[Anonymous]

To be honest, for the last few years i have felt low in mood, but these last four weeks i have been feeling really, really weird. I went to the doctors on Friday because I’ve had a really bad headache for the last few weeks and it hurts when i bend over, she rang the on call registrar at the hospital because she was worried about what it could be...one of my family members died from a brain tumour a couple of years ago so i think she was worried about that, but anyway, she said take painkillers for a week and if it hasn't gone come back (helpful!). She did ask me if my mood had changed, i said no because my partner was in the room with me, i felt like screaming YES! My mood has been really erratic and I’ve been thinking about life and what’s the point in it...if you get my drift. I feel like i can't catch my breath. I did go to the doctors a few months ago and they said they thought it was chronic depression, but i chose not to get it officially diagnosed because i'm going to uni in september to study nursing, and i was worried this might show up on my health check and therefore might get rejected. I just can't take it anymore, can anyone give me advice on what i should do?

[Madprof]

You won't get rejected from or kicked out of nursing because of a diagnosis of depression. The people running the course wouldn't even need to know. The people you would need to tell would be occupational health (you don't legally have to, but if you run into problems later it would protect you to have already told them). Loads of students have depression, in fact it's more common in medical students at least, I suspect nursing may be the same. Occupational health would then probably ring you up and ask you a few questions. They're there to support you (eg give you extra time on assignments, have someone record lectures for you, whatever help you might or might not need) and it's very, very rarely that they recommend that people with depression aren't OK to continue with the course right now - only when things are really tough.

I'd go back to the doctor and tell them what you're feeling - print out this page and give it to them if that would be easier than talking. If you felt uncomfortable talking in front of your partner, can you go without them, e.g. while they're at work? Or ask for a phone appointment instead if that makes it easier to talk in private.

[Anonymous]

Thank-you so much for replying! Yeah, i guess i should go back to the doctors before i do something stupid. I could go without my partner i suppose, but he's very possessive and needs to know where i am all the time, which probably isn't helping with my mood. I just don't want my family or my partner to know that i'm depressed; i'm very good at putting on a brave face and hiding it, and i kind of feel ashamed and embarrassed that i am.

[Madprof]

It's really common to feel guilty if your mood is low - from what you've said I don't think you have anything to feel ashamed or embarrassed about!

Hmm, your situation with your partner sounds a bit tricky for you to have to deal with. So maybe a phone appointment whilst you're supposed to be at school/uni or whatever? Or tell him you're going for 'girl problems' (assuming you're a girl that is!) and you don't want his company. I guess in an ideal world you could be open with him and your family but I appreciate that might not be an option.

[Anonymous]

I am a girl haha. He is understanding, but he's one of them people, as are my family, that think depression is not real, if you know what i mean, like you should just be able to get up and get over it, but obviously unless you've experienced it, you don't know how it makes you feel.

[Anonymous]

Maybe seeing a psychologist or a councillor will help you...
A few years ago I was feeling SO down (the main reason being self conscious about a rare medical condition I have) My family told me I wasn't right and that I needed help, help from someone 'outside' the family etc. So I booked a doctors appointment and told them how I was feeling. My gp recommended that I saw a psychologist. I had to fill out a form explaining how I felt. This was sent off to the hospital and then I got a letter confirming my appointment with a psychologist. I REALLY did not want to go, but my family convinced me it was the right thing to do. And I'm so glad I did. It helped me loads, just being able to spill out all that was on my mind to a 'neutral' person, who had a different perspective was brilliant! Therapy (yes the t word!) is not an 'overnight miracle', more like a journey which you take which helps change your perspective on certain issues. I think I went for about 6 months and during that time, my psychologist asked me,when I faced challenging situations, to look back at my responses to them and if necessary adjust my thinking about the certain situation.