I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I do
For questions and discussions relating to all aspects and kinds of relationships, from love and dating to friends, family and work. Threads about sexuality also belong here.
| Announcements | Posted on | |
|---|---|---|
| TSR launches Learn Together! - Our new subscription to help improve your learning | 16-05-2013 | |
-
- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doA guy I know asked me out, but I wasn't attracted to him at the time so I turned him down. 6 months on and we've spoken some more since and I've started to really like him.
Looks-wise, he's not my usual type, but he's funny and seems to have a cool personality, which has made him more attractive to me. Now, when I think of him I get butterflies in my stomach, and I scan the room at house parties and get togethers (we have a lot of mutual friends) to see if he's there.
I want to ask him out, but I don't know how interested he was in the first place, whether he even likes me anymore, and whether he'd question why I turned him down before and just think I'm messing him around.
Please help. :o -
- Reputation:
- Respected Member
- Posts: 160
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doWhat do you have to lose by asking him out? Clearly he liked you at the time, and he probably still does. The only caveat is that he may have developed a certain amount of enmity towards you because you rejected him (it's a classic defence mechanism against rejection). As such, he may just not be interested - there's only one way to find out.
If he asks why you are doing it now after such a long time, say that you didn't really know him well enough at the time and turned him down as a consequence. But, having spent more time with him, you could admit that you really like the person that he is and that you know that you made a mistake. Then you could playfully ask whether you would be able to change your answer.
You could word it a little more sensitively and lie ('I wasn't ready for a relationship' etc.) so that the onus is on you rather than him not being attractive to you, but I don't think that's fair.
Whatever the case, I think that you do need to clear the air about it. You also need to be honest. If you, for example, try to spend more time with him as a lead-up to asking him out, he might get quite confused about what you actually want.
Don't be surprised if he is a little defensive or a little confused - he may say yes; he may say no. Just be sure that it's really what you both want. -
- Reputation:
- TSR Idol
- Location: Bexhill-On-Sea
- Posts: 8,000
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I do
If he had any sense he wouldn't go anywhere near you as he'd come to the conclusion that you're playing with him. Sorry for the bluntness, but I can't stand women like that (before I get caps lock'd at; yes, I'm aware that trait isn't available solely to women).
From your post it seems like you've genuinely had a change of heart and aren't a prick-tease, so good luck. -
- Reputation:
- Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
- Location: Timbuktu
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doNo need to call her a bitch, what is wrong with you(Original post by Cheech23)
Bitch, you better not be teasing his cock!! We males don't take playing with our baby makers well. We're emotional creatures too you know!!
-
- Reputation:
- Exalted and Worshipped Member
- Location: Manchester
- Posts: 1,179
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doYou like his personality, which is a golden trait to have, tell him that now you know him more you have become to like him.(Original post by Anonymous)
We're in our late teens. -
- Reputation:
- Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
- Location: Scotland
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doIt's not unusual for this to happen - that people can grow on you. I'd ask him out if I were you. It's up to him after all but if people didn't give each other second chances, I don't think dating would work out at all. Human interactions never go smoothly. Being honest can help, so what Flyingaround said above is good advice.
As for anyone implying the OP is a "bitch" - get real!(Original post by Flyingaround)
tell him that now you know him more you have become to like him. -
- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I do(Original post by sophisticated)
x(Original post by Perdiccas)
x(Original post by Drunk Punx)
x(Original post by Flyingaround)
xThank you for your suggestions.(Original post by SweetsAndSugar)
x
Do you think messaging him on Facebook would be a bad idea? I'm (probably) going to run into him at a party next week, and was thinking of talking to him a bit then, and messaging him the next day.
I haven't added him on fb, but we have a lot of mutual friends on there, so hopefully it won't come across as stalkerish that I've found him on there.
I just know I wouldn't have the guts to ask him out in person.
-
- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doOops forgot to add you to the multi-quote above.(Original post by Lucia.)
It's not unusual for this to happen - that people can grow on you. I'd ask him out if I were you. It's up to him after all but if people didn't give each other second chances, I don't think dating would work out at all. Human interactions never go smoothly. Being honest can help, so what Flyingaround said above is good advice.
As for anyone implying the OP is a "bitch" - get real! -
- Reputation:
- Exalted and Worshipped Member
- Posts: 1,053
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doHmm... I think if you've spoken the day before and stuff it may be ok, but tbh in person is better. At-least you can see his reaction to you asking him out and explain why you turned him down in the first place.
-
- Reputation:
- Exalted and Worshipped Member
- Posts: 1,166
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I do(Original post by Cheech23)
Bitch, you better not be teasing his cock!! We males don't take playing with our baby makers well. We're emotional creatures too you know!!WOW, do some people really not get satire or sarcasm at all. Clearly by my tone you can tell that its a joke, so why the neg rep, are girls that sensitive??(Original post by Lucia.)
As for anyone implying the OP is a "bitch" - get real! -
- Reputation:
- Balanced Life Practitioner
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doYou never knew?(Original post by Cheech23)
WOW, do some people really not get satire or sarcasm at all. Clearly by my tone you can tell that its a joke, so why the neg rep, are girls that sensitive??
-
- Anonymous poster #2
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doI can't help it if my feelings for him have changed.(Original post by MancBoy)
This is why I hate girls. -
- Reputation:
- Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
- Location: Anonland
- Posts: 3,642
Re: I didn't like him when he asked me out but now I doBecause only women change their mind amirite?(Original post by MancBoy)
This is why I hate girls.
