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Have you ever been in an open relationship/could you be in one?

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    by this i mean in a relationship with someone but one of you/both of you sleep with other people... not have 2 "loving" relationships etc. but you are their "partner" but one or both of you have sex and just sex with others?

    OR if you have never done this - could you ever?

    your age/gender? did you have any "rules" e.g. don't ask don't tell, only 1 sex partner a week/month?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ghts-week.html
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    Never been in one, and never would want to be.
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    i dont understand that article.

    If they were an open relationship, its not cheating.

    Anyway, in answer to your question im a 21 year old girl.

    I dont think i could do an open relationship- friends with benefits, yes but not OR
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    I've had 2 quasi-open relationships 'on the books' (one of them current) and a number of casual tings too (one of which was tantamount to a LDR I suppose)

    I'm male and was (21), 25 and 27 respectively when I struck up these 'arrangements' with girls in their late teens/early 20's

    The 'rules' are that we communicate cadidly and use protection if we hook up with someone else; I typically insist on knowing if they've done anything with anyone (primarily for health reasons) and they typically don't want to know what I get up to, although in my current one she's told me she'd like to know if I have sex with someone else

    In truth it's very rare for me to actually act upon the freedoms that these arrangements enable but somehow it's nice to keep things 'light' and to have that freedom
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I've had 2 quasi-open relationships 'on the books' (one of them current) and a number of casual tings too (one of which was tantamount to a LDR I suppose)
    Just curious as to how (and why) a couple agrees to an open relationship?
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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    Just curious as to how (and why) a couple agrees to an open relationship?
    The effective LDR remained fairly casual and certainly not an official relationship because: A) To begin with she had her eye on another guy, so I kinda snuck in under the radar; B) I made it clear from the outset I wasn't looking for a relationship; C) I was forced to quit uni due to ill health and she moved away anyway (to Bath and then back to the motherland [France]), so the LDR nature of it all further undermined the assumption of workable exclusivity; D) She had her chance to repel me completely when I hooked up with a girl in halls right under her nose but, although she went surprisingly mental at the time, after a while she calmed down and came back for more (precedent set). After that she would come over to the UK every now and again, when it suited her, and she gave up expecting me to go visit her pretty sharpish (I'm a committed Francophobe)

    My first 'on the books' open relationship came about because I got into a full on relationship with a young neighbour who had become my best friend and told her that I didn't think I was cut out for monogamy but that I'd give a relationship a go on the understanding that when I re-started at uni I would "have my freedom". To be honest she was never happy with this proposition and I probably shouldn't have let her go along with things at all, let alone once we went non-exclusive as it made her sad and impacted on her self-esteem I think

    My current open relationship came about because I met a girl who was fed up of intense relationships with partners who acted like wallies and wanted something 'light'. Again she didn't live in the same town as me so anything more didn't seem all that sensible at the time (long distance monogamous relationships require iron resolve/deep feelings to stand a chance in my view)

    Oh and I had an American lodger chick who was living with my mum whom I hooked up with whenever I came home from uni (around the time I was seeing the French chick), and she was a Californian cheerleader who was like a porn star in the sack so you can imagine how 'free spirited' she was! If I'd talked relationships with her she'd have probably laughed at me That was more FWB tho aye
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    I believe in sexual freedom, (as long as you stay away from animals and kids), so I wouldn't impose my veiws or beliefs about sex/the sactity of on anyone else.
    But i don't feel i would be able to have such a relationship for religious reasons.
    I think I could only have one sexual partner I loved very much(just to clarify, i believe sex before marriage is fine)
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    (Original post by brunettegirl92)
    I believe in sexual freedom, (as long as you stay away from animals and kids), so I wouldn't impose my veiws or beliefs about sex/the sactity of on anyone else.
    But i don't feel i would be able to have such a relationship for religious reasons.
    I think I could only have one sexual partner I loved very much(just to clarify, i believe sex before marriage is fine)
    what is your religion if you don't mind me asking, and is it just for religious reasons or emotional too? if you suddenly lost faith (hypothetically) how would you feel about it?
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    I haven't been in one and I think I'd struggle. I've actually had one girlfriend in the past who was actually comfortable with the idea of me sleeping with other women (without wanting anything in return) but I wasn't ever in a position to take advantage of that and I'm not sure it would have been worth it if I did. I don't like complications and I don't like the idea of having to fight for a woman's attention when I'm already seeing her, so for me I think exclusive relationships (whether they be serious or more casual) are more suitable.
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    i suppose if id only just met someone i could be in an OR, or if it was a friend but id have to break it off if i got emotionally attached
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    I was in an 'open relationship' for about half a year. Being based in London and her in Leeds, it kind of made sense at the time, considering we liked each other, enough to want to care for each other and talk a lot, but not enough to completely remove other possibilities that may occur and such.

    One thing that was really important during it was that when I was up there, or she was down in London with me, was that it effectively was like a normal relationship. Everything we did those times was like a relationship, but when either one us went home or so, we still kept in contact by calling, texting, a few things on facebook and whatnot but we agreed that it was okay, if there was a possibility or temptation with another person then we allowed each other to pursue it. I know she slept with about 3 other guys in the course of that time, and I can't say I slept with as many girls at all, because I usually hate approaching girls anyway, but hate proper relationships. So that's why it worked.

    Anyway, it ended because I think we personally got a bit tired of it, and moreso, I think, one of the guys she was with one time wanted her to get more serious with him and cut the open relationship we had. And I didn't miss it.

    It worked out great, because we never had a single argument, we incredibly close at times and enjoyed many great experiences together, felt more than just '**** buddies' and was actually quite romantic at times. But it avoided all the stuff I hate with relationships; the insecurities, the arguments, all of it.

    I can't say I'd have another one because even though it wasn't much effort, it was still some effort at times. Which is less desirable than being single.

    Hope that makes some sense!
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    what is your religion if you don't mind me asking, and is it just for religious reasons or emotional too? if you suddenly lost faith (hypothetically) how would you feel about it?
    I am christian- protestant
    I believe that, to me, sex is sacred and should be done with someone you truly love. It is sacred as it is a gift form god (to be enjoyed), and is the most intimate level both spiritually and physically you can have with your partner (to me someone i should love)

    I don't believe that it is wrong for people who do not subcribe to this particular belief to have sex with whomever/whenever, because they are my beliefs, not everyone elses or the 'correct' one (i don't see any religion as the 'correct' one, they are all opinions and beliefs, and they feel right to the people who follow them) as I do not share these beliefs with others, it is irrelevant to others.

    Hypothetically If I had a sudden loss of faith, sex would lose its sanctity, therefore, there would be no religios belief preventing me from such a relationship.
    however, emotionally I am very loyal, and potentially jelous.I wouldn't want my partner having sex with anyone else, and I wouldn't want to give myself to anyone else

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