[blondyx]

The guy I was dating for the past few months told me he liked me as more than a friend, told me I was attractive, used to say things like he smiled when he got a text from me and was looking forward to seeing me, we would talk everyday about stuff and he said I was his type etc. He said he never dates multiple people at a time and that I was the only girl he was seeing, he said I should meet his friends sometime and his friends knew about me. Seems all good..

Then he is off with me for a week or so and I ask him why, and after waiting a day or so for a reply he explains he see's me a really good friend and is worried because he hasn't 'emotionally bonded' yet and hes worried. He said he doesn't want to run away but doesn;t want it to be a problem later. He explaind he doesn't know why but he hasn't felt as connected to me over the past week or so. What i keep thinking about is that he referred to himself as a mug and said 'I don't know whats wrong with me' twice. I don't know whether he is trying to tell me he has problems or whether he is just trying to be nice or something.I don't really get it as from his previous actions and things he said I thought he was genuinly interested..

His track records of relationships aren't too good. He was with a girl for 7 months before entering a relationship with her, and then they were together 3 years but she dumped him for another guy. His next 2 relationships he said he rushed into and didn't know them well enough. Those 2 relationships only lasted a month or 2 and he said he thinks looking back he was with them for the sake for it and didn't really like them that much because they were both really weird people.

I can't get closure from him and its eating away at me wondering. Does it seem like he never liked me or cared about me enough to continue seeing me or does it seem like he has some weird emotional/commitment problem that makes him want to run away? A few of my friends say it sounds like he is just scared of commitment and thats why he discarded me but I don't know whether they are just trying to be nice.

[blondyx]

Anyone?

[Sovix]

(Original post by blondyx)
The guy I was dating for the past few months told me he liked me as more than a friend, told me I was attractive, used to say things like he smiled when he got a text from me and was looking forward to seeing me, we would talk everyday about stuff and he said I was his type etc. He said he never dates multiple people at a time and that I was the only girl he was seeing, he said I should meet his friends sometime and his friends knew about me. Seems all good..

Then he is off with me for a week or so and I ask him why, and after waiting a day or so for a reply he explains he see's me a really good friend and is worried because he hasn't 'emotionally bonded' yet and hes worried. He said he doesn't want to run away but doesn;t want it to be a problem later. He explaind he doesn't know why but he hasn't felt as connected to me over the past week or so. What i keep thinking about is that he referred to himself as a mug and said 'I don't know whats wrong with me' twice. I don't know whether he is trying to tell me he has problems or whether he is just trying to be nice or something.I don't really get it as from his previous actions and things he said I thought he was genuinly interested..

His track records of relationships aren't too good. He was with a girl for 7 months before entering a relationship with her, and then they were together 3 years but she dumped him for another guy. His next 2 relationships he said he rushed into and didn't know them well enough. Those 2 relationships only lasted a month or 2 and he said he thinks looking back he was with them for the sake for it and didn't really like them that much because they were both really weird people.

I can't get closure from him and its eating away at me wondering. Does it seem like he never liked me or cared about me enough to continue seeing me or does it seem like he has some weird emotional/commitment problem that makes him want to run away? A few of my friends say it sounds like he is just scared of commitment and thats why he discarded me but I don't know whether they are just trying to be nice.

hmmm,...... i think... he likes you, but he is scared of losing you encase you guys get into a relationship and then brake up. Coz after you brake up, its very very hard to be friends again. So thats why he said he sees u as a good friend..

[Pitt1988]

Sounds like a cop out to me.

[blondyx]

(Original post by Pitt1988)
Sounds like a cop out to me.

Meaning? :s

[Pitt1988]

Like he's making up excuses to not commit.

[Classical Liberal]

Sounds like he is trying to keep you available.

[Historophilia]

Sounds like a Mark 1 commitment phobe to me.

[Foo.mp3]

(Original post by Historophilia)
Sounds like a Mark 1 commitment phobe to me.

Correct answer (as I noted in your previous thread OP)

[Historophilia]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Correct answer (as I noted in your previous thread OP)

Agreed.

I had a near identical experience to her in fact, we were good friends beforehand he was very complimentary at first, saying all the same kinds of stuff this guy said.

Then he'd just stop texting me for days on end, never make any effort to see me, always made me do the chasing.

He even used the same phrase "I don't know what's wrong with me" when challenged about his behavior.

OP: Him's a commitment phobe. End of story. You'll find a much better guy soon enough.

[Foo.mp3]

(Original post by Historophilia)
he was very complimentary at first, saying all the same kinds of stuff this guy said .. Then he'd .. always made me do the chasing

Guys will often say whatever it is they think you want to hear to get into your pants; as aconcernedparent would say, one should judge them almost exclusively by their actions, certainly initially at least

[Historophilia]

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Guys will often say whatever it is they think you want to hear to get into your pants; as aconcernedparent would say, one should judge them almost exclusively by their actions, certainly initially at least

We live and learn. We live and learn.

In my case I was fooled because we'd been very good friends for about a year beforehand.

Also when you really like someone you do stupid things. And ignore what's staring you in the face to preserve your idealised view of them.

[blondyx]

(Original post by Pitt1988)
Like he's making up excuses to not commit.

Because he doesn't like me or because of some scared of relationships thing? :s

[M4LLY]

He is trying to keep you avaliable

[blondyx]

(Original post by M4LLY)
He is trying to keep you avaliable

Why would he want to do that? and why do you think that?

[M4LLY]

(Original post by blondyx)
Why would he want to do that? and why do you think that?

He could possibly just be worried that if the relationship goes badly your friendship may be compromised.

[blondyx]

(Original post by M4LLY)
He could possibly just be worried that if the relationship goes badly your friendship may be compromised.

Yeah I guess it could be that. Just seems so harsh of him to go to no contact.. I guess though if he didn't like me he wouldnt have said he did in the first place and wouldnt have kept talking to me for 3 months. I guess him saying multiple times 'I dont know whats wrong with me' to not being emotionally bonded is him genuinly thinking he has issues? :s

[DancinBallerina]

OP, my advice - as easy as this probably sounds - let it go. I am fighting a situation myself whereby bf (ex) has more or less done a runner on me, and although it's hard, I am coming round to just letting it go. Ok it's hard, I know, but dwelling over it and 'iffing' and 'butting' will do you no favours.

Let go and move on.

[blondyx]

(Original post by DancinBallerina)
OP, my advice - as easy as this probably sounds - let it go. I am fighting a situation myself whereby bf (ex) has more or less done a runner on me, and although it's hard, I am coming round to just letting it go. Ok it's hard, I know, but dwelling over it and 'iffing' and 'butting' will do you no favours.

Let go and move on.

I will try

[DancinBallerina]

(Original post by blondyx)
I will try

Trust me, I feel exactly like you.