One night stand (guys advice preferably)

So basically I met this really cute guy last week in a bar and he was buying me drinks and saying he wanted to take me out on a date. (he's 21 i'm 19 btw) We ended up going back to his house but I refused to sleep with him because I don't sleep with random people as soon as I meet them no matter how drunk I am.

Well anyway, he was totally fine with that and we ended up spooning and spending the rest of the night chatting. Ever since he's been texting me a little every couple or days or so and has been very keen to make sure we meet up again.

Yesterday we arranged to go for drinks and so we went to the bar, got a couple of rounds and went back to his because the bar shut and there wasn't really anywhere to go. Got into his room and he was like oh pick a film so I chose one and we put it on and we were just cuddling and one thing led to another blablabla and basically I ended up sleeping with him cos I was pretty drunk. However I hadn't been able to shave down there because my shower has been blocked and obviously can't leave hair in the shower so I was absolutely dreading it cos I know what guys are like about hair. It wasn't a jungle or anything, it was trimmed pretty short but i've never felt so embarrassed and we laughed a little about it at the time. BUT the worst is yet to come... how do i put this... he was letting in a lot of air during and I am cringing so much as I write this because, well u know what happens... and I feel like dying inside. Obviously I was drunk at the time and I didn't really care.

He was trying to get me to stay overnight but I couldn't cos I had work today but anyway he told me to text him when I got home so I sent him a text saying that I was home safely and thank you for the evening to which he replied 'don't apologise, was nice to see you. goodnight' and I haven't heard from him since.

What does this mean? Am I blowing the whole hair/queefing thing out of proportion or would this have genuinely really put him off? :/

Reply 1

Aconcernedparent

The hair & queefing thing doesn't matter at all. Guys are used to it. Most likely he just wasn't interested in dating you, and it doesn't matter if you'd shaved.

Reply 2

systeric

Original post by Anonymous

Perhaps I'm being dense/naive here, but I don't actually know what you mean.

Reply 3

pinkangelgirl

im confused. You said in the 1st paragraph you dont sleep with someone no matter how drunk you are.

then you go onto say you ended up sleeping with him cos you were pretty drunk? which is it?

and no dont be embarrassed- sheesh queefing is queefin dont worry. who brought up the laughing about you not being shaved?

anyway, he sounds like a nice enough guy stop fretting!

Reply 4

pinkangelgirl

Original post by midlandsman

Perhaps I'm being dense/naive here, but I don't actually know what you mean.

''queefing'' babes :rolleyes:

Reply 5

The_Jammy_Witch

I think that, if anything, sleeping with him on the first date after making out like you're a gotta-work-for-it-if-you-want-my-booty kinda girl carries a greater risk of having put him off than your hairy kweefing antics (although in a way, I applaud you for actually typing that out, good grief!).

Let's be honest: sleeping with a guy straightaway when you're drunk isn't gonna make him think 'dayum, can't wait to take her home to meet my parents!'

If you just want casual then rock the house. But it sounds like you wanted something more romantic with this fella, so in future, when that's the case, try getting to know him a bit before you get naked with him. It can't hurt your chances to parcel out the good stuff in a piecemeal fashion...

... Although as it is, I would stop going crazy about it because it was last night, yeah, so put down the phone and get on with your life.

Reply 6

systeric

Original post by pinkangelgirl

''queefing'' babes :rolleyes:

Glad you've got my back babykins.

Not that big a deal OP. If he doesn't get back to you I doubt it's because of that. And it hasn't exactly been that long has it?

Reply 7

OMGWTFBBQ

lol queefing. Biology's best little joke.

You probably put out too early if you wanted a relationship.

Also, nothing wrong with a little bit of hair. Just not a jungle, so I doubt it was an issue.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by pinkangelgirl

He is the first one night stand i've had because I only have sex with people i've known a while and really like. Never really been into casual sex. We just got on so well. I apologised to him and he laughed it off and said don't worry about it

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Ah i'm such an idiot :frown:

. I tried to stand my ground and I really regret it because I felt like it could have gone somewhere but to be honest he had absolutely no interest in watching the film. Should I have just gone home then do you think?

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Forgot to add.. he did say when he accompanied me to the door that next time I should stay overnight but he may have just been being polite?

Reply 11

Malkmus

Original post by The_Jammy_Witch

Let's be honest: sleeping with a guy straightaway when you're drunk isn't gonna make him think 'dayum, can't wait to take her home to meet my parents!'

If you just want casual then rock the house. But it sounds like you wanted something more romantic with this fella, so in future, when that's the case, try getting to know him a bit before you get naked with him.

On the contrary, I don't think being willing to get your kit off on a first or second date is necessarily off-putting. People are so obsessed with what society thinks about them and "am I a slag if i shag him on the 1st/2nd/3rd/22nd date?" that they don't actually do what they want to do. Sex can be many things - just a bit of fun or deep and meaningful. Putting out reasonably freely should not be seen as some sort of action indicative of a weak person or one whom is lacking self-respect. People should be judged on their actual personality as opposed to a set of social constructs.

I've had two long-term relationships with people I have gone home and slept with the first night we actually kissed and (shock horror!) neither of them turned out to be "slags", cheated on me or had a thousand notches on their bedpost. We just both happened to hit it off extremely well, quite fancy going home together and having sex. Is that really so bad?

Reply 12

Malkmus

TJW - I just realised that sounded far more antagonistic than I meant it to. :biggrin:

Was simply making the point that not all guys would think the worst of the OP or not consider them a long-term prospect simply because they put out fairly early on in their encounters with each other. :smile:

Reply 13

The_Jammy_Witch

Original post by Malkmus

Nope. Exceptions to everything. As I say though, it can't hurt a girl's chances to simply enjoy the tension of a slowburn build up.

It's not about being a 'slag'. It's about asserting that you're (rather, she's) capable of delaying gratification. Exceptions yes, but in reality, most people aren't the exception. The majority of girls who shag on a first date with a guy they want more from are not doing it because they're foot loose and fancy free and dynamite. They're doing it because they think it's gonna encourage the guy to lock it down and thus bypass that nervous/ecstatic period of uncertainty before a relationship is formed. And that is a sign of insecurity.

Anyway, social constructs exist for a reason. Sometimes 'doing what you want to do' isn't in your longterm interests. I want to eat chucklet all the time etc. I think that not being easy makes good sense in light, not only of the social implications of doing so (a good enough reason in itself), but also the evolutionary foundations that I believe it is rested on.

There's simply every reason to wait a little bit other than the fact that it requires some sort of discipline, and a comparably tinier list of reasons as to why girls should give it up to the first bozo who takes 'em out for a night on the town.

Is this a troll?

Original post by M4LLY

Is this a troll?

Who knows? My guess is there might be truth to this story.

I accidentally clicked on the H&R forum, I don't know what compelled me to stay.

Reply 16

Lucia.

Nothing wrong with a hook-up if that's what you want to do. Just don't go into it expecting a relationship. If women are truly free agents they should be able to choose. At the same time, as adults, they should be prepared for the outcomes of the decisions they make. Personally if I really fancy someone, then I prefer to have the build-up of sexual tension.

There are no hard and fast rules though.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by M4LLY

Is this a troll?

Unfortunately for me, no this did genuinely happen. I've only ever been in one serious relationship so this whole dating thing is very new to me. Obviously I could have refrained from sex but the truth is I literally had no idea what else to do. Like I knew we wouldn't end up watching the film but I had no idea what to do, whether to thank him for the night or just go home. I'm really annoyed with myself to be honest but I'm just naïve. I feel really stupid for asking but what should I have done if I wanted to take this further with him and not just have it as a fling?