Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?

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  1. sugaar-xx's Avatar
    • Junior Member
    • Posts: 31
    Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    To cut a very very long story short, me and my boyfriend were going out for 1 year, I got pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion, he made me go through it entirely alone, rarely text me and never answered his phone, yet he would still text me the odd time to reassure me he loved me etc etc.

    When I returned home (from having the abortion) he avoided me, I then met with his family, who he hadn't told about me being pregnant, and they said he'd had another girlfriend for over 2 weeks... we hadn't even broken up yet. We then broke up and he started saying he'd also been sleeping with my friend behind my back.

    So now, 2 weeks later, his new girlfriend rings me wanting to know what happened etc.. apparently my ex had told her and his family I had lied about being pregnant and having an abortion, so I said I would meet her and show her the documents, texts etc as I feel it's something she needs to be aware of. I feel like I need to warn her about him. He's also a drug dealer and cheated on his girlfriend before me.

    I'm also so angry that he told his family I lied about it all, I feel like ringing his mum and telling her if she ever wanted to see proof (documents, texts) then she could.. but I don't know if I want to drag all this up again..

    His new girlfriend also rang me of a private number, she said she'd text me with her number so we could meet up but she hasn't.. and now I've spent my day just worrying about everything, just as I started to feel better

    What should I do? Thanks
    Last edited by sugaar-xx; 12-06-2012 at 11:38.
  2. Future African game vet's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Location: on a chair in my office
    • Posts: 1,718
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    Don't do it.

    Do not make the pain worse. I was left for someone else and she was trying to get in contact with me (because she was insecure about the past and him still seeing me as a friend) everything spiraled out of control and I ended up having to go and see a Councillor for therapy because my nerves were shot to pieces. Talking to them is the worst thing you can do.

    Walk away with your head held high and don't look back.
    x
  3. *Dreaming*'s Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
    • Posts: 3,177
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    What do you (and this girl) see in this guy? Sounds like a nasty piece of work. The girl will see for herself no doubt. You should cut off all communication with him immediately.
  4. LadyJazzles's Avatar
    • Respected Member
    • Location: Kent
    • Posts: 173
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    Oh hun, firstly I am sorry that you are going through this at such a time. Right now, you should be getting support, this is the last thing you need. Having to prove it all to people!

    This ex boyfriend of yours sounds like a right scumbag.

    I agree with *Dreaming* you need to cut off all communication with him straight away. He doesn't even deserve you, let alone any other girl by the sound of his behaviour!

    Just don't get involved with anything to do with him, his new girlfriend is his problem. Especially if he cheated on you with her, I would just walk away sweetie... Forget him.
  5. Future African game vet's Avatar
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    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    (Original post by LadyJazzles)
    Oh hun, firstly I am sorry that you are going through this at such a time. Right now, you should be getting support, this is the last thing you need. Having to prove it all to people!

    This ex boyfriend of yours sounds like a right scumbag.

    I agree with *Dreaming* you need to cut off all communication with him straight away. He doesn't even deserve you, let alone any other girl by the sound of his behaviour!

    Just don't get involved with anything to do with him, his new girlfriend is his problem. Especially if he cheated on you with her, I would just walk away sweetie... Forget him.
    well put - little bit of rep for you!
  6. LadyJazzles's Avatar
    • Respected Member
    • Location: Kent
    • Posts: 173
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    (Original post by Future African game vet)
    well put - little bit of rep for you!
    Thank you
  7. Future African game vet's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Location: on a chair in my office
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    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    (Original post by LadyJazzles)
    Thank you
    no worries

    (you put it better than I did haha!)
  8. LadyJazzles's Avatar
    • Respected Member
    • Location: Kent
    • Posts: 173
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    (Original post by Future African game vet)
    no worries

    (you put it better than I did haha!)
    I think your response was fine, you gave your experience on it! It just goes to show how messy these things can get.

    I just hope the OP benefits from what we say. x
  9. odkfn's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Location: Aberdeen
    • Posts: 851
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    ...how did he "make" you do anything if he avoided you?

    Secondly he sounds like an ass, you're better off without. Don't know why you would meet this girl as all you have in common is you've both gone out with the same ****, don't see how meeting would be mutually beneficial. Just say to her "I don't want to meet you. I'm not annoyed at you, I'm annoyed at him, but regardless, I have no desire to see you".
  10. iwantcurlyhairtoo's Avatar
    • Exalted Member
    • Location: Lancashire
    • Posts: 366
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    (Original post by sugaar-xx)
    To cut a very very long story short, me and my boyfriend were going out for 1 year, I got pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion, he made me go through it entirely alone, rarely text me and never answered his phone, yet he would still text me the odd time to reassure me he loved me etc etc.

    When I returned home (from having the abortion) he avoided me, I then met with his family, who he hadn't told about me being pregnant, and they said he'd had another girlfriend for over 2 weeks... we hadn't even broken up yet. We then broke up and he started saying he'd also been sleeping with my friend behind my back.

    So now, 2 weeks later, his new girlfriend rings me wanting to know what happened etc.. apparently my ex had told her and his family I had lied about being pregnant and having an abortion, so I said I would meet her and show her the documents, texts etc as I feel it's something she needs to be aware of. I feel like I need to warn her about him. He's also a drug dealer and cheated on his girlfriend before me.

    I'm also so angry that he told his family I lied about it all, I feel like ringing his mum and telling her if she ever wanted to see proof (documents, texts) then she could.. but I don't know if I want to drag all this up again..

    His new girlfriend also rang me of a private number, she said she'd text me with her number so we could meet up but she hasn't.. and now I've spent my day just worrying about everything, just as I started to feel better

    What should I do? Thanks
    Your boyfriend seems like a complete jerk.

    Did you want to keep the baby?
  11. amyshamblesxx's Avatar
    • Wasting words on lower cases and capitals
    • Location: White Hart Lane
    • Posts: 2,632
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    No no no no no. Don't meet her, don't show her documents, just don't get yourself involved in this mess he's created.

    You need love and support at this time, spend time with friends, confide in a close family member if you feel it's appropriate. Don't get caught up in what will surely be a messy situation.

    Your ex boyfriend is a pleb and he isn't worth another minute of your time. Cut all contact.

    Hope you feel better soon.
  12. sugaar-xx's Avatar
    • Junior Member
    • Posts: 31
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    Thanks everyone for the replies.. I ended up meeting up with her but I think it would of been better if I hadn't.. found out he'd been cheating on me with her for 3 months, which is a lot more than what I had thought.. I just hope I can get over this.. he's the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life
  13. lilac_glitter's Avatar
    • Exalted Member
    • Posts: 310
    Re: Should I meet the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with?
    O thats awful but once a cheat always a cheat so most likely he will do it to her. Cut off all communication with him and her and concentrate on moving forward and find other things to occupy your time. You will find someone far better.
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