have every right to ask for an extension for the reasons you've listed. She's just being an insensitive bitch, quite frankly.

(Original post by treasureBelle)
You're not being ridiculous- the whole point of extensions is that they're given to students with extenuating circumstances. She was being extremely insensitive, imo.

If your DPD is really making you feel bad, is it worth asking the uni to consider switching her with someone else who would be better suited to support you? That is supposed to be their job, after all.

Thanks guys this makes me feel a lot better. I was starting to feel like I didn't deserve an extension.

I don't know if it's worth asking to switch to someone else. She is the person appointed to deal with such matters and she has the final say. I can switch personal tutor but I have to hand in the forms and everything to the DPD. It doesn't matter really, I can deal with her being like that. I was just curious to see if people thought I should just man up like she seems to think, because sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm just being pathetic.

[Origami Bullets]

You've got more reasons than most to get an extension - it's entirely justified.

On a more practical level, have you thought about going to see the university counselling service? It sounds like it might be good to have a confidential chat with an impartial person who isn't connected to your home / uni life, and I know people who have used the service and speak highly of it. And with the student finance, it sounds like you might be genuinely eligible to apply for full student finance on the basis that you are estranged from your parents?

[superwolf]

I'd say you're totally justified here - plenty of people get extensions for far less (myself included once or twice ), and there's no way you should be made to feel bad for taking such a reasonable step considering your circumstances. Hope you manage to find some ways to cope soon.

[meow444]

(Original post by Origami Bullets)
You've got more reasons than most to get an extension - it's entirely justified.

On a more practical level, have you thought about going to see the university counselling service? It sounds like it might be good to have a confidential chat with an impartial person who isn't connected to your home / uni life, and I know people who have used the service and speak highly of it. And with the student finance, it sounds like you might be genuinely eligible to apply for full student finance on the basis that you are estranged from your parents?

Thanks At the moment I'm going to a counselling service recommended by my GP, although I only just started so we will see how it goes. I did talk to a financial advisor at uni who was massively helpful, but because my mum did actually the fill in this year's form, she just didn't send them evidence of her income, it means that I don't count as estranged

Word of warning to people - don't let your parents fill in the form if you aren't 100% sure they will send in evidence of their income!

(Original post by superwolf)
I'd say you're totally justified here - plenty of people get extensions for far less (myself included once or twice ), and there's no way you should be made to feel bad for taking such a reasonable step considering your circumstances. Hope you manage to find some ways to cope soon.

Thanks superwolf you are like my rock at TSR! Hope things get better for you too, I think were both having a major low at the moment.

[ChelseyElla]

I'm glad you've already accepted that you deserve the extension and I hope things start to improve for you and you get the marks you want.
Unfortunately some people aren't very understanding with people being given extensions but that is mainly due to a lot of people often managing to get them when they're not essential. Was she aware of what you were going through? Don't let anyone get you down about having an extension anyway. You've still working your way through uni without giving up which is more than a lot of people in your situation probably would have done.