How do I move on from it?
Jo is qualified youth worker with years of experience, working at Against Violence and Abuse. Jo will be on TSR from the 26th March talking to those that have any questions about the subject in our dedicated Q&A. Please read our opening post for more information.
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- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
How do I move on from it?Ten years ago I was raped and sexually abused over a period of several months by a family member. Since then I've had several relationships, all of which were inappropriate in their own way, and all became sexual very quickly.
One relationship I was in for several years was abusive, although I didn't really realise that at the time - it wasn't physical, just mental and other stuff.
Now I'm in a relationship I actually want to be in, and I've found someone I really like. And I've told him stuff about my past and he's trying to be understanding and supportive. But I'm finding it really hard not to let my memories of past events spoil things for me. -
- Reputation:
- Official TSR Representative
Re: How do I move on from it?Hi
Thank you for your message, I am really sorry to hear about what you have been through, it must have been very traumatic. It is totally normal for memories of traumatic events to affect us, even years later. If you have a look at some of the other posts in this forum, you will see several other people are worried about the same thing.
It is great that you have found someone that you want to be with and that he is trying to be supportive, you really deserve a loving and healthy relationship. Have you ever talked about what happened in the past before? It could be a good idea to get some counselling as that can be one way to try to move forward. You could contact rape crisis for some support:
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
0808 802 9999
Opening Times: Daily, 12pm – 2:30pm, and 7pm – 9:30pm
There is something on their website which i think applies to you: Rape Trauma Syndrome is a recognised crisis response to rape or sexual assault and is a term sometimes used to help explain the impact of sexual violence. In the longer term you may experience insomnia, nightmares or flashbacks. However, there is no right or wrong way to react to sexual violence. You may wonder if you should or should not be feeling a certain way, or how long you should feel it for, or whether you should be 'over it by now'.
There are also a range of other organisations here which could help:
http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help
I hope this helps, please do think about contacting someone for some support, and you can always come back here to chat.
Good luck and take care
Jo
