[tpxvs]

hmm.. long story short, i feel like i cant be friends with a particular person unless they appollogise. I wont go into it but he is definitely in the wrong but just simply doesnt see it, the few friends that know about this also think hes majorly in the wrong. I want to be friendly with him but feel out of principle i just cant unless he says "sorry". How do i do this?! I dont want to give in and be a mug cause hes clearly in the wrong.. but if i mention it i know it will only cause an argument.. what would you do?! if i tell him hes really stubborn and just needs to appollogise he'll probably become even more stubborn lol.

[Bellissima]

you can't make someone apologise and even if you do "make" them apologise you will know it's not genuine and it's only because you "made them" so you won't ever be satisfied with it.

you need to decide whether this is so important you want to lose a friendship and you really can't bear him... or do what i recommend and accept him back into your life but don't let him do whatever he did again. tell him you didn't like whatever he did so he knows. if he does it again then forget him.

[Sakura-Chan]

You can't make someone apologise, and would you really want him to just say it to make you feel better? Surely it's the actually being sorry part that's the most important!

All you can really do is talk to him about it again, in a calm way, and make it clear how much it's all upsetting you. Don't go in insulting him and going on about how stubborn he is, because that'll just get his back up again and make him annoyed at you. If you just tell him how you feel with regards to how it's affecting your friendship, I think that's the best approach. If he genuinely can't see that, and can't see that he's in the wrong, apart from just agreeing to let it drop I can't really think of what you can do

[Politricks]

If they can't find it in themselves to apologise to you, then are they really friend-worthy?

[tpxvs]

(Original post by Sakura-Chan)
You can't make someone apologise, and would you really want him to just say it to make you feel better? Surely it's the actually being sorry part that's the most important!

All you can really do is talk to him about it again, in a calm way, and make it clear how much it's all upsetting you. Don't go in insulting him and going on about how stubborn he is, because that'll just get his back up again and make him annoyed at you. If you just tell him how you feel with regards to how it's affecting your friendship, I think that's the best approach. If he genuinely can't see that, and can't see that he's in the wrong, apart from just agreeing to let it drop I can't really think of what you can do

maybe i havent explained this well enough.. i dont want him to just say it for the sake of saying it. I want him to be less stubborn and realise that he is actually wrong!

(Original post by Politricks)
If they can't find it in themselves to apologise to you, then are they really friend-worthy?

in his mind hes not wrong, hes too stubborn to see otherwise..

[Politricks]

(Original post by tpxvs)
in his mind hes not wrong, hes too stubborn to see otherwise..

What was it that he actually did?

[Sakura-Chan]

(Original post by tpxvs)
maybe i havent explained this well enough.. i dont want him to just say it for the sake of saying it. I want him to be less stubborn and realise that he is actually wrong!

in his mind hes not wrong, hes too stubborn to see otherwise..

I can't see that happening any time soon, then. You can't make him (or expect him to) apologise if he really can't see why he's in the wrong.

What did he actually do?

[misst911]

Talk to him, calmly and away from other people, and say you would like an apology. If you don't get one, it's up to you whether to accept that you won't get one and be friends or just give up on the friendship. People like that are difficult, it's only a matter of time before it happens again :/

[boromir9111]

That is an oxymoron......not good at all....

[tpxvs]

(Original post by Politricks)
What was it that he actually did?

its not a particular action.. he didnt do a specific thing. just they way hes being about something towards me..

(Original post by Sakura-Chan)
I can't see that happening any time soon, then. You can't make him (or expect him to) apologise if he really can't see why he's in the wrong.

What did he actually do?

^
i dont know how to explain it.. we havent spoken for a while and sort of started making more of an effort but already hes brought something up which hes being weird about (i knot this is very vague..) and id just like him to realise hes in the wrong.. he listens to other people too much and sort of isnt thinking for himself.

(Original post by misst911)
Talk to him, calmly and away from other people, and say you would like an apology. If you don't get one, it's up to you whether to accept that you won't get one and be friends or just give up on the friendship. People like that are difficult, it's only a matter of time before it happens again :/

yeah its so frustrating, all he has to say is 'sorry' and just laugh about it. but noo now theres tension :/ i almost want to do the apologising for him! lol

[PoGo HoPz]

Just try and appeal to his better nature, that's pretty much all you can do in a situation like this.

[tpxvs]

(Original post by PoGo HoPz)
Just try and appeal to his better nature, that's pretty much all you can do in a situation like this.

..or just punch him lol. its like i want to yell JUST SAY SORRY!!!!! (its not just me affected, if it was i wouldnt mind as much i think)

[Banishingboredom]

He probably doesn't know what 'appollogise' means.

[rhw]

This was me up until a couple of days ago, I hadn't apologised to any peers of mine (though, this being said, I rarely needed to) and it was just a pride thing.

First I started trying to justify my actions so I wouldn't have to apologise but, eventually, if the person matters enough to you then he will prioritise your feelings over his ego. It took me a few days to realise I was wrong but it took me almost a month to apologise mainly because I didn't get a chance to see her, along with the fact apologising felt humiliating.

I also did it face-to-face to show I was genuinely sorry, if the person does it via text or online then ignore it. Seriously.

[ScottishShortiex]

I've learnt that you can't make someone apologise for something they did wrong, because most of the time they don't think they were out of order! My stepdad is one of those people who never says sorry and it is so frustrating!!

[riotgrrl]

I can be quite stubborn when I'm convinced I'm right, and even if I'm later proven to be wrong, I find it really tough apologising. Unless it's really major, I tend to try and make amends by being nice to whoever it is, rather than literally apologising. It's a crappy character flaw, unfortunately, but I do genuinely feel bad about it and want to make up for it. Maybe your friend is the same?