best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?
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best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?Alright so I have this 'friend' at sixth form who basically I can't trust no more after he sold me out on a HUGE promise, and basically hes just scraping his way through sixth form and is only going to uni for the "experience", only wants to get hammered on a daily basis and is by no means is this guy a hard working individual - and to my unfortunate position he is also coming to the uni I'm going to and, living somewhat close to me, he's obviously going to want to travel with me to the uni (via train, or bus), and obviously chill as 'friends' do. he's also started taking part in drugs and stuff I dont want to know this guy anymore. At the best, I don't think he'll make it through the first year of uni. I've got two other friends who are more focused people and are going to the uni... I'm trying my best to pass my driving test ASAP and get a car as a means of transport from which I can do whatever the hell I want
I dont believe to be superior to anyone, but this guy clearly isn't on my level. failed his GCSE's and got through with BTEC's, best way to put it, a chav getting into uni. I don't want to know, or talk to a drug user, or even be friends with a drug user.
how do I end this 'friendship' naturally?Last edited by icecoolwas; 19-06-2012 at 15:31. -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?Just stop talking to him. Mind you, he is the guy who would even pester you for a lift in your car after you pass...
Don't want to sound rude to him but "gang" up on him, if you get what I mean, with your other friends.
If your "frienemy" is hurting you, stand up for yourself and do it right away,dont take the pain. There is nothing as effective as simply making it known that you Have Respect for Yourself and Be Respected.You don't have to be mean or snotty. Just say, "Hey, was that nice?" If there are others around, there's a good chance at least one of them will join in on your side. Definitely, no matter what the outcome is, don't wait - don't let this treatment drag on. When you allow it to continue without protesting, your "friend" may continue putting you down. Make sure s/he realizes that's not the case, right away.Last edited by Frankster; 19-06-2012 at 15:33. -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?Personally i think you need to grow up and realise that this friend isnt below you in any pyramid or scale, to which you seem to be at the top.
I just about got back into my school with my GCSEs and i also sometimes take drugs, does that mean my friends at university shouldnt talk or acknowledge me?
Seems to me your jealous he can get into the same uni as yourself and you think your better. -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?there are going to be thousands of people at uni. unless you're doing the exact same course with the same modules, you'll have lectures etc at different times. you'll meet new friends and you can just hang out with them instead. no doubt he'll find his own group of loser friends and won't be interested in hanging out with you anyway.
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?I clearly mentioned myself to not ever feeling to being superior to anyone, this guy has just taken the wrong path in life, and he 'enjoys' his path - he was a good friend back in year 9,10,11 - but he has completely changed, although him being a drug user isnt the sole factor why I dislike him now, I ain't going to lie, it definetely is a significant one. we share NOTHING in common at all. I'm not jelous of him going to uni, good for him - personally I think it wasn't the right choice for him, as he has no motivation to study at all; would have been better off getting a full-time job from his a-levels; but that doesn't matter; he can do whatever he wishes.(Original post by barmy_army)
Personally i think you need to grow up and realise that this friend isnt below you in any pyramid or scale, to which you seem to be at the top.
I just about got back into my school with my GCSEs and i also sometimes take drugs, does that mean my friends at university shouldnt talk or acknowledge me?
Seems to me your jealous he can get into the same uni as yourself and you think your better.
I'm going to ignore my problems, and yeah, it's likely he'll find a new group of friends; he pretty much ignored me throughout the first year of sixth form for his other druggy mates and it seems hes crawling back because he realises he won't have anyone at the start of uni. I'm not intending on completely blanking the guy; but I hope he can find his own crowd of friends.Last edited by icecoolwas; 19-06-2012 at 15:57. -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?We are on completely different courses, and yeah I intend to meet new people. thanks for the re-assurance.(Original post by canŵio)
there are going to be thousands of people at uni. unless you're doing the exact same course with the same modules, you'll have lectures etc at different times. you'll meet new friends and you can just hang out with them instead. no doubt he'll find his own group of loser friends and won't be interested in hanging out with you anyway. -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?People make new friends at uni, even if they know people from before they go, it is natural. You probably won't see him very much, you probably won't have lectures at the same times anyway.
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?If he slacks off as much as it seems then you can be hopeful that he ends up not getting in.
If he does then try not to worry, it's highly unlikely you'll even see each other much at all (assuming you're on different courses and get different accommodation). You'll both meet new people and from the sounds of it, will definitley be hanging out with different types of people.
If he does try to see you more, just tell him where him to bugger off.
As for the travelling there thing, just tell him that your parents are driving you/there's no room in your car? -
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Re: best way to avoid a so called 'friend' when I start uni?What uni are you going to? If your not doing the same course, or even if you are you are bound to both make your own friends anyways. I think its harsh to ignore someone but maybe distance yourself from them or just see them at different points in the day so see him at lunch as opposed to the evening where he's more likely to do the stuff you don't like. Hopefully your halls will be different sections and floors so you wont have to live with him to much! The travel thing say you've already made arrangements
