The Student Room Group

how do you deal with people you know who patronise you?

how do you deal with people you live with, work with or hang out with who put you down and patronise you? i got to admit i'm not very good with it - on feedback from a work placement they said i was too passive or too aggressive with the other students when a couple spent weeks pushing me around cos i'd had less experience... i don't care about strangers being rude, but how do you stand your ground etc without causing a confrontation and a major problem or being a pushover??
Reply 1
Depending on the situation and age to be honest.

If your dealing with children; without being aggressive, a firm and assertive voice with eye contact and eye level usually does the trick.

With teenagers it can vary; if you get to know them a bit before they act up it makes it easier to realise how to control them.

I usually dealing with people who try to patronize me with straight up verbal communication. I question the way they are implying what they are saying and try to verbally molest them if I know they are trying to hurt my feelings on purpose. If not I will first try and find out what their problem is before creating a mountain over a mole hill.
Reply 2
Original post by Dicey

I question the way they are implying what they are saying and try to verbally molest them


?????
Reply 3
Original post by x_Natalie_x
?????


If they try to hurt my feelings I will dig deeper to why and then verbally destroy them with what their problem is if it unreasonable.
Never read what the OP wrote - sorry, but:

I usually research a lot on a specific topic, or something controversial, then I try to smash the person who patronises me :smile:
Reply 5
All you have to do is say nothing, and stare directly into their eyes, with a very blank expression on your face. They will get the message that you are not playing their mind game.
Reply 6
Usually shoot them down with intelligence and wit.
My new boss has just taken over because the old one ran the department so poorly, so he treats us like he is the saviour and we should be so grateful. I mainly deal with it by avoiding eye contact in meetings so he can't single me out ("Which of your colleagues were you most impressed by today?" being his favourite question- awkward when they are all in the room and he makes you pick one of them- "Now now no cop outs please" being his reply to anything general) and smiling and agreeing with everything else.

There's no point being aggressive with your colleagues- at some point you will need their help, and if they have more experience than you, you can learn from them. Keep your head down and prove yourself capable and they'll soon leave you to it and you'll probably end up friends :smile:
Reply 8
With aggression (steadfast but polite non-cooperation)

Original post by Pitt1988
Usually shoot them down with intelligence and wit.


OK sweetie

Original post by rougelipstick
My new boss has just taken over because the old one ran the department so poorly, so he treats us like he is the saviour and we should be so grateful. I mainly deal with it by avoiding eye contact in meetings so he can't single me out ("Which of your colleagues were you most impressed by today?" being his favourite question- awkward when they are all in the room and he makes you pick one of them- "Now now no cop outs please" being his reply to anything general) and smiling and agreeing with everything else.

There's no point being aggressive with your colleagues- at some point you will need their help, and if they have more experience than you, you can learn from them. Keep your head down and prove yourself capable and they'll soon leave you to it and you'll probably end up friends :smile:


That's horrible :frown: I'd politely refuse to answer on the grounds that I feel it's a divisive question
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 9
I play along then go home and cry alone, their patronisation still ringing in my ears as I finish the last Custard Cream. I imagine them going out and getting laid whilst secretly hoping they get an STI. My revenge complete, I crawl into bed with nothing but an empty pack of biscuits and a half-watched DVD boxset of One Tree Hill for company.
I'm a hopeful professional boxer, so I piss them off to an extent where I hope they push me, or even lay a finger on me, so I can batter the **** out of them and get away with it in court.

I'm not very tolerant when it comes to people pissing me off.
Ah I wanna know the answer to this too. Recently encountered a person at sixth form who tries to patronize me on EVERY little thing I do.
Reply 12
sarcasm or just act really dumb so they get pissed off
Reply 13
Original post by diggy
sarcasm or just act really dumb so they get pissed off


"You are literally too stupid to insult"

"Thankyou :smile:"
Reply 14
I would tell you what to do but I doubt a sweet little thing like you would be clever enough to understand. :wink:
Reply 15
Original post by TheHansa




OK sweetie





See what you did there :wink: I wont rise to it sugar tits

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