[vincentiPad]

Hi All,

I have come to this forum many a time, saved myself from embarrassment. Now I am in a bit of a dilemma.

So the situation is that I see a girl in my Spa and I find her quite attractive. Over the last few weeks I have been getting to know her and she has been "interviewing" me.

So I felt that I had enough indicators of interest so I asked her out on a "date". Bit of an unusual thing, but I asked her to go to a house viewing with me as I wanted her opinion on it as she bought a house recently. She agreed and we exchanged numbers.

We went to the viewing and it all went well. she is currently studying for professional exams and I have not been texting or calling much (don't want to seem needy).

I recently asked her out on another proper date ie a dinner date and she said yes, but after her exams (she told me exactly when it was). For that period of 3 weeks, I did not see her much and I didn't really text.

She also got a new job recently and she is now gets on the same train as me at work (train was packed and she called my phone to speak to me). But I have now been avoiding getting that coach again as a) she studies so I don't want to distract her and b) I don't want to "run out of chat" if you get what I mean.

She also goes to the Spa (regularly) on Sundays, but we rare chat much as she comes with her mom and its hard to get personal in a crowded sauna! AND she also goes to the same gym as me!

She seems flirty (I think) and teases me in a fun way.

Her exam finishes on Tuesday and I will start getting on her coach as she is less stressed (I hope) I will then start flirting and getting to know her better!

What I want to know is:
- should I be seeing her this much or should I avoid her?
- if she doesn't initiate a day for the date should I prompt again?
- we haven't build a relationship outside of the gym/spa and the banter has been quite generic so I definitely want to see her in normal clothes haha!
- how can I show that I am interested in her? (I'm not very good with girls!)
- does the girl always initiate touching (creepy if a guy is touvhy feely)

Thanks for reading and look forward to your replies!

[don_lad_]

in answer to your questions;
-hahaha why are you trying to avoid her if you're so keen on her? if you're into this girl then you should be comfortable with spending time around her, people don't normally avoid people who they're trying to have sex with. if she's keen on you (and she sounds at least open to it as you're going on a date) then might as well spend plenty of time around her (laying groundwork)
-yeah, if there's been exams and **** it might slip her mind and anyway it's the guy's job to sort dates and stuff out and book a table etc.
-that's not a question but good for you. generic banter is no substitute for normal clothes.
-taking her on a date seems a pretty good way. see how it goes and take it from there.
-no, a girl would normally expect a guy to instigate most things, eg holding hands, arm round the shoulders, kiss at the end of the night and other more scurrilous activities. but see how it goes man.

chill out and you'll be fine, good luck!

[vincentiPad]

Thanks fe the lengthy reply man! I mean to say that i think that I should only be meeting her and chatting on dates, in the early stages at least. I am fine meeting her normally when we are dating.

I agree about the guy setting stuff out, I will call her a few days after the exam!

I mean to see her in a more social setting ie restruants etc. I only see her at the gym or spa.

Thanks lad

[vincentiPad]

Bump

[watermelonwishes]

(Original post by vincentiPad)
Hi All,


What I want to know is:
- should I be seeing her this much or should I avoid her?
- if she doesn't initiate a day for the date should I prompt again?
- we haven't build a relationship outside of the gym/spa and the banter has been quite generic so I definitely want to see her in normal clothes haha!
- how can I show that I am interested in her? (I'm not very good with girls!)
- does the girl always initiate touching (creepy if a guy is touvhy feely)

1. see her more! but not super overly keen, just enough so she knows you are making an effort, and not just coinadink
2. Yeah, just mention it casually, as she is now finished and does she want to go out
3. get building the relationship then..date!
4. date, be friendly, and just make a good effort to show that you aren't just friends
5. no we do not, unless...well sometimes, but we need to know that it is acceptable to initiate touching, and hand holding etc, so surprise her and go for it. Initiate the kiss

[tu_es_jolie_x]

Totally thought you meant the shop Spar (especially when you mentioned "interviewing") and was confused as too why there was a sauna involved.

[Unknown?]

Stuff your wallet with money and then flash it about. The gold digger will come crawling.

[RichyFrench]

Quite an interesting post and I can see where you're coming from with what you're saying.. However, it's 3:24 and I can't imagine what I'd say will be particularly coherent so I'll edit this tomorrow when I can gather my thoughts.

[vincentiPad]

Hi guys, thanks for the replies!

The Spar comment made me laugh and richard I look forward to your reply

Also what do you guys think about texting? I like texting, but only once I know the person. I think it kills relationship building I think, the romantic kind anyway as it may lowerinterest level.

Finished her exams today and she will definitely want to wind down. I saw her on sunday and she seemed quite stressed about it all and did say that she just wants to go out etc! She is also a little older than me (about 2/3 years) I am 23.

Thanks again guys i

[Tizz]

Romantinc texting isn't a bad thing, I do it quite often. It's just easier to say what you really feel and you can take your time putting together the text (deleting stuff etc). Try to make her laugh

[vincentiPad]

Yeah it's easier to put meaning into the text I guess..

[Lucia.]

Just don't say "you look hot". It doesn't make knickers dissolve.

[Dark Horse]

(Original post by vincentiPad)
x

For what it's worth OP I think you steadily taper off how often you see her/talk to her before the dinner date. When you're on the dinner date just go "all out" and flirt a **** load. After the dinner date ignore her completely.

If all goes to plan she'll be set to fall in love with you. Good luck and let me know how it turns out.

[FirstDiscovery]

I do the same, when i know a girl is interested in me, i just avoid her for the fear of 'running out of chat!'

My advice is that keep it simple, just chat normally but make her laugh and feel good. = )

[vincentiPad]

Really appreciate the replies guys. And good advice dark horse.

I am really tempted to text her but am avoiding it until I see her on the train, which will be tomorrow. I will keep it light until the date!


Thanks guys

[vincentiPad]

Hey all,

Just to give you an update, i am really unsure of what to do next.
So we started texting a little, me being a little flirty. but i saw her over the weekend, (same gym / spa) and whenever i am there, i somewhat ignore her and she is making less effort to chat (think she is waiting for me to make a move) i think that i should ask her out once more.
One of the reasons i dont talk to her much in the Spa is because her mother go to the spa as well and its a little awkard to in a closed room.

I think the best time for me to ask her is when she is alone, i.e. when i see her by herself or when i see her on the train next.

so the question i want to know is: If i asked you out once, you said yes but wanted to delay it because of exams (exams are over now) would you want me to ask again OR would you initiate??

[vincentiPad]

Bump

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by Dark Horse)
For what it's worth OP I think you steadily taper off how often you see her/talk to her before the dinner date. When you're on the dinner date just go "all out" and flirt a **** load. After the dinner date ignore her completely.

If all goes to plan she'll be set to fall in love with you. Good luck and let me know how it turns out.

What?

[Dark Horse]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
What?

Some things in life just don't make sense, yet always seem to work.

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by Dark Horse)
Some things in life just don't make sense, yet always seem to work.

Well, maybe you do better if you keep your gob shut.