[Anonymous]

The situation is me and my cousin fell out a couple of years back over something silly (which if I think about it I can't remember) and since then she's constantly been slagging me off to everyone and accusing me of doing stuff that I haven't done. This Friday it's her wedding in Australia and I'm not invited. She has literally invited all the family apart from me. One of our mutual friends invited me to the wedding a few weeks ago, but my cousin personally hasn't, I haven't even received an invite. People have been asking why I am not invited and she has been saying that it is because I did not congratulate her regarding her wedding, she stated that our friend told me about the wedding so I should have contacted her to congratulate her. This is so silly, as she hasn't personally invited me and this friend who rang me said that he wasn't inviting me on behalf of my cousin but wanted me to come with him, which is odd turning up to your cousins wedding uninvited as a plus 1. Annoyed with the whole situation I decided to ring my cousin. I put all the crap that had happened between us aside and congratulated her on her wedding and then asked why I wasn't invited. She categorically stated that she was not going to invite, she had no intention of inviting me and she didn't want me to be there. I said fine, next time someone asks why I haven't been invited you can tell them that you didn't want me there, not that I didn't want to come. She said fine, if someone asks her she will tell them that she didn't want me to be there and not that I was refusing to come.
Her sister (my other cousin) has been phoning me constantly saying please come to the wedding, I said wtf- how can I come when the person who is getting married doesn't want me to be there!
Today after all the family arrived in Australia for the wedding, I get a phone call from the Brides sister saying the bride wants to speak to me and invite me to the wedding!

I'm literally fuming! The wedding is on Friday, today is Monday- How on earth can they expect me to get all my stuff ready for the wedding and fly out there to attend. Not to mention that how late it is to arrange tickets and stuff! I'm soo angry! I phoned her last week, if she wanted me to be there she would have stated then, not wait until everyone had arrived and then try to invite me last minute! I feel like she's playing a game with me, trying to look good and use the 'look I tried to invite her, but she didn't speak to me' line, which is utter rubbish as I rang her first putting aside all our differences and congratulating her.

I'm just soo confused! If I go she's hardly going to be nice to me and I doubt she even in her heart wants me to be there as if she did she wouldn't have been so nasty on the phone. If I don't go she will continue bitching about me and I will look like the bad one, when really she's put me in an awkward situation.

Need your advice guys, what should I do. (Sorry about the length).

[007Shella]

The thing about weddings is .. it's not just about the couple (or your dear cousin)
it's about two families coming together

you should go! turn up looking fab! have a great day/night! and hug her like nothing even happened !
Play the "I'm innocent too" card
lol

and even if she's gonna be horrid... avoid her (at her own wedding >.<) I'm sure there are other people to talk to at the wedding too
just have a blast and take full advantage of the event

although i know what you're going through you must be feeling like you're not wanted... because she never invited you personally?
I've been through that a lot at school... (went to a girl school.. they were all so bitchyy and played constant mind games!)
but just take full advantage of the event.. have fun, laugh, talk to people you haven't seen in ages etc.


Because if you don't go you might regret it one day
say things patch up in the future ... won't you feel a teeny bit guilty
people make mistakes sometimes... but i think you should be the bigger person in this


Good luck
and I hope everything works out!

And what kind of a wedding is it? white? Asian? .. just out of curiosity (=

[PinkMobilePhone]

(Original post by 007Shella)

you should go! turn up looking fab!

That might be easier said than done. It's in Australia!


OP - that is really annoying. It definitely does look as though she has done it, as you say, just to claim that she invited you.

I don't really know what to advise you. Do you want to go? Is it even possible for you to go all that way on such short notice?
If you can get there, and you do want to, then by all means go, but don't feel obligated to go if you don't really want to and if it is going to be too difficult for you to get there, because she is the one that has been playing childish games here.

[StarsAreFixed]

If I were you I wouldn't go. Maybe grudgingly if it was close by..but come on, that will cost an absolute fortune last minute and might even be impossible. Very spiteful to throw the ball in your court so she can say she did invite you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Don't invent excuses like college work or work if they are not valid. If people ask why you weren't there say that she didn't invite you and that when you queried it she confirmed it. And when she did invite you it was days before and impractical to go then. If it makes things awkward its all her fault, dont let yourself be cast as the stubborn one.

[ELs123]

to me it seems like she invited you late to portray you as the one who is causing the trouble "I invited her yet she does not want to show up. I am the good guy here!"

I would say do not go, **** her. Why should you worry about rushing around getting tickets, clothes and accommodation just because she changed her mind on a whim.

[Lewk]

If you got the money then sure, but I certainly wouldn't go with my tiny bank account.

[Anonymous]

Made the decision with a very heavy heart not to go..I hope It's the right one. Feel gutted but I just don't think I really want to go.."/

[Triq6]

Don't like her wedding pictures on facebook, that would teach her.

[DorianGrayism]

I wish I was as lucky as you....Anyway..don't go. It is simply expensive and a waste of money to spend so much to go half way across the world to a Wedding for someone that does not like you.

I am not sure why you are so desperate to go either if she clearly doesn't like you and has been slagging you off.

[007Shella]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Made the decision with a very heavy heart not to go..I hope It's the right one. Feel gutted but I just don't think I really want to go.."/

If that's what your heart told you to do
then don't worry to much about it
It's only a wedding
not the end of the world

[For The Love Of Giraffe]

Just stay out of it and ignore her bitchiness. The people you care about can hear the truth from you and the rest can believe her lies, but if they're stupid enough to believe them and not ask you for your side, you're better off without them too.

She's playing games - just stay out of it and let her be a child by herself.

[ali7861012]

(Original post by Triq6)
Don't like her wedding pictures on facebook, that would teach her.

anon fail?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, don't go. Families can be overrated sometimes. My opinion is that contrary to what everyone else is saying, wedding days are all and only about the bride and groom, and if she doesn't really want you there don't go. And I don't get the feeling you really like her, so you shouldn't go anyway.