[Anonymous]

Hi,

I have a problem. No one really thinks much of me and expects me to be sitting at home on the PC all day every day, not seeing friends not really achieving much, etc . These people are some of my parents friends they are just way too interested in me the first thing they ask about is me ... asking what I am doing every day, who I am going it, am I going on holiday blah blah blah why am I not and why this ... its just really suspicious.

I also have no friends and when I say no I mean that. Well I have 2 but I'm losing contact with one everyday because he is so competitive in everything I say and do he has to better it and I cba for that I just can't really talk to him when people are like that.

The other only uses me when convenient for him, if he has nothing to do. He dropped me on the day of my birthday for another party because it was better. When I was ill, after surgery I didn't hear from him for weeks and when I did it was all about him and he wanted me to help it when I was ill just didn't care. Then when he had a problem he expected me to care ... I lost it I shouted at him saying I just don't care. He just lies all the time I know this because I catch him out every time. Not really a friend

I try and make friends but I think I am really awkward because when people greet me (@ uni and volunteering work) I reply "I'm good thanks and you" then just laugh.

People just treat me like crap as well I help a lot of members achieve goals at volunteering work and these people just talk to me to find out how much progress I am making on their jobs they give me ... no hello just simply why is it taking so slow to do this.

Oh and I have no GF, never had, its just an achievement to get a girl to talk to me.


I guess I am pretty weak. Do I need to toughen up I am at to the point I just don't care about anyone. I hardly talk to my friends although I wouldn't really call them true friends its just more hassle than it is. I would like people to start taking an interest in me for the right reasons

[_becca]

(Original post by Anonymous)
.

Sounds like you're quite pessimistic or maybe depressed. Perhaps go talk to a counselor?

[Ham22]

Valium. x

[rj1990]

Sounds like you're pretty depressed man. Don't worry, I've been there. You just need to get out everyday, start living life and trying to smile more, smile to people. Easier said than done, but you just got to make the effort and get out there.

[Anonymous]

Well I am depressed at the situation but not in general I am still smiling. Just really looking for a way to better my social skils Have more friends just have a laugh like I see good friends do

Thanks for the support guys

[sweety0471]

It does sound like you are very pessimistic about your life and how you view things. Try just going for things just talk to a few people.

Talk to people on here or something the worst they can do is ignore you, then it's no loss. If not, you could make some friends here too.

Feel free to drop a pm x


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[Marlene Dietrich]

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm - take that - it sounds like your interpersonal relationships seem a bit confusing so have a go at that quiz, if it turns out you are 'on the spectrum' it may help you...

Although,

having said that from reading your post I can see two main things that are glaringly obvious - you are letting people neglect your needs, as in the people around you - you aren't getting what you need from them and by the sounds of it this seems quite a familiar situation for you. Did you have anything happen to you as a kid where you were perhaps put in danger quite a lot (like bullying for example) - it's a bit of cod psychology, but often, people who are scared a lot growing up end up giving too much in interpersonal relationships because they're petrified of people not liking them...

In terms of the loneliness, it's hard - I'd say go to your GP in the first instance, and to student counselling if you're in uni. The GP will probably suggest 'CBT' to you or put you on a waiting list for it - if you google 'mind matters university of bath' they have some downloadable self help CBT stuff to get you started - it feels a bit naff and artificial at first but it can help.

Most importantly, please just try and remember that no matter what other people tell you - you are just as valid and whole a human being as every other human being on the planet. And loneliness is something we all go through - you will find your people, one day... maybe not tomorrow but one day - there's a whole world out there, and in that world statistically there's literally millions of people who have the capacity to be your good friend...you will find the friends you deserve.

[Chillywilly93]

well for starters those guys sound like douchebags not friends

and yep i agree with others that if you want to meet people and do things you have to make it happen. I met my girlfriend at an animal park, which i reluctantly went a long to. now i couldnt be happier. just gotta say **** it, because when you're grey you'll regret it

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Marlene Dietrich)
Did you have anything happen to you as a kid where you were perhaps put in danger quite a lot (like bullying for example)

Yes and I was always the loner. I have low hearing and even with hearing aids I struggle in a crowded room which all throughout school put my off talking to people so I just kept myself to me. Even today I find it hard ... telling people doesn't really help

I failed that austism thing saying I wasn't which is interesting I didn't think I am really

Thanks for the support