[Anonymous]

Have you ever met someone online, had real spark/chemistry, etc online then met up and somehow it's ... different?

The same thing has happened to me and it's got me dreadfully confused. We spoke on Facebook so I knew exactly what he looked like and he looks the same in real life as in his pictures. I knew he was shy too and he was shy in real life. But somehow... him, his whole persona as I'd pictured, was 'different' and I can't place my finger on it. It's gotten me in an awful confused state and I'm starting to wonder if it's just me, because everyone else have told me he's the same as they'd 'pictured'.

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

[laura130490]

Yeah it happened to me, a friend of a friend added me on facebook. We were chatting for weeks and texting etc. I saw loads of his pics on there and was sure I fancied him, then we met up and there was just something I didn't like about him and I couldn't put my finger on it.

We got on quite well and had a laugh, but I just didn't find him attractive even though he was good looking, weird I know. Little mannerisms he had really turned me off. For example, at one point in the date he started biting his nails and I noticed all his nails were bitten very very short and inside I was just think "Ewww that's vile". It sounds stupid, because these are really small things and wouldn't usually bother me that much, but I just think we had zero chemistry in real life and that's why these things bothered me more. I think you only really know if you could be in a relationship with someone when you meet them in real life, because the image you have of them could be completely different to how they actually are.

[Chumbaniya]

My experiences have been positive, actually. All of the times I've met up with a girl I've been talking to online with the potential for there to be something between us, it's worked out to at least some extent.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by laura130490)
Yeah it happened to me, a friend of a friend added me on facebook. We were chatting for weeks and texting etc. I saw loads of his pics on there and was sure I fancied him, then we met up and there was just something I didn't like about him and I couldn't put my finger on it.

We got on quite well and had a laugh, but I just didn't find him attractive even though he was good looking, weird I know. Little mannerisms he had really turned me off. For example, at one point in the date he started biting his nails and I noticed all his nails were bitten very very short and inside I was just think "Ewww that's vile". It sounds stupid, because these are really small things and wouldn't usually bother me that much, but I just think we had zero chemistry in real life and that's why these things bothered me more. I think you only really know if you could be in a relationship with someone when you meet them in real life, because the image you have of them could be completely different to how they actually are.

Oh right... did you call off the 'relationship' then? :/ How did you explain this to him? I think it's even harder when THEY are really interested yet you're not...

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
My experiences have been positive, actually. All of the times I've met up with a girl I've been talking to online with the potential for there to be something between us, it's worked out to at least some extent.

My experience hasn't been negative, exactly. I suppose it's been pretty neutral. We've met up twice, and I liked him a lot more the second time round just didn't feel as strongly as I did online, which is weird. Makes me wonder if my mind is some messed up **** and I was in love with a fabricated person in my head. But I'm just going to take it slow as I enjoyed the day with him and feelings for the 'real him' could develop...

[laura130490]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh right... did you call off the 'relationship' then? :/ How did you explain this to him? I think it's even harder when THEY are really interested yet you're not...

Yeah it was quite hard because we'd been talking for ages and got to know each other really well. He text me straight after our date saying how much he liked me and wanted to do it again as well, which made it hard. I was just honest with him, said he was a really nice person and I'd like to be friends with him, but I didn't feel like we had any chemistry so it wouldn't go any further. He spent the best part of a week begging me to change my mind, but I just knew it was never going to work out.

[dreamer247]

Definately. Last time I met someone online I really liked him before I met him and I thought we got on in real life then....he just ignored me after meeting up with me. He could of at least said he wasn't interested instead of being a jerk about it. I would of been happy to be friends, it wasn't like I made it obvious that I wanted it to be more between us.

[Sui-Kinxtar_kitty]

From my experience....

Most recent one was perfect <3

But yes there are quite a few ppl that build up this "hype" persona online and then are quite the opposite when you meet them irl...

I guess it depends on the person really

[Zara<3]

There was one guy i met up with..and well..this sounds so shallow but i'm so not..he looked SOO unbelievably different in real life to the pictures..i was thinking..is this the same person?!?!... and that wasn't in a good way :/ on top of that he was really shy in person so he wouldn't even make eye contact with me or talk much till towards the end when he got a bit more confident..if he was really bubbly and stuff maybe i could have found some attraction somewhere? but nothing..was like a completely different person altogether..later that day i told him i don't feel any chemistry in person..and that i'm really sorry etc and he turned into a psycho and kept calling me texting me telling me i've broken his heart and how can i be so cold etc..although we were only chatting for like a few weeks before we met up.. :/ so yeah..after that didn't bother trying to meet anyone from the internet lol

[Anonymous]

It seems this happens a lot more to women than it does men. Women appear to be more disappointed than men; men seem pretty content. Maybe it's because women have high expectations/standards?

[dreamer247]

I have found its more the guy who has the higher standards. It depends totally on the person and what they want out of the meet up. I mean I know I am not the most beautiful girl but I still don't deserve the cut all contact with no explaination thing

[Anonymous]

(Original post by dreamer247)
I have found its more the guy who has the higher standards. It depends totally on the person and what they want out of the meet up. I mean I know I am not the most beautiful girl but I still don't deserve the cut all contact with no explaination thing

He probably didn't have the guts to tell you he didn't want to take things any further, not even a friendship :/ especially if you really liked him and he didn't feel the same way.

It's weird how this happens though... even though you see lots of photos and have a lot of communication it's a whole lot different from meeting in real life. That's why I don't understand how people have actually met their 'soulmates' online and have even gone on to marry them

Perhaps I'm just impatient and need to give it more time in person...

[dreamer247]

We talked for 4 months though and i guess I got the impression that he wasn't that type of guy. I was really disappointed that he gave it a couple of hours to decide that he didn't even want to keep in contact for a while longer. I don't understand how people can make such a judgement. I didn't say anything about liking him, I just said that I wanted to meet up again and he seemed to want to as well but obviously not...

[Flyingaround]

(Original post by Zara<3)
There was one guy i met up with..and well..this sounds so shallow but i'm so not..he looked SOO unbelievably different in real life to the pictures..i was thinking..is this the same person?!?!... and that wasn't in a good way :/ on top of that he was really shy in person so he wouldn't even make eye contact with me or talk much till towards the end when he got a bit more confident..if he was really bubbly and stuff maybe i could have found some attraction somewhere? but nothing..was like a completely different person altogether..later that day i told him i don't feel any chemistry in person..and that i'm really sorry etc and he turned into a psycho and kept calling me texting me telling me i've broken his heart and how can i be so cold etc..although we were only chatting for like a few weeks before we met up.. :/ so yeah..after that didn't bother trying to meet anyone from the internet lol

I wish in real life we could just go up to people and hang out.
I see these adverts for speed dating but the min age is like 25, what if i want someone who is 22 because i am quite young in my head and how i talk, i need someone to match.
Professionally I am my age as in when i'm working but socially i feel i'm about 19.

[m45]

of course... a person is never going to be the same in real life as they are online...

even more so if you met on a dating site or something similar because there's a reason they are doing it there as opposed to real life.

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by Zara<3)
There was one guy i met up with..and well..this sounds so shallow but i'm so not..he looked SOO unbelievably different in real life to the pictures..i was thinking..is this the same person?!?!... and that wasn't in a good way :/ on top of that he was really shy in person so he wouldn't even make eye contact with me or talk much till towards the end when he got a bit more confident..if he was really bubbly and stuff maybe i could have found some attraction somewhere? but nothing..was like a completely different person altogether..later that day i told him i don't feel any chemistry in person..and that i'm really sorry etc and he turned into a psycho and kept calling me texting me telling me i've broken his heart and how can i be so cold etc..although we were only chatting for like a few weeks before we met up.. :/ so yeah..after that didn't bother trying to meet anyone from the internet lol

i had a really similar thing.

met this guy online and he wanted a relationship. We met up once for a date and tbh he was hot and we clicked well. But then he would spam text me, call me all the time, ask me who i was with/what was i doing. I went on a night out and i couldnt talk to him so he went in a massive mood.

I thought id give him 1 more chance, so we had a 2nd date, and again it was perfect, spent all day together, i really fancied him, he really liked me....but again, he wanted to move things much faster. Why hadnt we had sex, im too slow for him, then he was manipulative, he would play with my emotions, i wasnt allowed to see my guy mates, or my mates in general tbh. Then when i told him id had enough, didnt want to continue because he was too manipulative and played too many mind games....he rang me constantly. Then again a few days ago he text me after weeks of not talking.

If thats how possessive he is after 2 dates, im glad i ended it there!

[carasezmoo]

My recent guy was just perfect! Even better looking than in the photos to be honest