Is it because I'm ugly

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I feel you OP. Some people can be absolute *****! Makes me angry how some guys treat girls.

Stop looking at yourself from the perspective of douches you meet on a night out. Night clubs and what not are completely shallow environments so don't take it personally.

OP you need to be yourself. Be proud of who you are. Keep your head up high. Find happiness in other things rather than your pulling ability and you will find that people will be drawn to you. Trust me.

Reply 21

danny111

Original post by ckingalt

You're only real problem is that you are massively insecure. Your self-doubt becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People look down on you because they intuitively realize that you look down on yourself.

This.

Personal experience

Reply 22

liftorrot

You have some ugly mates / guys .

Reply 23

Respect4Acting

looks......... matter (regardless of what anyone says)
the thing is, each to their own... but some people are to everyone's own.

so, yes.

Reply 24

kka25

Original post by Planar

You're an *******, this is obviously more about self-esteem than looks

I +ve you because you projected what I was thinking; especially the bolded one.

Reply 25

ddrrzzeerr

'Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted.'

That guy is a dick, although it is painful to take insults at least you didnt get fooled into spending time with him. Its like when people say being rich is bad because you don't know who your friends are.

I don't want to say 'there will be people who find you attractive' because if you feel like 99% of people find you ugly then I doubt it would make you feel better but on the issue height, being small isn't unattractive I would guess 50/50 split between guys prefering short or tall.

I never take much notice of people's comments on my apperance and you shouldn't either. If someone tells you youre ugly then that is obviously a nasty thing to say which means they intensionally trying to upset you. If they are trying to upset you then saying you are ugly is an obvious choice whether or not you actually are so it doesn't mean much. Even if they comment on specific aspects of your appearance it still doesn't show they actually believe what they say for example a guy might call a curvy girl 'fat' in an attempt to upset her even if he actually finds her body very attractive. So there are 4 groups of people, people who intend to upset and don't think you are ugly, people who intend to upset and think you are ugly, people who don't want to upset you and don't think you are ugly and people who don't want to upset you and think you are ugly. People calling you ugly could be from either of the first two groups. It also means people calling you attractive is equally uninformative, people in the fourth group have as much of an incentive to lie as the first. Since people won't tell you the truth the only person's judgement that is reliable is your own so you have just got to look in a mirror and decide for yourself. This week I discovered large stretch marks on my back, my family enjoyed trying to make me feel bad about it by continuously saying things such as 'make sure you leave your t shirt on when you are at the beach this summer'. It didn't bother me though because I decided they weren't that bad and knew they would say that however bad they looked. I know there is only so much anyone can take and after days of people going on and on, it does get to your head but you should be able to bounce of a few isolated comments.

Reply 26

AFineMess

Ignore the dicks, they're not worth it.
Go for guys that like your mind, not fake blonde hair or tits etc.
And smile, be confident! I'll bet you're actually the opposite of ugly, maybe you just need to be more confident when talking to guys!
Put it this way, If i was a guy, and I was with two girls- one not so hot and kind of fake looking but really outgoing and chatty, and one quiet and less confident, but relatively attractive, I'd talk to the chatty one, because it requires less of a social effort! Do you get what i'm saying? Confidence is key babe, good luck!

Reply 27

sarahjoosten

I always thought that Indian girls were really beautiful.

Indian girls in my opinion are usually stunning.

I've never seen an 'ugly' Indian girl. I'm sure you're beautiful. At last you've received compliments from both guys and girls - that's telling you something and some people never get compliments.

I doubt it's because you're 'ugly', maybe it's because you're different. I mean you're an ethnic minority so you stand out more in a dominated White population. I'm not saying that the people who pick on you are racist but you're different so more noticeable maybe?

And that's not a bad thing. I'm of an ethnic minority and proud.

Some guys in general are just jerks. They pick on all girls in general not just 'ugly' girls. I had a gorgeous friend suffer from the lowest form of self esteem because guys used to make her life a living hell and it later turned out one of the guys had a major crush on her.

You'll find a guy who loves you for who you are those guys are immature and not worth your time. Loads of
pretty girls get picked on and become insecure because of dicks like this.

Just remember that there will ALWAYS be dicks in life. There's nothing we can do about it to change it but what we can do is accept this and ignore them. Life's too short to let people get to you.

I understand what you're going through though. I've been picked on by guys all the way through high school and I get many people tell me I'm pretty but never believed them because of idiotic guys like this. I can tell that you're sensitive and I also am so just try and hold your head up high. You're beautiful xx

Reply 28

umarrehman187

so what are you trying to say? well however you look you look end of story........

Reply 29

Cherriesxo

I think you should be glad that you aren't friends with them, why would you want friends like that? You're a better person. I don't think they treat you this way because of your looks. The guy who mocked your lisp - do you think he might have been trying to make you laugh in a good way? Some guys do that - they expect girls to laugh at themselves and it's a way of sort of breaking the ice a bit. They can be a bit insensitive though.

Reply 30

taylorjustine93

you probably are ugly :/

Reply 31

Krov

Plenty of ugly guys out there, most don't give a ****.

Reply 32

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Original post by BillyBongos

Surgeries
Jocelyn Wildenstein has had extensive cosmetic surgery to her face[19] over the years, creating a "very unnatural appearance"[20] intended to elicit a more catlike look, according to her husband.[21][22] Wildenstein is rumoured to have spent £2million pounds,[23] apparently done to please her husband, who loved big cats.[24][25] Despite the unusual appearance of the plastic surgeries, Ms. Wildenstein is reported to be "ecstatic with her work. She feels beautiful. She looks in the mirror and she loves what she sees. She got exactly what she wanted."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Wildenstein#Surgeries

Well, if she's happy with the way she looks then good on her, at least it wasn't all a waste :yep:

Reply 33

Pitt1988

To be honest them guys are massive bellends. Personally I can't stand the blonde, orange through fake tan, attention seeking slappers that parade around bars and clubs thinking that they are the best thing that would ever happen to a guy, preying on some guys idiocy to buy them drinks all night. Been there and the majority don't give a **** about anyone, it's al me, me, me with them.

Give me a down to earth, intelligent, funny chick any day.

Reply 34

hiding12

Original post by Sharon-nd

I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

I certainly don't worship pretty girls, I treat all women with respect but this guy you allured to sounds like a cock, forget about him. At the end of the day, women like attractive men and vice versa, women are just as shallow as men but there are idiots in both sexes. I would try and ignore what they say and work on self improvemment

Reply 35

hiding12

Original post by Pitt1988

couldn't have said it better brother, those TOWIE wannabes are vomit inducing

Reply 36

soempty

The only thing i think when i look at your post is why you have mentioned "British Indian"... Are you ashamed of that in any way?

Reply 37

sammy-lou

I know it's easier said than done, but having some confidence makes the world of difference.

As other people have said, the reason that you are getting treated so badly is because you are so down on yourself that some obnoxious idiots think they can get away with it. I really, highly doubt that you are 'ugly' (whatever that word is supposed to mean). I think it is more likely that you have very low self-confidence, and do not meet up to this ideal that you think exists.

The wonderful revelation that I have made recently is that this 'ideal' is completely and utterly false. Not everyone wants a 'slim, blonde beauty'. They honestly don't. The sooner you see that, the sooner you can start to feel a whole lot better about yourself, and start thinking about yourself with some respect. It's only then that you'll have the confidence to stand up to people if they talk down to you. And you'll be amazed how people will much less frequently talk down to you anyway, just by the way you will learn to present yourself and hold yourself with pride :smile:

I know it all sounds like a load of waffle. I'd speak to a couple of close friends if I were you, get their full support so that they can keep an eye on how your doing, give you advice if you ask for it.