Boyfriend going on holiday with Ex.

Long story short.

When we're together it's incredible. When he gets drunk he texts his ex-girlfriend saying how he still loves her whom he's been on and off with for 6 years now...
He broke up with her drunk and got with me so they didn't have a proper break up, she tells him all the time how much she's still in love with him. They are also in the same group of friends so see each other constantly and always go get drunk together in clubs etc.

They booked a holiday together (when they were still together) and he said he wouldn't go but after I saw the texts he sent to her when he was drunk, we broke up but it's more so we can think about things.

Anyway, now he's saying he's going to go because I'm selfish for not letting him go. He says he's completely over her but he tells me when he's drunk he still has feelings for her. There is another couple going on the holiday too.

What do I do?
I honestly love him SO much.

Oh and also, his birthday is soon and I bought him tickets which cost me £400, I can't sell them anywhere either.

Reply 1

foolscap

9

Original post by Anonymous

When he gets drunk he texts his ex-girlfriend saying how he still loves her whom he's been on and off with for 6 years now...

Original post by Anonymous

He broke up with her drunk and got with me

Original post by Anonymous

They are also in the same group of friends so see each other constantly and always go get drunk together in clubs etc.

Original post by Anonymous

I saw the texts he sent to her when he was drunk

Original post by Anonymous

Anyway, now he's saying he's going to go because I'm selfish for not letting him go. He says he's completely over her but he tells me when he's drunk he still has feelings for her.

Hang on a minute, there's a recurring theme here.

Reply 2

foolscap

9

Oh and FYI it is a ridiculous idea for him to go on holiday with his ex of 6 years who still admits to being in love with him.
You need to sit him down and see this from your point of view, that's a heck of a lot of trust you have to put in him to let him go on this holiday, and it is in no way selfish for you to not want him to go.

I'm thinking on this holiday he'll get drunk and accidentally have sex with his ex. Twice.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 3

thatbeckygirl

Thank you, and I wish you didn't edit that because it made me laugh :smile:

.
So annoying because he's said it'll prove "trust" that he can go a whole week without even kissing her and then I wont have a problem when they see each other out and if they talk etc.

Reply 4

TheInformer

7

Lol at not breaking up with him. He's basically playing you for a fool, a fool gawd damnit!

Reply 5

thatbeckygirl

Know where I can sell the tickets I bought for his birthday?

Reply 6

ilex_noemi

11

oh wow.. I hope you have broken up with him!!

Break up!

Original post by Anonymous

Long story short.

When we're together it's incredible. When he gets drunk he texts his ex-girlfriend saying how he still loves her whom he's been on and off with for 6 years now...
He broke up with her drunk and got with me so they didn't have a proper break up, she tells him all the time how much she's still in love with him. They are also in the same group of friends so see each other constantly and always go get drunk together in clubs etc.

They booked a holiday together (when they were still together) and he said he wouldn't go but after I saw the texts he sent to her when he was drunk, we broke up but it's more so we can think about things.

Anyway, now he's saying he's going to go because I'm selfish for not letting him go. He says he's completely over her but he tells me when he's drunk he still has feelings for her. There is another couple going on the holiday too.

What do I do?
I honestly love him SO much.

Oh and also, his birthday is soon and I bought him tickets which cost me £400, I can't sell them anywhere either.

This isnt a relationship.
If he was with you and committed 100% he wouldn't ever, ever want to go with her. When you love someone, you want to spend your time with THEM, not the person you were with before.

You may love him, but you need to love yourself more. dont let yourself be second best to a drunk who cant keep his mouth shut.

Reply 9

Vohamanah

16

Original post by thatbeckygirl

Know where I can sell the tickets I bought for his birthday?

Try one of these:

http://www.getmein.com/sell.html
http://www.viagogo.co.uk/SellTickets
http://www.seatwave.com/sell/sell00b.aspx

Reply 10

Adhsur

15

You really are in a three-way relationship. Really.

Reply 11

M4LLY

12

Have a good, long, serious talk with him about all this

Reply 12

liv89

2

tell him it is either you or her. it is not acceptable to go on holiday with an ex and it is asking a lot of you to trust him to not get intimately involved with the ex whilst on holiday with her.

Reply 13

johit

I don't know if you feel jealous by this, but probably you do. It's totally understandable too, and no, it's not being selfish at all for not wanting him to go.

Yet at the same time, to be blunt, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Always getting drunk and meeting with his ex when you are not around? That's unacceptable, and it shows that he has little, if any regard for your feelings. Yet however it may be, you do need to talk to him seriously about this. It's obviously paining you a lot and most importantly he needs to realise what he's doing to you.

You do love him but, as it says above, you do have to love yourself more. Now I would say talk to him honestly and, if needed, make him listen. If he understands you then I would say carry on the relationship (albeit cautiously). If he doesn't cooperate then you need time and space to seriously evaluate practically- and that's the important part, practically- the relationship. You can't carry on hurting yourself like this if you respect yourself, even if you do love him. If it looks like things are not going to change then I suggest ending it, although of course that's all up to you.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

This reminds me so much of a relationship I was in - the guy was not really over his ex, and he was letting him get to her, they were texting each other saying they still loved each other etc...

I asked him not to talk to her, but I stayed with him because I loved him. I ended up getting cheated on with her.

I would say give him a choice - he cancels the holiday, or you walk away. Trust me, it's not worth putting yourself second best.

It's too much to ask of you to expect you to let him go on this holiday.

Reply 15

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by Anonymous

Long story short.

Long story short is get some self respect and just laugh this off.

Tell him you don't think he is in a position to handle a proper relationship and he has obviously got hang ups about his ex, wish him luck and move on with your life.

Also he is probably cheating/will do so don't put up with it.

Reply 16

amyshamblesxx

10

Why would you be with someone that says they are still in love with their ex? Just, break up with him.

Reply 17

foolscap

9

Original post by thatbeckygirl

Thank you, and I wish you didn't edit that because it made me laugh :smile:

.
So annoying because he's said it'll prove "trust" that he can go a whole week without even kissing her and then I wont have a problem when they see each other out and if they talk etc.

I put it back up, hopefully I'll get some thumbs ups.

Let us know how it goes! :wink:

Reply 18

Goody2Shoes-x

14

He is using you. Get rid of him. If he wants to be with his ex so badly he can do it as a single guy. He's being a dick to you, you deserve way better.