I’m not a manly man – Is it a problem for the ladies?

I think it might be a problem – I'm 20 and never had a girlfriend. My Gran thinks I'm gay, apparently.
I read Computer Science at University – male dominated. I’m a bit geeky.
I’m tall, skinny and wear converse, slim fitting jeans and t-shirts (I have to wear slim fitting jeans - regular fit hang off me!)
I’m not ‘fit’ and don’t have muscle and go to the gym - Like a number of my friends.
I’m a little shy at first. I think I lack confidence other guys make up with their appearance– knowing girls like how they look. But I’m happy with how I look. I think.
I enjoy football – its the most manly I get in a pub watching football with a pint of beer. That is it.
I don’t have facial hair. I look at guys my age with girlfriends and think - Why is she with him? Personality ? Appearance? What have they got - that I haven't. Is it the 'man'/confidence factor?
Apparently a gay guy at my University does ‘fancy me’. I’m not gay.
I need to ‘man up’, no?

Reply 1

TTTC

You sound quite similar to me. Some girls will like a guy exactly like how you described, easier to talk to, share things in common with (for example I like romcoms, which some girls like and some girls don't). There isn't really set things girl like in a guy, but you definitely don't need to think that you're alone in being like that and you certainly will find a girl that likes that if you keep on looking.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

bump.

Reply 3

gingerben

9

i think it may be confidence for you mate
i do computer science aswell =] so i know how you feel with having virtually no girls in a class
do you tend to approach girls when the chance is there?
you basically sound like most fellas, just try and build some confidence and put yourself in situations your not used to =]
good luck mate

Reply 4

Ryan_94

2

Everyone likes different types. If you wanna, join the gym and beef up, but saying that - some girls may actually prefer muscle less... :') Can't please 'em all !

Reply 5

Glow in the dark

14

It's all confidence, the rest is just irrelevent really when it comes to finding a girl for yourself as they fall hand in hand. Once you become more self assured and confident things will fall into place, I would just work on building that up, it's not about being more manly because you are who you are at the end of the day. Confidence is key

Reply 6

Lucia.

16

Not all women have the same tastes in men. I'm not going to lie to you though. Working on technique and injecting a bit of confidence will not do any harm.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 7

Dark Horse

Original post by Anonymous

I think it might be a problem – I'm 20 and never had a girlfriend. My Gran thinks I'm gay, apparently.
I read Computer Science at University – male dominated. I’m a bit geeky.
I’m tall, skinny and wear converse, slim fitting jeans and t-shirts (I have to wear slim fitting jeans - regular fit hang off me!)
I’m not ‘fit’ and don’t have muscle and go to the gym - Like a number of my friends.
I’m a little shy at first. I think I lack confidence other guys make up with their appearance– knowing girls like how they look. But I’m happy with how I look. I think.
I enjoy football – its the most manly I get in a pub watching football with a pint of beer. That is it.
I don’t have facial hair. I look at guys my age with girlfriends and think - Why is she with him? Personality ? Appearance? What have they got - that I haven't. Is it the 'man'/confidence factor?
Apparently a gay guy at my University does ‘fancy me’. I’m not gay.
I need to ‘man up’, no?

If it makes you feel any better I DO go to the gym, am more muscular than any of my colleagues, DO grow facial hair quite easily and I still get called a homosexual at work.

It wasn't even banter at first. They had me down as a raging homosexual until my first time at 5-a-side night where they decided I must be straight because I COULD kick a football quite well. Such is the logic of these mysterious creatures we call men.

Reply 8

almosttrue

well i suppose its like asking guys if they like manly women

Reply 9

Millie228

9

Everybody have different preferences. It is true that the majority of men will prefer feminine women, but some will also prefer girls with a more hippie/rock vibe or tomboys. Opposites attract, so in the same way girls have different preferences. You can see it this way; a certain % of men will prefer "boyish" girls and the same % of women will prefer less masculine men. I don't have a problem with "thin" guys, although I will admit I don't like the clothing style you describe.

If you feel you're lacking in confidence or that your appearance don't match your personality, you can work on that. But to answer your question on what attracts girls - a number of things, but masculine is an attitude and a behavioral pattern, not an appearance.
In my experience, through my entire upbringing, the 'popular' guys have been those who are confident, charismatic, funny, cool, good sense of style, usually well off (being from a wealthy background does in fact give some guys a confidence other guys don't have. They are often more likely to be well-traveled as well). Although not all of those things are achievable, my point is that it has never been the most bulked-up guys who get the best girls. I've observed it in some working class environments, where "health studio" guys like you see on TOWIE are popular, but for most people, the way a guy carries himself is the most important.

But in general, the amount of women who prefer feminine qualities in men is obviously smaller.

(edited 11 years ago)

I’m not a manly man – Is it a problem for the ladies?

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