Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

how do you deal with people you know who patronise you?

Announcements Posted on
Got a question about Student Finance? Ask the experts this week on TSR! 14-09-2014
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    how do you deal with people you live with, work with or hang out with who put you down and patronise you? i got to admit i'm not very good with it - on feedback from a work placement they said i was too passive or too aggressive with the other students when a couple spent weeks pushing me around cos i'd had less experience... i don't care about strangers being rude, but how do you stand your ground etc without causing a confrontation and a major problem or being a pushover??
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Depending on the situation and age to be honest.

    If your dealing with children; without being aggressive, a firm and assertive voice with eye contact and eye level usually does the trick.

    With teenagers it can vary; if you get to know them a bit before they act up it makes it easier to realise how to control them.

    I usually dealing with people who try to patronize me with straight up verbal communication. I question the way they are implying what they are saying and try to verbally molest them if I know they are trying to hurt my feelings on purpose. If not I will first try and find out what their problem is before creating a mountain over a mole hill.
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dicey)
    I question the way they are implying what they are saying and try to verbally molest them
    ?????
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by x_Natalie_x)
    ?????
    If they try to hurt my feelings I will dig deeper to why and then verbally destroy them with what their problem is if it unreasonable.
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Never read what the OP wrote - sorry, but:

    I usually research a lot on a specific topic, or something controversial, then I try to smash the person who patronises me
    • 7 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    All you have to do is say nothing, and stare directly into their eyes, with a very blank expression on your face. They will get the message that you are not playing their mind game.
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Usually shoot them down with intelligence and wit.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    My new boss has just taken over because the old one ran the department so poorly, so he treats us like he is the saviour and we should be so grateful. I mainly deal with it by avoiding eye contact in meetings so he can't single me out ("Which of your colleagues were you most impressed by today?" being his favourite question- awkward when they are all in the room and he makes you pick one of them- "Now now no cop outs please" being his reply to anything general) and smiling and agreeing with everything else.

    There's no point being aggressive with your colleagues- at some point you will need their help, and if they have more experience than you, you can learn from them. Keep your head down and prove yourself capable and they'll soon leave you to it and you'll probably end up friends
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    With aggression (steadfast but polite non-cooperation)

    (Original post by Pitt1988)
    Usually shoot them down with intelligence and wit.
    OK sweetie

    (Original post by rougelipstick)
    My new boss has just taken over because the old one ran the department so poorly, so he treats us like he is the saviour and we should be so grateful. I mainly deal with it by avoiding eye contact in meetings so he can't single me out ("Which of your colleagues were you most impressed by today?" being his favourite question- awkward when they are all in the room and he makes you pick one of them- "Now now no cop outs please" being his reply to anything general) and smiling and agreeing with everything else.

    There's no point being aggressive with your colleagues- at some point you will need their help, and if they have more experience than you, you can learn from them. Keep your head down and prove yourself capable and they'll soon leave you to it and you'll probably end up friends
    That's horrible I'd politely refuse to answer on the grounds that I feel it's a divisive question
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I play along then go home and cry alone, their patronisation still ringing in my ears as I finish the last Custard Cream. I imagine them going out and getting laid whilst secretly hoping they get an STI. My revenge complete, I crawl into bed with nothing but an empty pack of biscuits and a half-watched DVD boxset of One Tree Hill for company.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I'm a hopeful professional boxer, so I piss them off to an extent where I hope they push me, or even lay a finger on me, so I can batter the **** out of them and get away with it in court.

    I'm not very tolerant when it comes to people pissing me off.
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Ah I wanna know the answer to this too. Recently encountered a person at sixth form who tries to patronize me on EVERY little thing I do.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    sarcasm or just act really dumb so they get pissed off
    • 7 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by diggy)
    sarcasm or just act really dumb so they get pissed off
    "You are literally too stupid to insult"

    "Thankyou "
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I would tell you what to do but I doubt a sweet little thing like you would be clever enough to understand.
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheHansa)



    OK sweetie


    See what you did there I wont rise to it sugar tits

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: June 22, 2012
New on TSR

Writing your personal statement

Our free PS builder tool makes it easy

Article updates
Useful resources

Quick link:

Advice on everyday issues unanswered threads

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.