Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

If you could meet your soulmate/"the one" for only a few hours but ...

Announcements Posted on
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    ...never meet them again, would you?

    I ask because I had an experience a few weeks ago where I went out and ended up meeting someone I instantly clicked with and they were completely my type. In fact, it was if I'd been passing everyone else over because I'd been waiting for this person. I am attractive and get a lot of attention but usually pass it over because the people don't match up to my 'ideal.'

    Anyway, I met this person, we hit it off. They were leaving England forever to return to New Zealand so we were saying how if only we'd met years ago, because we both wanted a relationship and we really liked each other. We spent the night together, but we did not exchange any details and now they are gone.

    So I was feeling truly depressed afterwards, since there is nothing I can do about it. I would say if we had met years ago, it could have been something beautiful. Now I am just very sad and pessimistic.

    So...

    How does one get over such an experience?

    Would you want to meet 'the one' (and I mean somebody truly special) for one day only but know that at the end of the day that is it, there is no possibility of a future at all?
    • 7 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    No, it'd be too painful to not see them again.
    • 21 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I don't think I would. I'd just spend the rest of my life comparing everyone else to them and never being truly happy.
    • 85 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...never meet them again, would you?

    I ask because I had an experience a few weeks ago where I went out and ended up meeting someone I instantly clicked with and they were completely my type. In fact, it was if I'd been passing everyone else over because I'd been waiting for this person. I am attractive and get a lot of attention but usually pass it over because the people don't match up to my 'ideal.'

    Anyway, I met this person, we hit it off. They were leaving England forever to return to New Zealand so we were saying how if only we'd met years ago, because we both wanted a relationship and we really liked each other. We spent the night together, but we did not exchange any details and now they are gone.

    So I was feeling truly depressed afterwards, since there is nothing I can do about it. I would say if we had met years ago, it could have been something beautiful. Now I am just very sad and pessimistic.

    So...

    How does one get over such an experience?

    Would you want to meet 'the one' (and I mean somebody truly special) for one day only but know that at the end of the day that is it, there is no possibility of a future at all?
    :hugs: :console: :hugs:

    Time is a great healer. I know that's a stock response but it is true :yes:

    When I was in my third year of my undergrad degree, I had the most incredible relationship with someone. It really was as if we were soulmates or twin flames, or any of that kinda stuff. I'd never felt that comfortable or that loved by someone before :o: It really changed my whole life and worldview.

    Since it was my third and final year of uni and this other person was a welfare tutor, we knew we had a very limited time together and that we wouldn't be able to keep in touch once I left. So we both just threw ourselves into it (a bit too much perhaps. Looking back, she shouldn't have done it :nah: ) and made the most of the time we had together.

    It cut both of us up, having to say goodbye at the end of the academic year. She actually didn't say goodbye and wouldn't let me say goodbye properly, coz she couldn't bear it :no: That made the pain of parting even worse for me. Two years on, I still miss her so much and bemoan the fact that our time together was so short. I could have gone to her in first year and we could have had three years together but I was so stubborn and refused to accept any outside help :sad:

    Not having this woman in my life anymore hurts like hell. Like you acknowledge, it's hard to find your soulmate and then have to part forever and know that you can never talk again. But would I rather I had never gone to her in the first place, or that she'd been a bit more professional? Not a chance. I'd rather go through all this pain and have had the pleasure of having spent a fraction of my life with her, than have gone through life never knowing that kind of love :o: Loving some one like that has really changed me profoundly for the better :yes:
    • 18 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :hugs: :console: :hugs:

    Time is a great healer. I know that's a stock response but it is true :yes:

    When I was in my third year of my undergrad degree, I had the most incredible relationship with someone. It really was as if we were soulmates or twin flames, or any of that kinda stuff. I'd never felt that comfortable or that loved by someone before :o: It really changed my whole life and worldview.

    Since it was my third and final year of uni and this other person was a welfare tutor, we knew we had a very limited time together and that we wouldn't be able to keep in touch once I left. So we both just threw ourselves into it (a bit too much perhaps. Looking back, she shouldn't have done it :nah: ) and made the most of the time we had together.

    It cut both of us up, having to say goodbye at the end of the academic year. She actually didn't say goodbye and wouldn't let me say goodbye properly, coz she couldn't bear it :no: That made the pain of parting even worse for me. Two years on, I still miss her so much and bemoan the fact that our time together was so short. I could have gone to her in first year and we could have had three years together but I was so stubborn and refused to accept any outside help :sad:

    Not having this woman in my life anymore hurts like hell. Like you acknowledge, it's hard to find your soulmate and then have to part forever and know that you can never talk again. But would I rather I had never gone to her in the first place, or that she'd been a bit more professional? Not a chance. I'd rather go through all this pain and have had the pleasure of having spent a fraction of my life with her, than have gone through life never knowing that kind of love :o: Loving some one like that has really changed me profoundly for the better :yes:
    But if you cared for each other this much, why didn't you just try to make it work? however hard it seemed-LDR or something? Just curious.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by darkxangel)
    But if you cared for each other this much, why didn't you just try to make it work? however hard it seemed-LDR or something? Just curious.
    I'm final year university, i need to stay. i wouldn't be able to handle a LTR at all, that would just be even more painful. I don't think I'll get over this for a while, it's utterly crushing and cruel.
    • 18 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm final year university, i need to stay. i wouldn't be able to handle a LTR at all, that would just be even more painful. I don't think I'll get over this for a while, it's utterly crushing and cruel.
    Aww i'm sad to hear that. :sad: *online-hug* What about after uni? can't you meet up with the person-or move there to work or something?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by darkxangel)
    Aww i'm sad to hear that. :sad: *online-hug* What about after uni? can't you meet up with the person-or move there to work or something?
    We deliberately did not exchange contact details, because we agreed there was no realistic future. We just agreed to savour the moment and know we met someone who was truly compatible, and go our separate ways. I guess you could say it is quite a 'zen' approach, but extending it would add more pain to everything.

    Hmm, sucks. How can I get over this experience? I've never felt like this before.
    • 85 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by darkxangel)
    But if you cared for each other this much, why didn't you just try to make it work? however hard it seemed-LDR or something? Just curious.
    As a welfare tutor, she's not supposed to keep in contact with her former welfare students. She already got into quite a lot of trouble over me and I didn't want her to get into anymore. So I just let her go :sadnod:
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We deliberately did not exchange contact details, because we agreed there was no realistic future. We just agreed to savour the moment and know we met someone who was truly compatible, and go our separate ways. I guess you could say it is quite a 'zen' approach, but extending it would add more pain to everything.

    Hmm, sucks. How can I get over this experience? I've never felt like this before.
    If I was sure I'd met my 'soulmate' (not that I believe in it), there'd be nothing that could keep me from him, nor him from me.

    So I have to ask - how do you know it wasn't just a one night stand?

    Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's two wills, there're two ways.

    One does not simply let their soulmate go without exchanging Facebook adds.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Anyway, I met this person, we hit it off. They were leaving England forever to return to New Zealand so we were saying how if only we'd met years ago, because we both wanted a relationship and we really liked each other. We spent the night together, but we did not exchange any details and now they are gone.
    Um, are you sure it wasn't just you saying this, and him/her taking advantage of the way you felt? Surely if you'd both felt so strongly, details would have been exchanged? Sounds odd to me...
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    How did you come to the conclusion that he was 'the one' if you just met him for a few hours?

    Was he rich, had a six pack, tall, incredibly handsome and romantic by any chance?...I joke
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I know what love feels like and I am not actually trying to rain on your parade here...BUT. When it comes to love (especially if you are female and this was a guy), actions speak louder than words. The best way of knowing if someone genuinely has feelings for you, is what they DO, initiate contact, make time for you, travel far etc etc. What they say is the worst indicator. Having a nice chat and all that can feel very intimate, but in the end, you do not truly know that the other person feels the way you do. Plenty of people have become infatuated with someone only to realize the other person's affection was short-lived or exaggerated. Secondly, one night together give very little indicator to what could have been. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and you can bet almost all of them felt they'd found their soul mate when they first got married. A successful marriage consists of infatuation, compatibility and about 50% hard work. You're young, you can fall for someone new, and you will.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?

    this is what you'll be called on TSR

  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?

    never shared and never spammed

  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide the button to the right to create your account

    Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: May 27, 2012
New on TSR

Get ready for SQA results day

Share your grade expectations for Tuesday 5 August

Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.